Impossible is Impossible

This blog is my way of reflecting upon life. Life is about living and learning. As I live and learn I’m going to reflect upon this life I lead. Hopefully I'll offer something insightful with my postings. If you learn nothing else from me, know this that “impossible is impossible”.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Wisdom Quotes

Sunday-Men cannot see their reflection in running water, but only in still water. --Chuang Tzu

Monday-Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. --The Land Before Time

Tuesday-What a grand thing, to be loved!What a grander thing still, to love!-- Victor Hugo

Wednesday-Friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever.--Unknown

Thursday-To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful.--Edward R. Murrow

Friday-Listen, learn, change-- David Gergen, editor-at-large for US News & World Report

Saturday-Liberty is not the power of doing what we like, but the right of being able to do what we ought.---Lord Acton

Friday, April 28, 2006

Why'd You Have to Say It Like That?

So, I have this co-worker. The only time we really see each other is on the days when we both work up at the school. When we do see each other, we generally have nice chit chats. There's not ever really a lot to talk about, but we manage. I guess you could say that we enjoy each other's company, but that could be overstating it, maybe just a bit. But at the same time according to some of our co-workers, smiles or laughs can no longer just be innocent. Well, anyways for some reason people have begun to assume that the two of us are in a relationship. No one has explicitly said anything to us, but people give us those looks. Our supers don't let one leave for home without the other. We both know that we aren't in a relationship but sometimes it takes ssome explaining for other people to realize that we're both telling the truth. So one day recently someone finally made a comment.

My co-worker responds,
"He's not my boyfriend, trust me, I have a boyfriend. We're not related, we're not together, we're just friends."

I knew that everything she said was true, but dang. I wanted to ask, " Damn, why'd you have to say it like that?"

Upon further reflection I realize that even if the two of us were both in want of a relationship, which we're both not, it probably wouldn't work.

I think both of us have this ideal, I'm not sure what hers is, but I know what my ideal is right now.

You see I have these working lists which grow and expand, and are changed almost daily. The lists change as I encounter different people who I believe could quite possibly live up to the ideal, or who make me question if I'm too demanding.

Some parts of the list are pretty standard:

Must be attractive. (I have a short attention span, I can't be depended upon to maintain interest if I'm constantly distracted. Call me shallow, call me vain, I call me real. Most people know damn well they're thinking this.)
Must be single. (Don't mislead me. Don't be in that phase where "It's Complicated, I like my life simple.)
Must be grown. (I don't have time to play games, I'm on a mission.)
Must be drug free.
Must be disease free.
Must be kid free. (This is really important, if you're my age).
Must be hang up free. (Learn to let go of stuff, or atleast give me the ability to disprove the notions.)
Must be dead-weight free. (My exes and your exes are not relevant to me.)
Must be of one mind. (Feel free to be crazy and deranged elsewhere).
Must have a college education, or be obtaining one.
Must have a job or something you do to support your own self. (I mean something has to make you not totally dependent on me, no golddigging, partners share.)
Must be respectful of the African-American male. (Please none of that all men are dogs ish. I'm not all men, I'm an individual.)
Must be a good conversationalist. (I talk a lot, please be able to get me to shut up. I really can be a good listener.)
Must be remotely interesting.(See above comment about attention span).
Must be forward thinking. (Please be somewhere on the same page, different paragraphs fine, but same page, please.)
Must like to spend some time at home alone or entertaining. ( I love, love love just getting together for dinner and conversations. I love chips and real dip, and them grape juices which look like wine, cause I don't drink).
Must be interested in African-American culture.
Must be interested in community improvement.
Must like to read.
Must enjoy good books. (Zane is okay, but please read real books.)
Must enjoy good music (Gospel, Hip Hop, R & B, Neo-Soul, Jazz, Funk).
Must enjoy good movies. (See Crooklyn, Love Jones, Hav Plenty, Philadelphia, When Harry Met Sally, Good Night, and Good Luck, Lean on Me, She Hate Me, Crash, Ray)
Must like good TV. (Grey's Anatomy, Girlfriends, Law and Order: Original and Trial by Jury, The View (I love Meredith Viera), The News, C-SPAN, The Food Network, Documentaries)
Must enjoy walks in the park. (Walking is my primary form of exercise, and I love parks, and picnics.)
Must like kids. (I have some little cousins, who I adore.)
Must be sensual. (Don't kid yourself, Luda said it, "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed")

And in making the grade on the above list, it should help her be many of the things listed below.

Authentic- Committed to being her true self.
Beautiful- Not just in physical appearance, but in spirit as well. The latter is hard to measure, but if it's there, you can just tell.
Confident- Believe in herself and her abilities, and be able to back up her words with actions.
Compassionate - Able to understand why helping others is important.
Conscious- Please understand that there are other things going on in the world, aside from us, even though us is what makes us happy.
Dignified- Please know how to balance that next swivel, and finger waving with a softer side.
Driven- Goal oriented and focused on achieving her personal goals and objectives.
Elegance- Please be able to walk the line between sophisticated and simple.
Faithful- Have a desire for a spiritual connection of some sort.
Giving- Able to give of herself, able to share herself with me, and with others.
Honest- Able to connect with me, and not just communicate with me
Humor- A sense of humor is essential. She must be able to make me laugh, and be able to laugh at my jokes however corny.
Intelligent- Please know that I come with required reading, remember that scene from "Love Jones", when they're on the coach in the own worlds (her in photography, he in writing). Well thats up minus them little lovers spats.
Loving- Be able to give me the love that I need, in spite of myself.
Loyal- Be able to be faithful to me and to our relationship.
Patient- Some things don't happen over night, fulfillment sometimes only comes after a wait.
Respectful- Please know that the cornerstone to any relationship with me atleast is respecting me, and my agreeing to respect you for who and what you are, and who and what you can be.

I mean the dealbreakers: be crazy, be unhealthy, be uneducated, be unmotivated, be a golddigger.


You see I have big dreams. I have lots of ideas. I used to have this dream of being a successful 1) attorney, 2) broadcaster, or 3) educational administrator. If you know me you know I'm leaning towards 2, but would be quite good at all three, if I do say so myself.

In my dream I saw myself living in a city like Baltimore, or Philadelphia, or Washington, D.C.

In my dream there was a nice brownstone or townhouse.

In my dream I had a nice whip I always wanted the Infiniti I30.

In my dream if I were an attorney I'd be in the office by 7:30 and out by 6:30, if I were a broadcaster I'd be an early bird up by 3:30 home by 3:30 with weekends off, and if I were an educator I'd be at the school by 8 and home by 6.

I'd have dinner (do some of that 30 minutes or less stuff, so I was eating healthy) with the special someone, catch some TV, listen to some music, read a good book.

I'd be in bed by 10, saving my late nights for the weekend.

On Fridays I'd head up to hear some good music, and eat out.

On Saturday's I'd sleep in, and wake up to do some community service (mentor some young people). I'd have time to go to a museum, a show, or to a local park for some running (HaHa fast paced walking). I'd see my friends (be an entertainer). I'd go to church and then head to brunch. I'd spend some time on Sunday night writing or engaging in some intellectual discussion with the fellas (Kendrick the "Doc", and Gary "The Intellecutal, Professor, Activist".


And I thought recently maybe the lists were too much, maybe the dream was too much, but then I said naw. If I'm working on the self-improvement plan, being the best Christopher I can be, it's out there waiting to be found!

As you can see I had a lot of time to contemplate this, and wrote much of this, when I was at work early for the staff meetings which consist of five minute ramblings which need to be directed to five or so people.

I Can Tell Your Fortune? You can can you?

So yesterday while working at the school one of my kids decided to play MASH. Ya'll know that little fortune telling game which tells you who you'll marry, where you'll live, what type of career is in your future, how many kids you'll have, what type of living arrangement you'll have, and last but not least the car you'll be driving. Now take note: I am set to marry one of my coworkers Ms. H . The kids seem to think since Ms. H is also African-American, since we go to the same school, since she gives me rides to and from work, and that we chit chat, that we're compatible.

Oh here's the complete rundown:

Wife: Ms. H
Location: Chicago
Career: NFL (Whodathinkit?)
Kids: 10 (Whoa now, hey now, um no)
Living: In A Shack (Wit ten kids and a wife, naw ya'll)
Car: Escalade

I told them thanks, but no thanks, that Mr. Nelson will not be getting married.

One of my friends said I need to stop saying I don't want to get married, cause it will happen. At this point I'm like whatever.

It made me think back to this little diddy which took place on MySpace.

Entrapment (For jameil)
Current mood: contemplative
Top 10 Reasons to Protect Yourself Against Entrapment aka Marriage
10. Autonomy: Freedom is no longer guaranteed, in fact freedom becomes virtually non-existent, your life is no longer yours alone.
9. Workers compenstation: You basically just signed up for another full-time job, and the benefits aren't always there. In fact the co-pay goes sky high.
8. People: Isn't the amount of crazy relatives almost guaranteed to double?
7. Outside Investment: Community property, alimony, split bills, blah, blah, blah. Time, resources, money, blah, blah, blah. What's mine is mine, but you can share if you want to.
6. Space: I need me time, personal space, the freedom to be me. Do I really want to share my personal space?
5. Bored: I do need to be entertained every now and again, and please don't bore me, cause it'll get you cut off.
4. Stress: Do I really feel like dealing with individual problems, work problems, and then coming home to deal with a family. You don't escape marriage, the kids maybe, cause they in school, but now we got cellies, PDA's, blah, blah, blah. Will I get a break?
3.Commitment: I mean I'm looking to be a journo, and a television journo at that. I know what commitment is, but my goodness.
168 hours
60 for work
14- for travel to and fro, just in case
56-sleep
We getting kind of low, and I didn't even eat yet.
2. Responsibilities: Look us journos we're like doctors, we're on call. I mean I'm willing to work, but I mean being responsible for other people. I mean I don't know about all that. Having to take other people into consideration when I make personal, and professional decisions, that's a lot to ask.
1. Fun: I heard it ruins the sex life. I mean it ain't the number one, but goodness gracious, it's of grave concern.

Jasmine said:
hahahaha!!

Ni said:
i am so happy you posted this , i do not need to read, the head line says it all , i always tell people i am miserably happy !! I will not say anymore i am sure you fell me and know me by now !!

CIAO
LOVE ALWAYS

Jameil said:
i'll be damned if i kudo that ish. boy! you obviously ain't neva been in love. all those would go out the window. fun?!! you know what i ain't bout to take up all yo space over here. i'm going to copy and paste that and rebutt it on my own blog. carry on. (foolishness)

And our friend Jameil goes on:

Entrapment (for Chris)
Current mood: appalled
Category: Life
10. Autonomy? What the hell do you need that for? That was sarcasm. But you're as free as you want to be. If you want to have autonomy, you'll have it. no one can stop you from that.
9. worker's comp. ok that one's actually kind of funny. the compensation is in the love boo, the quality of life. come on!
8. people. honey i have more than 30 official first cousins, and probably 15-20 play cousins that i've known all my life, 8 uncles, 4 aunts biologically and another God knows how many. I have so much extended family I don't know what to do with them. What's 30 or 40 more?
7. outside investment. foolishness. doubling your assets and splitting the bill... hello????
6. space. who on earth needs that much space? buy a big house. you are not entitled to be w/the person 24-7! geez!
5 and 1. bored and fun. clearly anyone who bores you and you can't have fun w/you shouldn't be friends with, let alone be married to and make a long term commitment to. *rolling my eyes* clearly.
4. stress. but its someone to share your life with. when everyone else in the world is paired off w/someone who knows them like the back of their hand, who are you gonna talk to? your plant?
3 and 2. again, i'm rolling my eyes at you. commitment and responsibility? and the whole job thing? journalism is probably one of the loneliest fields. i wouldn't be surprised if journalism had one of the highest suicide rates. i know that's morbid, but truly. its not something you want to throw yourself into to the detriment of an actual life. is any job?
quit thinking so negatively. you're too young to be that cynical about marriage. fall in love and you will quickly hush up. then i want you to show her this list and watch her face fall. you will rip it up so fast i'll feel it wherever in the world i am producing the today show (lolol. everytime i see someone in london, mexico, whatever reporting, i'm like see??? i need to be the field producer over there!) and clearly w/all the mushy poems and songs over on your blog, i just knew you were a romantic. i'm so appalled! who is this christopher person and where is cnel!!!!????

I'm looking for him. I'm searching ya'll!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Reading the blog of a friend of mine who wrote a post about being called out of her name, because some man's eyes strayed is far too typical. We always blame someone else, when we have to look at ourselves. I wonder why that woman didn't immediately turn inward and think if he'd disrespect me to my face, is this man I care about so much disrespecting me in other instances? Should I stay, or should I go, should not have even been a question. She should have known to walk away and demand more for herself. I am seeing too often that age old problem of a lack of self-esteem, a lack of self-love, and a lack of self-respect. In too many instances we point to the lack of success which is too often seen by black males, but I'm seeing the lack of self-esteem, the lack of self-love, and the lack of self-respect as being what could spell a decline in the success of black females.

I wrote the poem below because my grandmother was once a black girl, my mother was once a black girl, my twin sister was once a black girl, my aunts were once black girls, my cousins were once black girls, and many of my friends were once black girls.

So I hold you up, I lift you up, I raise you up, Black Girls.


Black Girl, Black Girl
by C. E. Nelson
Black Girl,
Black Girl
Your beauty rests in what is above your shoulders
Black Girl,
Black Girl
I cherish your mind, because my very existence was once a vision of your mind's eye.
Black Girl,
Black Girl
You look just like the queens who came before you.
Black Girl,
Black Girl
I honor you and the God you serve
Black Girl,
Black Girl
I learn to love by loving you.
Black Girl,
Black Girl
A diamond in the rough.
Black Girl,
Black Girl
Soon to be, no destined to be a Woman of Destiny, A Woman of Integrity.

Mommy Did you have Sex?

"...they had sex."

"What?"

"Sometimes two people have sex."

I seriously think one of my 6-year-old students then told another 6-year-old student that parents had sex in order to have them. Ok, that's correct, no real problem there. But I was zoned out, so I can't be sure what exactly was said. The next thing I hear:

"Mommy did you have sex?"

This is then yelled 4 or 5 more times to one mother standing 2 feet away with another mother .

The parents:
"What?"
"What are you two talking about?"

Let me be clear once parents are there on the premises in the act of picking up their children, my responsibilities end. The kids know that their parents rules trump my rules. All the stuff they can 't do outside, on the swings, on the playground, it ends when the parents come.

I then plugged my ears to show it was too much for me. One girl giggled.

Then I hear something about
"Two people" when "they really love each other."

Then I heard the kicker:
"______ told me sex is kissing all over."

I wanted to laugh, but it wasn't a laughing matter.

Better for their mothers to teach the daughters.

I knew the day would come one day when sex would no longer be that forbidden word, when one kid would bring it up, I just didn't count on it being my 6-year-olds.

I don't even remember my single mother having a talk with me about the birds and the bees.

HaHa I do remember now.

One time when I was in like the 3rd or 4th grade or sometime around that I borrowed some books from the library. Yes, they were kiddie books, but they had some stuff about sex, more importantly they had pictures. Apparently my cousin and one of her friends thought they were too advanced. The books were confiscated. My mother then decided to embarrass the hell out of me:
"I know you're bodies changing, and I know I'm not a man, so I can't tell you about sex, but do you want ME to get you some books from the library?"

"No Ma," I said bashfully. I do remember being hella embarrassed.

I still can't get over the 6-year-olds. I just thought they were obsessed with planning engagements and weddings, and not sex.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Wise Words

Sunday- "One needs occasionally to stand aside from the hum and rush of human interests and passions to hear the voices of God."- Anna Julia Cooper

Monday-"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect."-Audre Lorde

Tuesday-"The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell." -Zora Neale Hurston

Wednesday- "I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance." - Bell Hooks

Thursday-"Gifted with second sight, we can share our stories ... build coalitions, develop a voice. ... We shall speak until all the people gain a voice."- Lani Guinier

Friday-"Knowledge is the prime need of the hour."- Mary McLeod Bethune

Saturday-"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning." Oprah

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Statute, Portrait, Naw Photo But Why?

As I said earlier in the week, today I had a photo shoot for an award I've been nominated for. Well I finally figured out, or was told rather what exactly this entails.

I'm going to be among several young men and women being recognized as inaugural "Future Leaders of Baltimore." Each year they're going to recognize 15 young people who are considered to be future leaders of Baltimore. We'll be included in an exhibit in the "Founders Room" at a new museum and memorial park being built here in Baltimore. The new museum and park is going to recognize Frederick Douglass and Isaac Meyers. While many know of Frederick Douglass. Not many know of Isaac Meyers, one of 15 co-fiounders of the first African-American shipyard in the entire U.S.

So it's quite the honor, to be included as part of the exhibit.

It's a little funny though because generally you have to be old or dead to be part of a museum.

It's also ironic that the fifteen founders were men, and I was outnumbered today 3-1 by female honorees.

Aiight, that's it. Wise Words tomorrow, have a good weekend.

Oh and my second to last radio show of the semester is tomorrow:

Chris Has Issues
Sunday, April 23, 2006
6pm-7pm
http://www.wloy.org/
Click Listen Now

Edited

I was going to let it go, but it's been on my mind something heavy. When I was down waiting to be let onto the grounds of the Foundation, who is organizing the new heritage site, other honorees showed up. It was drizzling and rainy, and so I had a hood on. So when another honoree, her mother, and little sister showed up they tried the gate where I was sitting, it wasn't open. Then they walked and tried to gain access through another entrance. When they couldn't get in that way, they had to come and wait with me. This woman gave me a look like I didn't belong, and her kids looked clueless. I mean just because I'm a black man in Baltimore, I shouldn't be judged to be up to no good. While I was getting my picture taken, the exhibit curator was talking about all the honorees. She must have talked me up something nights cause the parents were on my jock, yes the one that looked at me like I was bout to jack her included. Why do people judge people on first glance? What was funny to me is that the three African-American honorees there today were enrolled at some of the state's and regions best private schools (formerly in my case), and one fellow nominee and I received dual nominations. I mean that shut her up, but still, shouldn't have had to have my credentials read, for this woman to chill out. Aiight I'm done venting.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

And This Is What We Call A Breather

Current Mood: Exhausted

Currently Listening: Gospel Compliation Provided from Bootleg College Music Download Service
(Top Picks)

Patricia Jacobs- I Told The Storm
Marvin Sapp- You Are God Alone
Kirk Franklin- Looking for You
Israel and New Breed- New Season
Richard Smallwood- Total Praise

Today has been a long day. I woke up at 6:30, couldn't take a shower cause we had no hot water. I was a lil ticked. And so I'm thinking with tuition, room, and board at over $40,000 teachers got me up at 6:30, and the dorms have me with no hot water. I just was not ready for it, that early in the morning.

I left my dorm room at 7:45 without having not eaten breakfast to go and do a story for my News Writing Class. The other do-gooders mostly have on campus beats. Do I get extra credit for waking up early, spending my money, taking public transit (at peak time for the schook kids), and reporting on location. I doubt it, maybe this teacher of mine is the reason I don't want to write for newspapers. I know I want to be a journalist and all, but I am beginning to dislike writing especially for academia. That is sad for me to same I used to write, poetry, plays, short stories, and even called myself starting a book once.

I arrived on location around 8:45 am and conducted interviews with an administrator, and a slew of teachers. Here in Baltimore, we are in the midst of school closings and realignments.

When I think about that it reminds me of the base closings and realignments that some communities underwent not to long ago. Are we really a nation at war? I think so too. It would seem that it's an everyday uphill battle to get a quality education these days. So in essence we're fighting a war on more than one front. I spent over two hours conducting interviews and walking around this elementary school. School board members want to make the now kindergarten through 5 school, a kindergarten through grade 8 school.

Talking to those teachers reminded me of the plight of educators, but particularly urban inner city educators. I said at one point in my article, "Aside from being teachers, teachers must also serve as unofficial doctors, social workers, and psychiatrists." The stories I heard ranged from kids who are being cared for by grandparents, great-granparents, and other relatives, to students on house arrest, to students in the second grade charged with picking up younger siblings from school. Question: Why in the sam-hell should a 7-year-old, be picking up a 5-year-old from schoo? Are parents smoking crack? In some cases sadly the answer may very well be yes. I just have to pray for those kids.

I have mad respect for the teachers at that school. (Disclaimer: I'm an alum) But I was impartial as a journalist. I know about objectivity, fairness, balance, and accuracy.

It just reminds me that I have to continue to shine a light on stories which otherwise might not be told.

I knocked out the article already. I would include it, but I don't feel like copying and pasting it here LoL. Sorry I'm a little lazy right about now.

I have too much to do blah blah blah

Friday 8am Theology
9 am News Writing- Article is due in class.
10 am News Anchoring at Campus Radio-If I can find the time. I may be taking a personal day. Hey, I am the News Director.
11 am Art of Argument- I have to deliver a persuasive argument aka speech.

I'm in the midst of writing the speech on "Reparations" right now. Why I picked the topic one might ask? We were reading speeches, arguments, works from abolitionists, pro-slavery advocates, women's rights activistis, blah, blah, blah. I thought hey we're still in an unequal and unjust world. Why not write about reparations. I hope my argument is convincing and that I get a good grade. My Art of Argument teacher is a hard grader, and she didn't give me a high grade on my last and only assignment.

2:30pm Work with the little kiddies
6:00pm Off from work, going to play the Big Game. If I hit the lotto I'll be able to stop stressing.
7:00pm- 9:00pm Radio Station Office Hours

This weekend:
Saturday:

Photo Shoot for some award I'm receiving, I guess I should reread the letter about my nomination, so I know what I'm being recognized for. It's obvious they haven't seen my latest transcript LoL.

I'll be researching for this Sunday's show (www.chrishasissues.blogspot.com)
Listen in Sunday night 6pm-7pm at WLOY.ORG
I'll be completing a ridiculous amount of assignments for the last week of classes

Saturday and Sunday
Theology- Exam Prep any Extra Credit I May Be Able to Twork
News Writing- Reflection Paper/Final Paper (5 pages), Final Article Revision, Portfolio Compliation
Art of Argument- Ten Page Term Paper on Reparations (10-12 pages) (I do have the books from the library), Exam Prep
Sociology- Deneration Paper (4-5 pages) a look at American Society in 1975 through the eyes of my interviewee
Philosophy- Three 5 page reflection papers on stuff I have yet to understand in Philosophy

Sunday
More of the work from above
Laundry
Hosting My Shows

May 12 can not get here fast enough.

I might actually be over the nerves for Italy, cause whatever is involved it'll be a cakewalk compared to this foolishness.
Now back to blah!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Sometimes You Want to Say Shutup for You Get Foot-In-Mouth-Itis

“My God is a God who wants me to have things,” the singer tells May’s Blender magazine. “He wants me to bling. He wants me to be the hottest thing on the block. I don’t know what kind of God the rest of y’all are serving, but the God I serve says, ‘Mary, you need to be the hottest thing this year, and I’m gonna make sure you’re doing that’.”

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12137215/

And here I go complaining about the commericialism, and materialism of the Christian church and it's ministers. I ain't one to call names, cough, Juanita Bynum, cough. I like her and all, think she has an awesome story, but this joint is over the top. Click link and read the review:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0009F4OW6/103-0703582-7815835?v=glance&n=130

Seems she and Mary are on the same page. Hmm I shall do some Bible study this week.

“His young gigolo-like ways were definitely taking over and he was trying to fulfill many of his childhood TV show wet dreams and forgot about me,” Milian told Rap-Up mag. “He told me that for the entire three years we were together, he was cheating on me — the whole time with different girls, not just one, but different girls.”

Source:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12137215/

Is Nick Cannon harder than he looks? (No pun intended) Let me find it young sir is trying to be a mack.

But then again it was Christina Milian, shorty could have just been dumb. Christina can have me saying I, (new signal "Say I"), My, We, Me, You, all day long if she wanna.

"Jada is a very passionate and caring woman. I believe she's with Will for the children and for her career. She loves her lifestyle and if she came out as a lesbian, it would be all over for her. Her children would be gone and her career. I love Jada more than anything and want to be with her."

Source: http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/04/woman-claims-jada-pinkett-smith-affair_01.html

Some woman in London's "The Sun". I mean this is kind of out the box.

But then last year Harvard students called these remakrs "heteronormative".

"Women, you can have it all - a loving man, devoted husband, loving children, a fabulous career. They say you gotta choose. Nah, nah, nah. We are a new generation of women. We got to set a new standard of rules around here. You can do whatever it is you want. All you have to do is want it.''

Source:http://www.keithboykin.com/arch/001332.html
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=506104


Can I just say that I am not star struck but that the following sites provide me with many a laugh!

http://socialitelife.com/
http://www.crunktastical.blogspot.com/

I'm still tripping off of Mary, they don't call her the queen for nothing! Aww whew atleast I got to laugh today!

Monday, April 17, 2006

"Something New" Raises New Questions and Concerns

I finally saw "Something New" starring Sanaa Lathan via a bootleg. It was a great movie. Made me do a lot of thinking. As someone who spends a great deal of time already working on issues surrounding diversity, multicultural awareness, equity and justice, and other issues, it was definitely thought provoking.
Question 1: Do we place too much weight on developing a certain pedigree, does this pedigree equal a recipe for success?
As was pointed out by her friends, her boyfriend, and her family, Kenya is successful and accomplished. We learn that she is the daughter of a doctor, who attended Stanford and Wharton Business School. Do those facts equal a certain presumption about who she is, and should come to be?
Question 2: Has progress really been made to the degree where we accept people based on merit?
Scene: Kenya (Sanaa Lathan), an African-American woman goes in to meet a client a Caucasian man, her accounting firm is working on behalf of:
Mr. Pinot (Client): Shouldn't we wait?
Kenya: For?
Mr. Pinot: Isn't someone else coming in?
Hmmm why would he not assume that Kenya was capable of doing the job. But isn't it good to see her vindicated a bit later.
Question 3: Do we sometimes create this added burden for ourselves to propel us forward?
Scene: Kenya and Brian talking about work and the issue of race in the workplace.
Kenya: Some of us have to work twice as hard just to stay in the game.
A little later:
Kenya: You have to work twice as hard, just to prove yourself equal.
Question 4: Is the issue of race harped upon too much, do people use the race card too often?
Scene: Brian is frustrated with the constant discussion of race, and asks if they cannot discuss race for the night.
Brian: All I wanted was a night off.
Kenya: That's what being black is about, you don't get a night off.
Question 5: Given the fact that a gap has emerged between African-American females and African-American males, does this pose a risk to the black family?
Scene: Kenya and her friends (all African-American female professionals one a judge, one a pediatrician, and one a banker) talk about the 43.4%(possibly not exact) of black women who are unmarried, and 56.6%(possibly not exact) who are, but how also the percentage of college educated, successful black women, who are unmarried is slightly higher. They are concerned about their marriage probability and success rates.
Question 6: Does class play an even bigger role than race?
Scene: The entire movie we are made to see somewhat indescribable wealth and privilege. We see how as an African-American female Kenya makes more than her white boyfriend, and a whole lot of other people. While education makes money an equalizer, don't we see how money remains an issue when choosing suitable mates?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Word to the Wise

Sunday-
All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.
Baltasar Gracian
Monday-
If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.
Maria Edgeworth, O Magazine, April 2004
Tuesday-
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
Richard Bach
Wednesday-
What worries you masters you.
Haddon W. Robinson
Thursday-
A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha
Friday-
The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
Shakti Gawain
Saturday-
We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
Tobias Wolff, 'In Pharaoh's Army'

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Now That's Dedication

This morning I attended a memorial service at my old high school for a science teacher who died earlier this week. It came as quite a shock to me when I learned that my high school biology teacher passed away. It was almost four years ago that I took summer bio. It's kind of weird because that was the summer my grandmother passed away. As I thought about my experience having Mr. Seigman as my teacher, I couldn't remember whether or not he had been helpful or understanding when my grandmother passed. I wondered about that, because in my mind my feelings for him would have perhaps depended if I felt he had been sympathetic to me. A moment later I realized that my thinking was perhaps a bit selfish. No matter what a person has done to us, we have an obligation as human beings to treat people as human beings as decently as possible.

Attending his memorial service was a way for me to learn more about the man, to pay my respects, and to put into perspective one man's contributions to a community of people. As I listened to the reflections which were offered I thought about the fact that so often what we see are snapshots of who people really are. It isn't unless we develop meaningful relationships with people that we can really get to know them. If we haven't gotten to know a person, we can only rely on the word of those who have built those relationships. I thought back to something my best friend said earlier in the week, and something he has in his away message. He paid homage to this man, his high school biology teacher, by saying thank you. Sometimes we don't take the time to say thank you. We don't say thank you to those who teach us, who lead us, who inspire us, to those who serve as catalysts for the personal change which transform our lives.

It's amazing to me that this man graduated from the very school we attended just five years before beginning his teaching career. It's amazing to me that he spent 37 years teaching at the school that he attended. Why is it amazing? Because it shows dedication to a place which undoubtedly offered him many opportunities. It showed commitment to the students whom he taught practical things such as biology, but also taught impractical things such as courage. My best friend's mother told me how the one lesson she knows her son took away is to "hold on to your convictions." I'm quite sure that it has been passed on to me by KG, my bestey. So for that I can too be grateful.

Isn't it amazing how people can intentionally and unintentionally change lives.

So thank you Mr. Seigman.

Siggy, take your rest.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

One of My New Favorite People

Currently Listening: Anthony Hamilton
Ain't Nobody Worryin'
The Truth
Currently Feeling: Excited for 4:30 when I have some time off, though Easter Break will be spent catching up on some work I kind of neglected in the hustle and bustle of the semester.

Okay so last night I had the privilege of attending a lecture by B.D. Wong aka Dr. George Huang from "Law and Order: SVU", Father Ray Mukada in "Oz", yadda yadda yadda. (Click on the title of this entry for his bio). Wong was here to speak as part of LoCo's Asian American Heritage Month. It was also great because he also talked about sexual diversity, which is something that the college is also focusing on this month. Let me just say, Wong is the man.

I entered the lecture about 20 minutes late because of having to work with my little rugrats, but it was all good. When I entered the hall, Wong was already well into his lecture. Immediately I was drawn in by his charisma, his charm, his openess, and his honesty.

His talk centered on his being a 3rd generation Asian American. He talked about his parent's heritage, their upbringing, and his upbringing. His parents he said, "lived an All-American life during the daytime, but their home life was distinctly Chinese." Through his living in San Fran's Chinatown he learned that the culture of Chinese Americans demanded that you be "doing everything for your family, every action for your family."

Of his overall childhood and upbringing he said, "Somewhere between 4 and 17 we figure out who we are. I was discovering my sexuality...there's nothing mystical about that." Wong's quest to be satisfied personally was impacted by his own thinking, his interaction with his parents, and with larger society. "Culturally my childhood was complicated by my relationship with parents and my relationship with myself."

Wong said early on he recognized his distinctiveness. He said of himself that he was "a creative force" and not necessarily an "intellectual." He spoke of how he reveled in the attention afforded him as a little boy, because he was the only boy who enjoyed performing in everything from church plays to the school choir. His artisitic nature, wasn't readily accepted by his family. Wong later commented, "My parents played the whole doctor, lawyer game with me. You know doctor, lawyer. You know you can even be a foot doctor."

Wong knew he wanted to be an actor. His parents allowed him to study it in college and supported him as he pursued his dream. It wasn't what they wanted necessarily, but Wong knew it was what he wanted.

A lot of what Wong said focused on the search for one's self, trying to find one's true self, without conforming. While it seems a bit cliche, it was interesting to note how his experience relates to that of other people of color. It would seem that at times we are all faced with our own desires, our family's desires, and what the world desires for us.

Wong relayed how he searched for his passion. That passion being acting. He relayed how he searched for who he was as a man, and how he to reconcile his desire with the knowledge that he was a Chinese American man. He also discussed how he arrived at the realization that yes he was a gay man. He talked about being at peace with who he was, as a person, as a whole person. "I'm particularly grateful for in my own lifetime having to be able to figure out who I am."

This reminds me of how much of a journey we are all on. Wong said of this critical time in the lives of the students there, You are at a "juncture between completed dependence and independence. It can be difficult, liberating, scary, important, and non important."

How true that is.

Good to see that Wong has been so successful in his personal and professional lives. He's a father, he and his partner had twins one of whom is surviving and thriving, he has a good relationship with his family. He's done a great job on SVU, he's written a book, been an accomplished speaker, and Hollywood seems to love him.

Like I said, Wong is the man.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Did Ya'll Hear About This

Seeing this story throughout the weekend made me very upset. This 5-year-old boy dialed 911 when his mother was passed out. The dispatcher thought it was a prank call and didn't send help. Now a lot has been made of the fact that dispatchers get a lot of prank calls. That to me is unimportant, because every call should be handled on a case by case basis. How can one so subjectively determine what is an emergency and what is not? It kind of makes you wonder, what would happen if you had an emergency!

M. O'BRIEN: It was a life and death emergency, but a 911 operator dismissed it as a prank call. A young boy of Detroit dialed 911 when his mother needed help, and fast. But instead, he got a scolding and a threat to call police. CNN's Fredricka Whitfield has that.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
FREDRICKA WHITFIELD, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): One afternoon in February, 5-year-old Robert Turner found his mother unconscious in their Detroit apartment.
ROBERT TURNER, CALLED 911: I had felt her tummy, she wasn't breathing. And I had called 911. Tell them that send an emergency truck right now.
WHITFIELD: But the 911 dispatcher didn't take Robert seriously.
DISPATCHER: Emergency 911, what is the problem?
TURNER: My mom has passed out.
DISPATCHER: Where's the grownups at?
TURNER: (inaudible)
DISPATCHER: Let me speak to her. Let me speak to her before I send the police over there.
WHITFIELD: The police were not sent. Some three hours later, Robert called again, with the same result.
TURNER: (inaudible)
DISPATCHER: I don't care. You shouldn't be playing on the phone. Now put her on the phone, before I send the police out there to knock on the door and you're going to be in trouble.
TURNER: Ugh.
WHITFIELD: When police finally arrived at 9:22 p.m., they found 46-year-old Sherrill Turner dead. The family is now planning a wrongful death lawsuit against Detroit Police.
PATTERSON: This was a child calling. There was no laughter and he repeated what he was saying.
TYRONE PATTERSON, VICTIM'S SON-IN-LAW: Everyone should be trained to treat every situation as an emergency. People do not just call 911 as a joke. My mom is passed out. The message was clear.
WHITFIELD: The union that represents dispatchers says about a quarter of all 911 calls are pranks.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That operator could have had five prank calls, kids calling prior to that call and please don't -- think that I'm trying to make an excuse, you know, that was a tragedy.
WHITFIELD: The dispatcher who took the second call, an 18-year veteran remains on the job.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I know that operator. I know she is a very good operator. She is very thorough.
WHITFIELD: Detroit Police say the department is investigating the handling of the calls. For Robert, now six, the rights and wrongs of the case are less important than the sadness he feels.
TURNER: Every time somebody talk about her, I just bust out and start crying.
WHITFIELD: Fredericka Whitfield, CNN, Atlanta.

Wise Words and Meditations

Sunday-
Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface.
-Marianne Williamson

Monday-
And so, we need to look at what happens to us in life on our own little deserted islands in the middle of nowhere and use it as a bridge over and a step up and a leg up to something else. -Bishop Vashti Murphy McKenzie

Tuesday-
Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts.
-Edward R. Murrow

Wednesday-
I can't imagine a person becoming a success who doesn't give this game of life everything he's got.
-Walter Cronkite

Thursday-
To feel valued, to know, even if only once in a while, that you can do a job well is an absolutely marvelous feeling
-Barbara Walters

Friday-
Regardless of race, color or creed, we really are all kin beneath the skin.
-Carole Simpson

Saturday-
I've always tried to stay true to my authentic self. I think sometimes people project things on you, but I'm trying to handle everything that's happened to me with a certain amount of grace, dignity and good manners. You just can't necessarily win all the time.
-Katie Couric

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Poet, Me, Huh? Yeah, I Think

Talking to one of my homies and listening to Anthony Hamilton ( The Truth and Pass Me Over: hear me know instant classics ya hear me, heard me, good). Listening to the soul star, chit chatting, got me feeling a little poetic. Enjoy.

-CNEL

My Dreams

My dreams are full of you
Full of your face
Full of your eyes
Filled up by the depth of your mind
My dreams are full of you
Full of your arms
Full of your legs
Filled up by the thought of you being mine
My dreams are full of you

Untitled *

There are words which go unsaid
My gaze fades to gray
There is this unwritten rule I cannot look, I cannot touch,
I cannot speak your name
There are feelings which go unexposed as minute passes minute
My spirit cries those silent tears
There is a love unspoken, a love not shared

Been Told

Been told no before
Been told to go before
Been told my dreams
were just dreams
Been told no before
Been told to go before
Been told I'd stay where I stand
Been told a lot of things
I chose not to listen
Yet heard the words
The challenge
The dare
To live on
To go on
Been told a lot before
Before they knew who I was

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Well It's About Time

CBS Confirms Katie Couric Anchor Deal
By DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer
NEW YORK - On her 15th anniversary on "Today," Katie Couric told viewers Wednesday she's leaving NBC to join CBS, where she will become the first woman to anchor a network weekday evening newscast alone.

"I wanted to tell all of you out there who have watched the show for the past 15 years that after listening to my heart and my gut — two things that have served me pretty well in the past — I've decided I'll be leaving 'Today' at the end of May," she said. "I really feel as if we've become friends through the years."

Okay so when I got the news this morning while sitting in my News Writing class I was excited. I think it's about time that a woman is given a shot news desk. If we've come so far in our development as a society, what is wrong with a woman delivering the news? If women can do almost everything else, then why not this?

My co-anchor on the campus television show which we just started this semester has gotten sick and tired of me talking about women and broadcast news. Why? Because I have had a lot to say on the subject.

I think ABC is doing itself and Elizabeth Vargas a disservice by constant talk of a co-anchor while Bob Woodruff recovers from injuries he sustained while covering the war in Iraq. Why is it a disservice to ABC and to Vargas? The constant talk of her ineptness, constantly questioning her skills, questioning her experience, and questioning her ability to effectively report the news, hampers her ability to do the job. If they didn't feel she was capable and that she brought a lot to the table why in "Sam hell" did they give her the job? If the shoe were on the other foot, I doubt they'd even question giving Woodruff the seat solo. It's about time that people stop thinking of newswomen as just pretty faces. They are women and they do play other roles in our society. The fact that Vargas is a woman and that she is pregnant shouldn't be held against her. It didn't stop Tom Brokaw or Peter Jennings from being husbands and fathers. How came Katie can do it, Diane can do it, and Elizabeth can't? I wonder if the suits are asking themselves that question.

As I said I am excited about the prospect of having Katie Couric join CBS. I think she's done a great job as co-host of "Today". There's no doubt that there are major differences between hosting a morning show, and hosting the evening news. I think that if anyone can make the transition it's Katie Couric. I admire her, and the path her career has taken. She's a phenomenal journalist, and has done so much in her career. If anyone who aspires to succeed in the broadcast news business wants a reality check, they need only to read up on her story. To have so many people tell you can't do something, and to go and do it anyway. That in my opinion is what life is all about. Life is about daring to dream, taking the risk, and as she herself said following your heart and your gut.

At the end of the day all journalists respect the fact that the job we have is to present the news, to give the information, and let people reach conclusions and judgements on their own time. In broadcast you have a different dynamic, you first have to convince people that you're the right news source. I could sit back and say it's all about the news, not the anchors, not the reporters, not the producers, but who would I be kidding? Broadcast news is one of the most competititve team sports there is, and at the end of the day someone is cheering and someone is tearing, and that's the way it is, on April 5, 2006.

P.S. Big shot out to the Lady Terrapins, my Lady Vols didn't make it to the final game, but I love em still. But that was a game last night. The Lady Blue Devils didn't loose it, Maryland won that game. Those young women played their hearts out, and left it all on the floor. That's what it's all about.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

New Feature: Jam of the Week

My Jam of The Week

"The Truth"
by Anthony Hamilton

Download this joint if you can, you must hear it.

Verse 1

You must feel safe when you fall in love
Equal in, the time you and I share together
Compromise, try and see eye to eye
Cause love's not blind
It knows when you care
Always kiss your lady
Tell her that you love her
Pray and make a baby, that was made of love
Show her she's important
Bring flowers for her
And Build on the truth

Chorus
If you take a lil' walk with me...girl, i'll lead you to the truth
And if you never give up on me....girl, i'll share it all with you
Show directions when I've lost my wayI'll be around to stay, to show you the truth

Verse 2
If you trust me I'll make sure to build you up
Through all your dreams
You and I will grow together
Forget your past
The love you had that never last
God knew your heart, and I was made for you
Girl, I won't mistreat you
Always make love to you
Go to church together
Even get baptized too
We can read the Bible
Play mom meets father
This marriage is true

Chorus
If you take a lil' walk with me...girl, i'll lead you to the truth
And if you never give up on me....girl, i'll share it all with you
Show directions when I've lost my wayI'll be around to stay, to show you the truth

Vamp Out
This love is the truth....
This love is the truth....

Monday, April 03, 2006

'It's Love': Spring Fever - Life & Style

'It's Love': Spring Fever - Life & Style

I found this article written in HU's "The Hilltop" to be quite interesting. LoL I always jokingly say that Spring Fever has hit, the first time we get two or more consecutive days of 70 degree temperatures. LoL hmmm this article has me thinking if I should spend more time on the quad.HaHa.

Short skirts, low cut tops, shorts, sandals, tennis shoes, do they really mean love is in the air? Iono, but it has me thinking.

HaHa it's kind of nice outside now, naw, just joking. I got some work to do, and I'm watching the repeat of Terry McMillan on "Oprah" so that I can laugh!

That's all for now.

We'll talk soon!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Wise Words, Points to Ponder

Sunday-When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.
- Iyanla Vanzant

Monday-I could not run away from the situation. I had become, whether I liked it or not, a symbol, representing my people. I had to appear.
- Marian Anderson

Tuesday-The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry.
-Maya Angelou

Wednesday-Paradise is to be the ultimate instrument, fulfilling God's desperate intent that we love each other.
- Ruby Dee

Thursday- I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.
- Katherine Hepburn

Friday-Dreams have helped me to live.
- Anais Nin

Saturday-Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
-Zora Neale Hurston

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Sometimes I Feel Like........

So yesterday I went out on my first date in a long time.

Let me describe for you all the woman I got to go out on a date with.

She is beautiful, caring, compassionate, determined, geniune, giving, honest, humble, intelligent, and loyal.
She is committed to her faith in God.
She is committed to her family.
She is committed to her true friends.
She has a great sense of humor.
She has a giving spirit.
She is a rarity among woman, she is my mother.

L Elly (6:32:35 PM): i dont have a life remember
stormyc14 (6:33:43 PM): lol u have more of a life than me........lol i went on a date last night
L Elly(6:35:11 PM): whoa...
L Elly (6:35:17 PM): hwo often does that happen
stormyc14 (6:36:11 PM): lol i went to the movies wit my mother
L Elly(6:37:16 PM): WOW...ok nvm

I enjoyed capping off my week by catching a movie with my mom. My Friday had already been busy. Yesterday I was up by 7:30, had a test in my 8am class, a 9am class, a break to head to the campus radio station, a 11am class, time to change for work, work for 3.5 hours, time to run back to the dorms, and head downtown for the 7:30 show.

My day was packed and quite honestly I could have spent my Friday night sleeping, but I was glad I decided to spend it with my mother. The time before and after the movie gave us time to catch up face to face. I have always marvelled at my mother's wisdom, and enjoy our conversations. Even on those occassions when she and I don't see eye to eye, she gives me food for thought. I know it's hard for her to have raised me to be such an independent young man, and then to allow me to gradually become independent. I am my mother's son, she nurtured me and provided me with a sense of self, a sense of whose I am (God's), a sense of who I am, even greater a sense of who I can be. She helped convey to me the importance of a geniune love of learning, a love of writing. She continually conveys to me the importance of family, because as has been said you have the power to choose your friends, but not your family. I am most delighted that she has allowed me the freedom to exist and to seek to find out who I am as an individual.

After getting back from the movies I checked the e-mail and hopped into the bed.

This morning I was up at 6:45 to wait for my mother to bring me some much needed groceries. When she came at 7:30, and I carried the bags to my room, one of the custodians asked if I "bought the whole store?" I replied, "My mother did the shopping, and when mothers do it for you, they take care of you."

This morning I went to one of my alma maters St. Ignatius to help with their Higher Achievement Program the first of a two step process which enrolls young boys in a rigorous school which helps prepare them for college prep high schools. The first step requires two hours every Saturday from February- April for students to be tutored in language arts and math. The second step requires summer school for a month where even more tutoring and assessments can take place. I was a St. Iggy student from '97-00, going to school from August to May from 7:30-5:00, attending a two week summer camp, and four weeks of summer school. I know now that I didn't just enroll in a school, I accepted a new way of life. It was hard, but it was worth it. I have been helping out two Saturday's a month where needed tutoring, and helping with some administrative duties.

After I finished for this Saturday I headed back to campus where my friend picked me up and we headed to the mall. We ate at Chick-Fil-A, shopped at Changes, visited a few shoe stores, and Barnes and Noble. I dipped a little into the Italy fund, and picked up a few shirts, and some jeans, which I have yet to try on.

When I arrived back I talked to my mom on the phone, one of my aunts, and I talked to my best friend whose at WashU about taking the MCAT in two weeks, caught up with another one of my friends who attends WashU in St. Louis, and talked to my friend TWin.

Now I'm about to go do a two hour shift at Relay for Life, and play DJ, and play music.

Tomorrow I have to do laundry, write up the script and research for "Chris Has Issues" the public affairs show I host, come up with a play list for "The Coolout" the show I DJ, attend a production meeting for campus TV, attend a weekly staff meeting for the radio station, and do some homework.

Next week will be busy.

Next weekend I'm supposed to head back to St. Iggy, go to the Black Student Union fashion show here on campus, and attend the Gospel Choir concert at my alma mater if I can find a ride.

Tis my life, and I guess I am enjoying it!