Impossible is Impossible

This blog is my way of reflecting upon life. Life is about living and learning. As I live and learn I’m going to reflect upon this life I lead. Hopefully I'll offer something insightful with my postings. If you learn nothing else from me, know this that “impossible is impossible”.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I'm Starting to Dig Newspapers

SAT Records Biggest Score Dip in 31 Years

By Jay Mathews
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The first national results from the revamped SAT show the biggest annual drop in reading scores in 31 years and a significant edge for female students over males on the new writing section of the test, the College Board reported yesterday.

The report on SAT scores for the high school Class of 2006 illuminated how the introduction of the writing section -- including a much-dreaded essay question -- and revisions to the mathematics and reading sections have changed an assessment tool still used for admissions by most colleges and universities.

The College Board said the average score on the test's critical reading section was down five points and the average math section score was down two points, for a joint score of 1021, the lowest since 2002. The reading decline was the largest since a nine-point drop in 1975 on what was then known as the verbal section.

Average scores for public and private school students in Maryland, Virginia and the District also declined. Maryland had the largest drop, eight points in reading and six in math. As a possible factor, state officials cited a large jump in test participation among Baltimore students who had not completed a rigorous high school curriculum. Officials noted that SAT scores are nearly always higher in more affluent areas, and that participation rates can affect scores.


Is anyone surprised by this?

I for one am not.

Teachers are still confused as to how to advise their students on how to prep for the test outside of taking practice tests, and prep classes if they can afford them.

Seeing as though prep courses aren't generally available to lower income people, doesn't it just tell you that lower income students may be more prone to get lower scores.

Educational researchers may need to relearn cause and effect.


Square Feet
Unlikely Dorm Mates at Barnard
By LISA CHAMBERLAIN


Mixed-use development has become a well-established trend after decades of separation between home and work, work and shopping, shopping and home. Now, the mixed-use approach is being applied to a major college project in Manhattan.

In Morningside Heights, Barnard College recently built what is believed to be one of the first multiuse college dormitories in the country, where faculty members will not only live in the same building with 90 students but occupy the same floors and share laundry facilities and common space.

Besides the space for students and professors, the building, which is 15 stories tall in its highest section, also includes separate private residences (25 condominiums), as well as two ground-floor spaces for businesses and even a community garden.


Very interesting article in the NY Times. Barnard is brave cause it can be huge for the students and professors, or a big blow up!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Hurricane Katrina

It has been over 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31, 536,000 seconds since Hurricane Katrina battered the Gulf Coast region leaving a trail of sheer devestation and utter destruction in its wake. The storm which had a fairy princess name was not a thing of beauty, but looked very much like a beast.

The storm ravaged cities in Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana. From Mobile, Biloxi, Waveland, and Pass Christian to the city of New Orleans the destruction became very visible and something for the world to see.

For days I like many others sat watching the television coverage of this killer storm. I could not believe what I was seeing. When the earlier predictions said that the storm could make a direct hit on the city of New Orleans I wondered why the city hadn't been evacuated. I didn't know how many poeople were in New Orleans at the time, but I figured if I had heard of it, it must be a major city. While many thought that they'd dogged a bullet, the reality was that they hadn't. Instead they bit the bullet but it knicked more than their teeth, it also knicked the levees. The eventual levee breach allowed flood waters to cover over 80% of the city of New Orleans, but that flooding affected 100% of those living in the region.

In the days after the storm we watched in shock and in horror as a humanitarian crisis reminescent of the third world unfolded on American soil. If we wanted a nightmare we need only look as far as our Gulf Coast region.

I remember being worried about people I didn't know, because thankfully I have no relatives that I know of in that area.

In the days after Hurricane Katrina I prayed for those who were affected.

I corresponded with people who had been affected, and tried my best to be a shoulder in a distance, and to lend an encouraging word.

I did what I could to make sure people recognized that New Orleans with its unique history of blended cultures represents America, and our own mixed heritage.

My mind often harkens back to dispatches I read on my show last December. Words from people who know first hand what it meant to be affected by the storm.

Ashley writing of her first trip back, Amanda Kay writing of her connection to the city.

Their words served as a reminder to me of the human faces on a story of impossible suffering.

Ashley wrote:
I’m blessed to call Houston home and to have grown up here, but my life was enriched by living in New Orleans for the brief amount of time that I did. My life was enriched by being able to go there twice a year every year as a kid to visit my family. My life was enriched by the people that called New Orleans home. Those memories will never fade.

Amanda Kay wrote:
So I remain grateful because people that I know have had loved ones to die (not in New Orleans, but due to complications from surviving the flood), some have lost everything they worked for, but they are still upbeat. That's that New Orleans spirit that makes it so unique. See, down here you party during a funeral. You second line. That's what's going on now. So I was saddened for a minute, but the instant I went back down there my faith was renewed. There's no reason to be sad when there's so much to look forward too. I have a Mardi Gras to get ready for. LOL! I have a school to help rebuild. I have to lend a helping hand to the 7th Ward. Katrina means cleansing or pure and that's what she did.

Their faith that there would be a brighter day is what helps keep me encouraged!

Monday, August 28, 2006

I Took It (but credits are at the top of this blog)

I took this from La who took it from PW

Grub-ology:

* What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch

*What's your favorite fast food restaurant? Mmm McDonalds/BK (McDonalds fries, BK burgers)

* What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Ruby Tuesday's but I recently discovered Bahama Breeze like all the other LoCo kids

* On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? I usually tip 15%, but more if I have it

* What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Chicken salad sandwiches. I'm black with a twist!

* Name three foods you detest above all others. Grits, chittlings, pig feet

* What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Shrimp fried rice or shrimp and broccoli

* What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni (same as La)

* What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and grape jelly (same as La)

* What is your favorite type of gum? Doublemint

Tech-ology:

* Number of contacts in your cell phone? about 80, but prolly shouldn't be that many I talk to btw less than 15 people regularly

* Number of contacts in your e-mail address book? Somewhere around 150, I e-mail a lot.

* What is your wallpaper on your computer? Dell default probably bout to be Joy Bryant or me and my friends

* What is your screensaver on your computer? The default

* Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? No I ain't that bold

* How many land line phones do you have in your house? One

* How many televisions are in your house? Four

* What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Toaster

* What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? R&B/Hip Hop

Bi-ology:
* What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My eyes

* Are you right handed or left handed? Right

* Do you like your smile? Yeah, I was genetically predisposed to double teeth. As soon as I'm able I'm getting braces

* Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Nope

* Would you like to? Not that I can think of now

* Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Sometimes, it's the only time I can concentrate.

* Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Sight

* When was the last time you had a cavity? I've never had one.

* What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Stack of papers, books

* Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Knocked no, fainted yes

Misc-ology:
* If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No it would just drive me crazy

* If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? My mother almost named me Michael, but we had one of those.

* How do you express your artistic side? I write, sing to myself, pen poetry.

* What color do you think you look best in? Blue

* How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? I'd probably last 30 seconds

* Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Nah ya'll

* If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Uh no

* How often do you go to church? Not enough, need to get on that

* Have you ever saved someone's life? Not that I can recall

Has someone ever saved yours? Mm not that I can recall

Dare-ology:For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

* Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Hell yeah I would. That would pay off my loans, get me a car, and still leave some change

* Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Nope

* Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Pass

* Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? HEEEELLLLL no. I need to read (flip pages), write, and type but more read and write

* Would you never blog again for $50,000? Hell yes. I don't need to blog. I need $50,000 but would gladly accept more.

* Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Yes. In the words of Bill Bellamy in "Love Jones".... "Immortalize my s**t".

* Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Probably but maybe a lil more cause I know a doctor's visit would be in there somewhere

* Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? No. Never. I don't think I'd ever get over it.

* Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? Oh hell no. I am very hairy, and don't take kindly to pain!

* Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? As long as someone gave me play by plays or tvtome.com was still up in running I think could live without it.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Words to Ponder

Sunday- "Be human, be honest with yourself and then your truth will rise and be seen by everyone." -Judith Jamison

Monday- "Who you are is who you are on the inside. And there's not a mirror in the world that can show you that." -Phylicia Rashad

Tuesday- "I believe influence is the union of power and purpose." - Dr. Condoleezza Rice

Wednesday "Defiance, I love that word. I think there needs to be more defiance in the world...To me that means that there needs to be more people unafraid to go against the grain and be willing to loose everything for something other than just selfishness." -Alicia Keys

Thursday- "I'd never confuse recognition with respect."- Anna Deveare Smith

Friday- "You don't become rich until you understand service." - Rev. Run

Saturday- " I want to live this dream I have for myself, and my challenge now is to keep believing." -Sanaa Lathan

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Back At It

I'm back on campus and my room already looks a mess.

I'm unpacking but there is no method to my madness.

Is it bad that I've picked a bed, a dresser, and a desk?

My roommates don't arrive until next week.

In my mind, I have priority because I will be working here come Monday. I need to have stuff where it belongs so I can focus on what's more important the work I need to do.

So for some reason I got talked into moving on campus 9 days earlier than most other people. The only other people here are RA's, people still working on campus, and those participating in various leadership and service retreats. I must really love working at WLOY Radio. Last year I served as News Director, but I only really directed me. This year we hope to develop me a staff, so that I can be directed well someone other than me. LoL there instructions not mine.

Tomorrow at 2pm I have training for my part-time job as an aftercare counselor.

At 7pm I'm hosting an Aaliyah tribute show. Playing some of Aaliyah's music, reading some comments from those that knew her. Remembering her and honoring a life cut too short, two days the five year anniversary of her death this past Friday.

Monday it's our first staff meeting, and maybe some reporting for WLOY.

The rest of the week is up for grabs, though most of it will be consumed by WLOY.

I also hope to make it to the State Fair I want a funnel cake or some deep fried oreos or the chilled peaches and creme type sundae.

So for what may be the final time I ask: where has summer gone?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Outlook

Today was the last day of my internship at the Authority.

The Authority is a quasi government agency which works with different jurisdictions (cities and counties) to come up with environmentally friendly waste management solutions. I have never known so much about trash, recycling, and public works as I do now. I learned also a bit more about the inner workings of government.

I never thought in a million years I'd end up working somewhere like the Authority.

Three years ago just a week out of high school they hired me as an intern as a part of a program called Youth Works. Youth Works pairs motivated young people with employers who pay them to work in various fields throughout the summer. I was hired to help with communications and public relations. The first summer wasn't all that enjoyable but I did learn a lot. The second summer allowed me to get into a groove and contribute to the agency. This past summer wasn't as productive as I would have liked. In my mind I told myself, maybe I didn't catch a stride because I started a month later than usual. My colleague says its because so much was going on and the boss didn't have time to sit down and do more planning with me. Everyone says however that I did a good job. I guess they mean when I wasn't slacking or perceived to be slacking.

The boss lady took me out to lunch at a chinese restaurant today. At first we were going to Cosi some new chain (a wannabe Panera) which is in our building. Then when they were too crowded we were going to try Cafe Bombay an Indian restaurant. When we saw that they were closed we went to the chinese place. We had sweet and sour soup, steamed shrimp dumplings, and I had shrimp and brocoli. The boss lady had cashews and chicken. All the food was surprisingly delish. I decided to branch out a little and have non-American cuisine, because I promised one of my first bosses I'd do so when I got into college. She told me to do two things:

1) learn to dance

I have yet to master that skill.

2) try different foods

I have done that quite a bit to my mother's surprise.

So my fortune cookie from today reads:

"Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life."

Not a day goes by when I probably say to myself consciously or subconsciously that I shouldn't be grateful for who I am, and whose I am.

Far from perfect, I am most certainly a mistake maker.

I know also, that because I have been so highly favored, I can be a way maker.

I was reading earlier about the life of Lauren Crowner a young TV reporter who died much too young. She turned 25 Tuesday and died yesterday as the result of some sort of infection which had affected her brain.

I instantly remembered reading the story of Akilah Amapindi the 23 year old journalist who died from malaria which she contracted while spending time with her father and interning in the country of Namibia.

Then I read an article which highlighted the fact that tomorrow is the five year anniversary of the death of the late Aaliyah.

I think to how these young woman had three things in common:

1) as their family and friends would tell it amazingly geniune and giving spirits

2) physical beauty

and

3) an abiding faith that their calling (journalism in two cases, and music in the other), that that calling which was also their passion, that which gave them purpose might better the lives of others.

I think to how they didn't get a time to finish their life's plan.

And I think to myself how I must endeavor to take the limits off, the self-imposed limits, the limits created by man.

Nikki Giovanni said the other night something to the effect that,

"If you wait until you are wanted, then you will never accomplish anything."

The want has to be personal before it can be prophetic I guess.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My First Convention

Currently Listening to: Mixtapes via AOL Radio

Currently Feeling: Contemplative

Currently Eating/Drinking: Mango Mania Mistic (reminds me of my grandmother), Fruit Salad, and Strawberry Glazed Donut (trying to make it well-balanced LoL)

So I think I'm probably one of the only people alive who delights in reading the airline magazines, but I think that some of them are quite good. Air France's and Southwest's are very good IMO.

Eric Celeste of Southwest Airlines Magazine wrote in the most recent issue about his preparing for an upcoming high school reunion. I for one think that what he says can apply to college as well.

"Who am I kidding? Do any of us ever really get over high school? Completely? It's the most impressionable time in our life... Every romance is forever, every bad grade a guarantee of a career opportunity lost, every parting a heart-crushing blow from which you will never recover."

That was definite food for thought. So many times it seems that we want to give up our past, so that we have a future. I for one don't think that completely necessary.

I say hold on to that which was good to you, cause it might just be good for you. It's okay to look back, so long as you don't allow something to hold you back or hinder you!

So on to other things like a debrief about Indy:

I've dubbed this year my travelling year because I've vowed to explore more of the world in which I live. As people often feel the need to remind me college is supposed to be one of the most liberating times of your life. So I'm branching out it started with Italy in June, then Indy last week.

Student Meeting: We had a pretty good turnout. I think it went okay, but it could have gone a lot better. Mashaun whose the student rep I think got bogged down with questions, because students don't have enough time to have their questions answered on a regular basis. Something that stood out to me, there needs to be more attention paid to the concerns of students. It's great that we get to be with the professionals, but I still feel we need to address student issues apart from professional issues. I hope to be able to organize some quality programming for my region in the next few months.

Other Sessions: Some of the sessions I went to were great such as "The Blogger Buzz", "How to Land Your Dream Job Before You're 30", "Leaving the General Store". The first workshop talked about how to effectively utilize blogs. The second one allowed young up and comers to here from three successful young black journalists. The third workshop focused on TV reporters and the need to develop a specialty or a niche such as weather reporting, breaking news reporting, health reporting, technology reporting, or something along those lines to allow that reporter to become even more invaluable. There were also panels where entrepreneurs talked about black media ownernship, a panel about Hurricane Katrina which New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin attended.

Networking: It was a great chance to network and meet some interesting people. I definitely have some great people with whom I can now talk about life, careers, and the media industry.

Parties: There were mad parties which were very interesting. Too bad I'm a yougin, oh well LoL.

Other Events: There were some nice other events such as a Gospel Brunch, the Salute to Excellence Awards Gala, an advanced screening of Idlewild go see it this Friday, a preview of Dreamgirls go see that in December, and some other stuff.

I'm excited for Las Vegas next year. Let me start saving now.

Next stop on my travel schedule Seattle to serve on the faculty of a diversity leadership conference.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Love @ 1st Sight

Love @ 1st Sight.. WTF?!
Ok so just the other day someone asked me if I believed in love at first sight. Aiight.. let's break that down. What exactly are you falling in love with? You may be in LUST but I highly doubt it's LOVE. You don't kno this person so all you're basing your judgements off of is looks. So please if someone knows and can help me out... What exactly is LOVE at first SIGHT?
-My Friend Britt H's MySpace posting



I think that when you see someone it is possible to become intrigued by what you see. What meets the eye can certainly inspire you to act, amd to make a reality of a dream. There is most certainly a difference between lust and love. Lust has more to do with desire, love has more to do with commitment. I do think that your spirit can be touched by something you see, but the soul can only be touched by something you feel with your heart, which too is an eye. The truth comes when your love is tested, when the bond is tested, and yet it remains. Love is the first sight ot the divine!
-My Response

Monday, August 21, 2006

"A Different World"

Hello from Amazon.com.

We are sorry to report that the release of the following item has been
cancelled:

Different World "A Different World: Season 2"

Though we had expected to be able to send this item to you, we've
since found that it will not be released after all. Please accept
our sincerest apologies for the inconvenience we have caused you.


Can ya'll say it with me now: disappointed!

I was very much looking forward to sometime in the next few days getting a package in the mail which had my "ADW" DVD. I guess it wasn't meant to be, atleast not yet. I hope that the distributors get their act together and get the DVD out to us ADW fans.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Words to Contemplate

One must not cheat anyone, not even the world of its victory.
-Franz Kafka
The unpleasant events you are passing from will not have been profitless to you.
-Abraham Lincoln
It is difficult for one person to act a play.
-Chinese proverb.
The world only goes round by misunderstanding.
-Charles Baudelaire
Men like me are impossible until the day when they become necessary.
-Victor Hugo
Nothing gives one person so great advantage over another, as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
-Thomas Jefferson
When I’m not near the girl I love, I love the girl I’m near.
-E.Y. Harburg

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Little Get Away

So peeps for those of you who tune into this blog on the regular, just wanted to say I'm going away for a few days. Going to try to ensure my future! Unlike Italy, I won't be blogging! For real, I am not lying LoL. Some may consider this a gift or others a curse. But then again no one has offered to buy me a laptop just yet.

Before I go can I just say I love "The Today Show" for doing a piece on bed bugs making a resurgence, right before I have to go and sleep in a hotel. Thanks Ann and Lester (he's subbing for Matt!).

Oh and again thanks to "The Today Show" for telling me this.

More Americans Know Names Of Seven Dwarfs Than Supreme Court Justices

HaHa apparently more people know that Dopey is one of the seven dwarfs than know that Clarence Thomas is one of the Supreme Court Justices, and also they don't know about Homer's classic works.

Lester said that more people can name 2 of the dwarves, than 2 justice's or Homer's most notable work.

Cause ya'll know I warped my own childhood. I was watching the local news, reading the paper, and other stuff before I exited elementary school. See:

Dwarves:

Grumpy
Sleepy
Dopey

Supreme Court Justices:

Roberts
Alito
Breyer
Stevens
Kennedy
Thomas
Bader Ginsburg
Scalia
Souter

Oh and I knew what the Iliad and Odyessy were before Lester Holt told me. HaHa I haven't read them, but I know that they're classics.

One last pearl from T Win. He's often quoted on this blog.

Line of the day:

"We don't say ugly, we say visually offensive." -T Win

That's as good as one I once heard used "aesthetically challenged"!

Have a good week!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Words to Contemplate

Love is not love until love’s vulnerable.
-Theodore Roethke

I have nothing new to teach the world. Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills. All I have done is to try experiments in both on as vast a scale as I could.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Where there is no vision, the people perish.
-Bible: Hebrew Proverbs 29:18.

In politics, victory is never total.
- Donald Freed

In the midst of vice we are in virtue, and vice versa.
-Samuel Butler

The good I stand on is my truth and honesty.
-William Shakespeare

A melon forced off the vine will not be sweet.
Chinese proverb

"WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?"

Last night I caught a bit of Nancy Grace on CNN Headline News. Nancy was covering the story of Chanel Petro- Nixon. Chanel is a 16 year old who was murdered in her own neighborhood, and her body was later disposed of in a trashbag. They haven't found her killer. This has hit me square in the gut because it seems that people are showing a blatant disregard for the value of human life. A 11 year old boy was murdered here in Baltimore about two weeks ago. Seeing Chanel's parents on TV, hearing their story, and feeling their pain made it more real.

MORE OF CHANEL PETRO- NIXON'S STORY

I pray to God this young girl's killer will be brought to justice.

I pray to God that people will always understand the value of human life, the value of loving ourselves and others, the value of faith, and the value of seeking to contribute to the greater good.

Lyrics: "What About the Children" as performed by Yolanda Adams

Tears streaming down, her heart is broken
Because her life is hurting, so am I
He wears a frown, his dreams are choking
And because he stands alone, his dreams will die
So, humbly I come to you and say
As I sound aloud the warfare of today
Hear me, I pray

CHORUS
What about the children
To ignore is so easy
So many innocent children would choose the wrong way
So what about the children
Remember when we were children
And if not for those who loved us and who cared enough to show us
Where would we be today

Sir, where is your son
Where lies his refuge
And if he can't come to you, then where can he run
Such a foolish girl, yet still, she's your daughter
And if you will just reminisce your days of young
You see, it's not where you've been, nor what you've done
Because I know a friend who specializes in great outcomes
See His love overcomes

CHORUS (2 times)

Where would we be today
Where would we be today
Where would we be today
What about the the children

Friday, August 11, 2006

Living Vicariously

Yesterday I hung out with an old private school friend who now goes to Tuskegee. Talking to her made me want to go to a HBCU. I just want to join a frat, attend a homecoming, hear a marching band. So since me at a HBCU ain't happening in the near future I guess I'll live through others via youtube.

An Attempted Set Up (But They Will Learn Never to Underestimate and Never to Try to Undermine)

Why do I work somewhere where my co-worker has to glance other people's print outs and eavesdrop on convos to get information about her projects?

Why do I work somewhere where one supervisor can say to my co-worker, "Unless someone's dying I don't want to hear about it right now."

I just wish someone would try a line like that with me. Oh no CNEL does not take that humility won't do anything for ignorance.

Why do I work somewhere where the boss can say like 50 million times after giving me an assignment, "I still have to call those people about your doing that project."

Why do I work somewhere where they ask, "Did you give Chris some work, cause I didn't give him any, and (the boss) didn't give him any. We were wondering if he's just been sitting there."

And he has been sitting there bored out of his mind, trying not to be a burden, trying to learn something new, trying to be of help, and trying not to criticize some nonsense that goes on in the office.

So they tried to get me huh? Tried to set me up huh?

Well they set me up aiight, set me up for a comeback.

Why do I work somewhere like this?

Cause I am not the boss yet.

I have to work myself up to that level.

And they better believe I'll be on that level.

In the words of T.I.

What you know about that?
What you know about that?
What you know about that?
I know all about that

They better wake up or ask somebody!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Another B-Day

So today I in earnest began a new you resolution.

So I have dubbed this my 2nd birthday.

The Backstory:

A few months back I was sitting in a movie theater watching the preview for a movie called, "A Good Woman". I still haven't seen the movie, but I intend to do so eventually. I've been busy and I never saw it listed as playing in a theater near me. The preview was phenomenal, so I think the movie will be as well.

Something which was said in the preview struck me as being poignant and powerful:
"If you shut your eyes to everything that isn't perfect you're destined to fall into a hole."
-Helen Hunt as Mrs. Erlynne

Well I don't want to fall into a hole. I have decided to open my mind, and by doing so open my life to all the blessings which could potentially come my way. I have decided this since "every second a new second, every minute a new minute, every hour a new hour, and every day a new day". It seems that it wasn't until recently that I decided that I have the ability to set myself on a path towards contentment. Contentment: Much like anyone else I have a right to be happy, I have a right to be free. Free from the burden of making everyone happy but me.

What I want to achieve is that sense of balance which I know is out there.

My maternal grandfather turned 78 on Saturday. When I grow up I want to be as fly as my grandfather, cause the man has class, dignity, and a swagger. Even at 78 granddad shows you a thing or two!

Today's motivating force, the song below. You know the beauty of music is that it provides the power of transcendence. It helps transform you, and can even help transport you to another place. A place of piece. I was drawn to this song after it was sampled on Letoya Luckett's new cd Letoya. I mean phenomenal song, phenomenal.

Just A Prayer Away
As Performed by Yolanda Adams

I know that there are times in your life.
When the wheels just seem to turn
And uncertainty about your tomorrow to grow
One thing you should remember and you should always know
Out of everyone who loves you I love you the most

I am just a prayer away
Call my name with your heart and I’ll hear every word you say
When you cry at night I’ll wipe the tears away
Just pray my love and I’ll be there right away

You will never have to wonder about my love
Just put your faith in trust in my care oh
I will always be there to hold you in my arms
When your afraid don’t worry I’ll protect you from the storm
Out of everyone who loves you I your father loves you the most

I am just a prayer away
Call my name with your heart and I’ll hear every word you say
When you cry at night I’ll wipe the tears away
Just pray my love and I’ll be there right away
(Keep repeating for 4 rounds)

This girl's version of that song was aiight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhj5_rFLZt0

P.S.
Some of you may remember a few weeks ago I mentioned a supposed lunch or dinner with an old high school friend. I haven't seen her in forever and a day. Last week I gave her my number, and told her to hit me back when she came back from her second vaca. I wanted to be like take me. I'll help you relax. JK. JK. So anyway back to the story today she sends me a message telling me to call her and confirm, cause she may not call me. She must don't know, I knew it was a test. She wanted to see if I was game. I'm a scaredy cat, but I called her. Thank God for voicemail. LOL.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Made Me Think

I read this and said wow. Kind of one of those times
when you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

From NPR.org

NPR listener Betsy Chalmers was 22 when her husband
was convicted of a crime and sent to prison. After
spending almost three decades apart from him, she
believes in remaining faithful.

August 7, 2006

Faithfulness
by Betsy Chalmers

I believe in faithfulness.

I met him when I was 19, married him at 20 and we were
separated when I turned 22 because he was arrested for
and then convicted of a violent crime. He had failed
himself, his family, his wife and his future, but he
was my husband. I was mad, sad, disappointed and
frightened, but I loved him, and he needed me, so I
stayed.

I stayed through weeks of trials, years in jail and
decades in prison. I have faith in the covenant of
marriage and of the God we stood before when we took
those vows. I have faith in my husband and his ability
to grow and change and become a better man, no matter
where he is -- and he has. I have faith that time
makes changes in us all we cannot avoid or ignore.

I am now 50. He is 55. He is still my husband and my
best friend. I see him four hours every weekend and I
talk to him on the phone twice a week for 20 minutes.
I am not deceived or a martyr. I am not stupid,
uneducated or desperate. I am a wife. I work, have a
mortgage, a 9-year-old car, two dogs and bills just
like everyone else. This is so close to me, it is hard
sometimes to realize I am only one wife of over 2
million people who live behind bars. I have not made
many friends at the prison. I keep that part of my
life separate, but it's always there -- always a part
of every decision and choice I make.

Somewhere in here I think I'm supposed to say I
believe my husband is innocent, that the system didn't
work and we're victims of whatever, but that isn't the
point. How do we choose what crime is over the edge,
or what sin is too great to be forgiven? Yes, I get
angry at the situation. I have grieved the loss of
many of the normal things others have done, like
having children and vacations abroad. This is not the
life I would have expected for myself 30 years ago and
it isn't one I recommend to others, but it is my life.

At 50, I have come to the conclusion it is not the
life I have that defines me, it is the way I choose to
live that life. I choose to live it being faithful.
This brings me peace, this allows me to have joy, this
keeps me aware of my husband. My spiritual faith has
given me the foundation to live this life, not just
survive it. Faith in a God who has not abandoned me;
faith in a man who loves me; faith in myself. I
believe in faithfulness.

__________________________________________________
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Survey

I liked these questions though one's like fav books, fav music, and fav quotes sometimes change.

Style
Where I shop
Amazon.com, BestBuy.com (BUT FOR SOME REASON I DON'T THINK THAT MEANT THIS)
Brands I love
Mmmm no one like that
I like to wear
The colors blue, gray, and khaki, khakis, jeans
Can't live without
Mmmm
Prized Possessions
Family, friends, my mind, my cd's, my books
Guilty Pleasure
There's a lot of those a good book, a good cd, my poetry, my writings, a bomb chicken salad sandwich, pineapple soda, bbq chips, fresh baked goods

Movies
Favorite Movies
Hav Plenty, The Best Man, Love Jones, Lean on Me, Mr. Holland's Opus, She Hate Me, The Inkwell, Crooklyn
Favorite Actors
Kerry Washington, Joy Bryant, Monica Calhoun, Larenz Tate
Favorite Directors
Spike Lee
Favorite Genre
Dramedy, Romantic Comedy
Favorite Soundtracks
Love and Basketball
Movie Quotes I say all the time
"Can't shall never be in a man's vocabulary." - Love and Basketball
Movies I can watch over and over
Hav Plenty, Love Jones, The Inkwell, Crooklyn
Actor that would play me in a movie
Isaiah Washington

Music
Favorite Artists
Vivian Green, Jill Scott, Alicia Keys, Patti LaBelle, Rihanna, Destiny's Child, Raheem DeVaughn, Maxwell, Anthony Hamilton, Chris Brown, Ne-Yo
Favorite Albums
Destiny Fulfilled, Music of the Sun, Vivian, Who is Jill Scott?, Maxwell: Now
Favorite Genre
R & B
Favorite Songs
"Now I Know" by Rihanna, "Cursed" by Vivian Green, "Golden" by Jill Scott, "Diary" by Alicia Keys, "If Only You Knew" by Patti LaBelle, "New Day" by Patti LaBelle, "Cater 2 U" by Destiny's Child, "Feel the Same Way I Do" by Destiny's Child, "Speechless" by Beyonce, "You" by Raheem DeVaughn, "A Woman's Work" by Maxwell, "The Truth" by India Arie, "Good Man" by India Arie, "Beautiful Surprise" by India Arie, "The Truth" by Anthony Hamilton, "Pass Me Over" by Anthony Hamilton, "Young Love" by Chris Brown, "Say Goodbye" by Chris Brown, "When You're Mad" by Ne-Yo, "Sexy Love" by Ne-Yo, "Let Go" by Ne-Yo
Favorite Lyrics
Rihanna's "Now I Know", Vivian Green "Cursed", Ne-Yo "Let Go"
Songs for Roadtrips
Any of the above
Songs I hate
Come back to me
Guilty Pleasure
Beyonce's "Speechless", Maxwell's "A Woman's Work"
Songs I repeat the most
Rihanna "Now I Know", Ne-Yo "Let Go", Vivian Green "Cursed", Destiny's Child "Cater 2 U"
Band I wish I was in
112

Food
Favorite Cuisine
American
Favorite Dishes
Meatloaf, Chicken Tenders, Chicken Salad, Mashed Potatoes, Potatoes and Onions, French Fries, String Beans, Sweet Potatoes, Macc and Cheese, Corn
Favorite Desserts
Tiramisu, Peach Cobbler, Apple Pie
Favorite Drinks
Cranberry and Pineapple
Favorite Junk Foods
Cakes, Cookies, Buns (Fresh Baked Goods)
Best meal ever
Almost anything my mother cooks
My Original Recipes
Umm...come back to me
Favorite Restaurants
Cheesecake Factory, Ruby Tuesday's, Red Robin
Foods I hate
If it looks nasty or smells nasty ex. chitterlings

Books
Favorite Books
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?, Black Ice, Krik Krak, Always Wear Joy, Eyes to My Soul
Favorite Authors
Beverly Daniel Tatum, Lorene Cary, Edwidge Danticat, E. Lynn Harris, Eric Jerome Dickey
Favorite Genres
African American, Fiction, Biography, Poetry, Quotes
Favorite Characters
Almost anyone in an E. Lynn Harris or Eric Jerome Dickey Book
Favorite Quotes
"Life is a test, and you're going to get tested."
-Unknown

"Always work hard at being what you should be, not hiding what you are."

"The fact that we are here and living and breathing and walking and talking and able to speak with some kind of intelligence means that we have already survived the trips and the traps and the tragedies of our times.Surviving is what we do."
-Bishop Vashti Murphy McKenzie, first female bishop of the AME church

"If you wonder why I fit in so well here, it's because I worked damn hard to get here. And I know I deserve it."
-Janet Hubert as Vivian Banks on "The Fresh Prince of Bel- Air"

"If you don't define yourself for yourself you'll be shaped into other people's fantasies of you and eaten alive."
- Audre Lorde ala "The Best Man"

"A person can be imperfect and still do great things."
-Dr. Freeman Hrabowski, President of the University of Maryland Baltimore County

"I'm cool with failing so long as I know there are people around me who love me unconditionally."
-Dave Chapelle

"If you don't know then it doesn't matter."
-Brittany Harris
Recent Reads
Sometimes Rhythm, Sometimes Blues Ed. Taigi Smith

Television
Favorite Shows
Inside the Actor's Studio, Law and Order, Run's House Girlfriends, Oprah, 30 Minute Meals, Paula's Home Cooking, Unwrapped
Favorite Channels
CNN, Bravo, PBS, MTV, NBC, Food Network
Favorite Reruns
Law and Order, Judging Amy, A Different World, The Cosby Show
Most Addictive Show
Teammates on ESPN
Favorite Late Night Talk Show
Charlie Rose
Favorite Episode
A Different World: Anyone
Characters you relate to
William on Girlfriends
Favorite Theme Song
A Different World
Show I Secretly Watch
The View
Show I wished wasn't cancelled
Judging Amy , Wanda at Large

Travel
Places I love
Baltimore (on most days), D.C.
Places I've been
St. Louis, MO; Colorado; Chicago, Illinois; Providence, Rhode Island, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Cheyney, Pennsylvania, Deleware, South Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Virginia, Italy
Places to see before I die
Senegal, Ghana, South Africa, England, France, Italy again, Japan, Brazil, Cuba
Dream Vacation
Any of the above with a special person in my life.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Words to Contemplate

The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
- Edmund Burke

It is impossible to talk or to write without apparently throwing oneself helplessly open.
-Herman Melville

Nothing is so easy to fake as the inner vision.
-Robertson Davies

The business of a seer is to see; and if he involves himself in the kind of God-eclipsing activities which make seeing impossible, he betrays the trust which his fellows have tacitly placed in him.
-Aldous Huxley

The visionary denies the truth to himself, the liar only to others.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Though I sit down now, the time will come when you will hear me.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Victory brings obliviousness; defeat, attentiveness.
-Mason Cooley

Friday, August 04, 2006

FlashBack

So growing up I was always a storyteller. I was the go to person for information on a lot of things, most things random. Even before I could read well, I didn't get really good at that until I was almost 7. Yeah, I was a little slow. But even before I could read well, I could understand local news. My early evenings were spent at the knee of my granddad watching local news. I always had to be in the know, and I always could be counted on to give the scoop. One of my Aunt's began calling me "Little Jerry Turner" in honor of a local news anchor. But Jerry had a partner, Al Sanders. So when I saw this video which honored the late local news giant Al Sanders, it made me remember why I love TV News.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

RANDOM BITES

Did anyone see that ridiculous article about the crowded nature of the Senate only elevator on Capitol Hill? Can we say it together now? Hilarious. Or better yet, ridiculous. I see where they feel they deserve some perks or privileges, but you'd think the fact that most of them are millionaires who receive extra spending money would be enough. I'm just saying.

I found the article about the grandmother caring for her grandkinds more compelling and thought provoking. Maybe seeing this will remind people what hardships really look like. I for one am tired of reading the articles which suggest that summertime = restlessness amongst young people, thus resulting in crime and useless activity. I'm young and sometimes restless, but unless the heat makes me delusional you won't see me acting a fool. Have you met my momma? Better yet have you met my grandfather? I understand that young people need jobs, they need education, and they need recreation. But if anyone thinks that being young and restless is a justification for being young and dumb send them to 5017 ummm naw.Let's just say that we all need enlightenment if we don't see the need to teach self-discipline, self-control, and self-respect. If people aren't taught accountability, they will never accept responsibility for themselves. I make mistakes, I do dumb things, but you better know I understood I know what reprecussions can come from acting up or acting out.

Hmmm. I have called myself trying to return to my roots as a writer. I used to love to write. Now I find it more of a chore. What does one do when that happens? How can one find the joy again.

But here's some scribble:
"At a time and place yet to be determined our destiny's will finally collide, finally unite, and finally give rise to something in which we can both take pride. While my mind gives reasons why this can be but an illusion, my heart has implanted in it a divine eye which can see he beauty of our pending reunion and everlasting union. In you I find reasons to live, breath, and strive. Through you my heart learns to mount wings and soar to new heights. Through you I learn the secret t finding contentment."

&

"I call you my ideal because your essence is most real.

There is not one thing about you I would endeavor to change.

That is not my role.

It is my job to respect you for who you are, cherish your individuality, honor your spirit, and nurture the desires within you.

If through you I were to grow more wise, more patient, or more kind than my life will have been made that much better."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

School Dayz

Some days I feel as if I have my future all mapped out, and other days I feel like I'm back at the drawing board. One day I envision myself reporting from a foreign country or perched behind an anchor desk, another day I see myself standing before a jury box or another day I see myself giving tours of a school. I'm going to be a journalist, I'm going to be an attorney, I'm going to be an educator. Some days I feel conflicted, some days I feel as if I'm at fault for having big dreams. Then I realize that I'm fortunate enough to be receiving an education which enables me to even dream of accomplishing just one of those things.

So yesterday I took the day off. It was only the second work day off since I returned from Italy. Gosh it felt good not to have to wake up at the crack of dawn and head downtown to the office. I had almost forgotten what it felt like not to have to answer my cell phone or type an e-mail.

For a few minutes yesterday I watched Oprah with my mom.

It made me think about just what perils really face the young people of today and tomorrow.

Then I found this story, which one of my mentors had told me about before I left for Italy.

If you click the link, be sure to check out the video. There is a particular sequence where Ed Bradley talks about the lottery which is done to see who

Why does it seem that every time we find something that works for children it's only available to a select few. Given the fact that we know that our education system is in crisis, why does it seem we aren't doing enough and aren't motivated to do better?

Sometimes my mind wanders and wonders!