Happy Holidays All

After seeing the first of my grades posted. I called my friend Jose to counsel me. Jose suggested I take a sabbatical. Wise, wise Jose. See, all my friends are super smart and wise beyond their years. That's the common denominator between my young friends and older friends.

My friend Jose Cuervo and I are on sabbatical.

We may return next week.

We may return after the New Year.

Who knows?

Just know that vacationing with Jose is the closest I'm getting to Mexico, this Christmas.

Happy Holidays to all.

:-)

Dueces,
C

Funny

I'll Miss It

Today was my last day ever as an Extended Day Counselor.

For two and a half years (minus summers) I have gone 3 to 4 times a week to work at a local private school.

For me it was more than just being a babysitter.

I've tried my hardest to be a disciplinarian, a mediator, a facilitator, a teacher, a tutor, a friend when one was needed, a listener when one was needed, a talker when one was needed.

I always did my best to just be their, to be fully present.

So times I got it wrong, other times I got it right.

Often I was called "mean" but when I pressed them they acknowledged that I was mostly always "fair".

I'll miss the young one's.




There's something to be said about their honesty, their forthrightness, their lack of fear, their belief in their invincibility, and above all when I was able to see they believed in me.




So when one of my bosses reminded the 1st and 2nd graders that when I left they wouldn't see me for a while. I almost cried for real. The eyes got misty. A few tears came. But then I manned up. I couldn't go out like that!

As I have come to realize recently I'm much more attached and more invested in some things than I originally thought.

The experience as hard as it was, as frustrating as it was, I can truly say it was a blessing.

An Update on Me

Last night I spent a few hours talking to my buddies Matt and Zach. The three of us were roommates this past summer when we interned at a television station in Illinois. Those guys are hilarious. We're all so different but yet we're so much alike. There are few people who can make me push aside the things I am doing, the things I should be doing, or things I want to be doing, to spend time talking on the phone. These guys make the cut.

Matt (the one in the black shirt) makes the cut because he refers to himself as "The Italian Stallion" occassionally wears his hair slicked back so he looks like a member of the mob.

Then drops gems like this:

They were stoners.
And you know I know a stoner when I see one.
-Matt G.

Then there's Zach (the one in the blue shirt). Zach has a crazy sense of humor and perhaps an even crazier laugh. He's well remember for this quote during our internship. When writing teases (those things anchors read when we tell you why you should keep watching "Coming up..." we were always told to be punny and play on words. So once someone used a pun out loud and Zach responded:

That was a pun not intended in a pun based atmosphere.
-Zach G.

Okay so maybe you had to be there.

So anyways I'm nearly done fall semester 2007. Nearly done my seventh semester of college. I have one more final, a take home in Sociological Theory. The only reason I didn't drop that doozy is because I love the professor. I detest take homes though I swear you stress out and put more into it than you would a regular in class final.

There's one thing that is to be said about the finals period. When I don't feel like studying I always have something "productive" I could be doing. I've been using the study breaks to catch up on what my friends have been doing.

So big ups to all my super successful friends, because in being so successful, they make me look good.

Big ups to Ashley our fave reporter at Newsweek who was recently featured on MSNBC.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/22283443#22283443

Big ups to Afi who is now a blogger for BET.com

blogs.bet.com/lifestyle/vitalsigns

I love having super successful friends, they give me something intelligent to talk about.

Super successful friends also inspire you to up your game.

I'm beginning the job application process.

It's crazy I've had multiple people mention non-journalism related gigs to me, and no journalism related gigs. It's making me a tad nervous.

I plan to bust out the resume tapes over winter break and work to get packets together so I can blow people away come March.

So that said I will leave that stress for another day.

I'm soooooo ready for break. I need a break from the campus grind. I need a break from some of the people. Why am I always that guy? That guy you call to vent. That guy whose supposed to entertain you. That guy that keeps you company. I so need to make myself unavailable for some people, mainly crazy ass college women. I'm thinking of a self-imposed sabbatical from 12-21 until after the New Year. This would mean not doing diddly squat for anybody. I might just need to take some time.

Words of the Week

Sunday- “We are not powerless in the struggle to determine our fate.” –Earl Graves

Monday- “There’s nothing sweeter and more precious than the secrets buried in our history.” Walter Mosely

Tuesday- “You don’t have to think about doing the right thing. If you’re for the right thing, then you do it without thinking.” – Maya Angelou

Wednesday- “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” -Aristotle

Thursday- “Love is a core value.” –Dennis R. Tesdell

Friday- “Dream the dream onward.” Carl Jung

Saturday- “The dreamers are the saviors of the world.” -James Allen

STUCK IN MY HEAD

Why do I have this song stuck in my head?



I don't do no two steppin' but I can do some drinkin.

Maybe someone's going out tonight, I could use a celebration of week one of finals being over.

As for finals after today 3 down, 2 to go.

Journalism and Film Take Home: Check
Sociology of Crime and Criminals: Check
American Politics: Pending
Copy Editing: Pending
Sociological Theory: Pending

Have a great weekend, I will be doing something to enjoy mine, I hope.

:-) -CNEL

A Revelation of Sorts...

So here's how it happened.

I logged on to MySpace, and saw that my cousin had updated her MySpace profile. I clicked on that joint, and went to her pictures. There she had new images of her precious godson Peace, and yes that's his real name. I sat there clicking on picture after picture seeing everything from this little man's sonogram, to him being held by his mom, to him riding the book my cousin bought for him.

Looking at this beautiful little boy made me think of the woman who gave birth to him. Peace is definitely his mother's son. He has her skin the color of a sugar cookie, he has her eyes, he even has her smile. THOUGH I SWEAR I DON'T WANT KIDS. Seeing him made me fall in love with him. Seeing him made me fall in love with his mother, again.

"Searching my mind, trying to figure it out
And thought I was happy but I'm having some doubts
Think I found the answer and I know I must confess
I'm still in love with my ex"

So that's my revelation of sorts I think.

Huhlarious

Intern Edition 2.0

So earlier today I had an interview for an internship.

I got the internship, pending the results of a drug test. I hope maybe its blood work and not a urine test. This may sound weird but I cannot urinate on demand. Anytime I've gone to the doctor's it's been a no go. Once they sent me home with the cup and told me to bring it back in a zip lock, no joke.

But back to the original subject of the post.



The internship is at the same television station where I had my first internship 4 years ago. This time though it's different. I'm older, a bit wiser I like to think, and have a better understanding of the business. The things I can do now I think can possibly make a difference in how one station reports the news, and what one station reports in the news.

I'll keep you posted.

I Should Be Sleep

I wasn't even on duty.

I had planned to go to sleep mad early.

My friend from NY called to talk. We talked.

My fellow RA called to go to Midnight Breakfast.

I went with her to midnight breakfast on our way back we busted up/raided this gathering, and here's the result.



This is me after documenting six people for two recycling bins and a trash can full of empties. Lesson #1: Don't be loud dumbies, don't use a friggin strobe light like its the Bat Signal it draws attention to your room, don't have a hallway which smells like a local pub dead giveway.



This is my pants after I slid down a hill not once but twice after escorting the room's occupants to a dumpster to get rid of all the mess. Lesson #2: We make you pull out all the alcohol, pour it out, and throw all the empties in the dumpster.

SIDEBAR: ALSO IT PAINS ME TO SEE GOOD LIQUOR DON'T THE DRAIN HAHA, I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT SOUTHERN COMFORT TASTES LIKE.




This is why I am not a fan of a majority of freshman cause they put me in difficult positions. Lesson # 3: You make me run up steps and block a doorway I will remember your names and your faces.

I'm so not a fan of these spoiled, arrogant, uninformed, non-charming kids right now, it's exam time, lay low and wait to do your dirt at home under your parent's roofs.


Reasons I turn in early
a) throwup on walkways irks me
b) scantily clad kids irk me, especially when the heffas ain't that cute
c) people who are intoxicated when I'm not irk me, HEY I FEEL LEFT OUT
d) the possibily of writing someone up for noise irks me, and strikes me as being petty
e) the war stories I hear from my fellow RA's reveal T.M.I. how about multiple reports of someone getting it on in the middle of a dance floor at the local chill spot, a reason why I don't congregate with certain LoCo elements, that's beyond nasty, and trashy

So now that I've been up 1 to 2 hours after my desire downtime. I think a liquor store run may be in store after my meeting tomorrow. Shhhhhhhh! Everyone needs a reward and everyone needs to reward themself in their own way.

I'm only slightly kidding.

Wish me luck on my interview and on my finals, por favor.

I know someone's thinking he's blogging and not sleeping. Blogging keeps me from going off, as does sleeping. So, sleeping is next.

Nite.

Choices

The older I get the more I realize life is about choices, and there's nothing else which really matters.

It's ultimately the choices we make which dictate in large measure who we decide that we are at any given moment, and its those same choices which dictate who will be and where will stand at future moments.

Last week there was a debate on campus about the conservative and liberal philosophies when it comes to dealing with the poor. Yeah, that's what counts as fun conversation at a Jesuit school. I'm all for difficult conversations, because sometimes the most difficult are the most important.

Conservative: Those who are poor are somewhat responsible for their condition and shouldn't always rely on others to help them up and help them out.

Liberal: Those who are poor need our assistance, and we as more fortunate persons are obligated to serve. ( Most Jesuit institutions count it as their mission to teach their students to become "Men and Women For Others" because everything goes back to needing to be connected to A.M.D.G. (Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam) translated means (For the Greater Glory of God) even if I didn't have it memorized three years of middle school Latin might still have gotten me to that point.)

I won't even endeavor to debate those two positions at this time, maybe later. I had enough time listening to the speakers last week. I found flaws with both arguments.

I will say that one speaker's words did resonate me. She was a philosophy professor who talked about the importance of learning "Ethics". She said that once upon a time at fine liberal arts colleges across the country, Ethics was taught in the senior year, and by the college president. She said it was deemed so important because the senior year is the final moments when students are deciding, "Who they are, who they want to become, and what they will do to help others." She went on to say is that the importance of learning Ethics is that Ethics teaches one to live morally and how to live rightly. Ethics also is the last bit of yourself which forms an important part of your identity. Ethics is also a lens through which we should make a lot of life's more important decisions.

So there goes another thing I have to think about when making choices.

The Number of Completion

So they say 7, 7 is the number of completion, so here are 7 Random Facts since I was tagged by MiMi So consider this me being COMPLETELY CANDID. That is all...

1. I do not like animals cats, dogs, or others.
2. I am not a huge fan of grammar, hence why I don't know the grade I'll get in my Copy Editing course.
3. I love Peanut Butter and Jelly on toasted bread or toasted bagels. Yum.
4. I used to want to become a federal judge so I can stay at one job for forever, and not have to fill out job applications.
5. Often while in class or just about anywhere random music pops into my head everything from bump (the music they play when you watch the news), to gospel (songs LoCo's gospel choir sang), to random songs from the 90's.

SIDEBAR:


6. I detest crushes but I have a lot of them.
7. A lot of my friends around my age (21) and older (25 and over crew) are runners, and I want to try it but three things are preventing me from doing so a) I'm out of shape, b)the weather is turning muy mal, c) I'm afraid of how I look when I run because apparently I waddle when I walk.

Almost Time to Bid Farewell

So in a few weeks I will stop working as an After Care Counselor.

I've been at the school since the day after I started my sophomore year of college. Fingers crossed I graduate in May.

Until now, I didn't realize I would miss my little rugrats. I didn't realize I'd miss some of the co-workers. There's a few that need me to say peace out to them before I hurt their feelings.

At the school I have a reputation. Quite frankly I'm the "resident hard ass" everyone knows I'm firm but fair, though most kids also say I'm a big teddy bear. My boss knows, parents know, the kids know I keep control. It's funny because a lot of kids avoid me because they see me as the disciplinarian but when they need someone they run to me too. It's kind of funny.

I smile at the thought of the parents who have approached me in the last few months to say:

"My daughter loves you."

"My kids are always talking about you, they always say your whole name "C NEL"."

It's a step up from my first year when a few kids asked their parents if I could come over for play dates? Umm you see me from 3 to 6 three days a week, alright. Thanks.

Then the other day I was so flattered by the little tikes. On Friday morning I worked some OT. I don't get up until 11 normally but had a 7 a.m. wake up call to go help with the 2 and 3 year olds.

Before my day was done a little 3 1/2 year old had said to me,

"Chris, I like your pants."

"Thanks Sarai," I said.

"Your pants are beautiful," she then said.

Then there was 2 1/2 year old Zachary. He's the smallest one there but he has a lot of heart. The kid knows no boundaries until I tell him. But apparently he liked me cause he would come climb on me and sit on my lap and be still if only for a few minutes.

When I left for the day he screamed out to get my attention, when I walked back over he wanted a hug.

I smiled for the rest of the day.

They were definitely more exciting than my 1 p.m. politics class.

Then I'll miss my boss who is so chill. Hence our random e-mail exchanges:


Boss Lady:“You can definitely use me as a reference (despite your questionable behavior yesterday!). I think you'll do a great job whatever you decide to do (unless it is working with women, in which case you may need some therapy to rid you of your aggression towards women. Haha.”


Me:“I don't think I need therapy just to not have a crush on a co-worker
LoL. There was really one "insert colorful adjective" in the room.
Generally speaking however using "colorful language" allows me to get
over them, and they sure as heck quickly get over me.”


Boss Lady:“You're funny. Do you need me to play matchmaker and get you a date? I've been know to fix people up - two people I fixed up are getting married this summer... they met at my wedding!”


Me: (In My Head)
PUMP THE BRAKES. I’M ANTI-MARRIAGE OR ME ANTI-MARRIAGE FOR ME. ONE OF MY FRIENDS ALREADY TOLD ME TO PUT 11-11-11 ON MY CALENDAR AND TO GET A G/F BY THEN CAUSE I’D NEED A DATE TO HER WEDDING. I CAN DO THAT.
THEN A CO-WORKER GOT ENGAGED ON WEDNESDAY. SHE’S A SENIOR TOO. I WAS TOO HAPPY FOR HER TO TELL HER TO STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON THOSE LIKE ME, WHO ARE ALSO SENIORS.


Me:“So like Anna's a senior and she got engaged?
I'm like am I behind the 8 ball.
Yea I kind of have a crush on Alexis, but it's one of those love-hate
things.
LoL.
I don't know maybe something will pop off before May. HaHa”


Boss Lady:“Yep you are behind the 8 ball. You'd better get your butt in gear if you ever want to be married. The window is closing fast...hahaha. Alexis Nelson. I like the sound of it. :)”


Me:“LoL geez I'm only 21, for now I like window shopping.
Haha. Alexis Nelson never put the two together.”


Boss Lady:“window shopping. i like that.”



We have a few mutual friends cause for some reason I have older friends haha. Like for real why are all my friends younger than me or older than me?

Words of the Week

Sunday- “Your world is as big as you make it.
I know, for I used to abide
In the narrowest nest in a corner,
My wings pressing close to my side.”
-Georgia Douglas Johnson

Monday- “It matters less what you acquire than what you endure to acquire it.”
-Buck O’Neil

Tuesday- “We have it in our power to convert the weapons intended for our injury into positive blessings.”
-Frederick Douglass

Wednesday- “ The thing which has been the secret of whatever I have done is the fact that I have been able to earn a living by doing the work which I wanted to do and work that the world needed done.”
-W.E.B. DuBois

Thursday- “One’s work may be finished some day, but one’s education never.”
-Alexandre Dumas, pėre

Friday- “We must rebuild our communities, but first we must rebuild our minds.”
-BeBe Moore Campbell

Saturday- “I’m afraid all the time …. But none of {my} fears rule my life.”
-Queen Latifah

T.G.I.F.

This week has truly been a whirlwind. I've spent a lot of time catching up on work.

If you don't already know, I love to travel.

I love to travel even more when I am travelling with a purpose.

Last week my purpose was to participate in a diversity conference up in Boston. The experience was great. It was my second year attending as an adult and it's always reaffirming. This year it was like a full circle moment because I was joined by a)one of the students I mentored and b) a friend I met at the same conference six years ago.

The only thing is I missed four days of school, so this week I had to play catch up, because our final day of classes is Monday. That's followed by a study day and then the exams period.

In a few weeks I'll be heading into the final semester of my college career.

It's a bit surreal.

The only thing that stands between me and being a spring term senior are exams.

My exams start next week.

In addition to that I have an interview for one of the three internships I applied for, for the spring. I was a bit disheartened because I hadn't heard back from any of the stations I applied to, but thankfully I got a call today. Hopefully I beast em in my interview on Tuesday.

Talk to you soon.

-CNEL

Birthday Suit

Uh Don't Have Time For This

Damn it.

I really do not have time for this.

I need to be finding a J.O.B.

So in the past two days a few of my fellow '08ers have accepted Teach for America positions, another friend got called up with a staff accountant position in NYC yesterday. Everyone's asking me what's up with your life after graduation? Uh I don't know.

Then I go back to work and she's there.

We aren't supposed to be talking.

We were supposed to sever all ties.

I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall.

Today the following discussion took place:

Her: What was yesterday?

Me: December 3

Her: What was yesterday?

Me: Monday

Her: What was yesterday?

Me: Monday, December 3

Her: What else happened yesterday?

Me: It was your birthday.

Her: Why didn't you write Happy Birthday on my Facebook wall?

Me: Because we aren't supposed to be talking.

Her: So, you can't even write Happy Birthday?

Me: No, we aren't supposed to be communicating with one another.

Her: So, you can't?!

Me: Happy Belated Birthday.

Thenn that damn smile came.

That smile is enough to make my heart smile.

Though I'm perplexed as to why it mattered so much what I hand't made time to do on Facebook.

Is it that serious?

So now I'm tempted to buy her a gift certificate which will help when Victoria Secret's annual sale roles around.

Or I could bake her the cookies she requested if someone loans me a baking sheet.

Or I could ask her does she know what makes up a birthday suit?

FOOT IN MOUTH ITIS

So while in the Beantown my colleagues and I had dinner at Morton's.

I ordered the crab cake BLT which was delish.

So when the waiter put down the wrong meal I did something really ignorant.

I made a sound that is often heard on game shows. It's the incorrect answer noise "ERRRRRNT" and I then said "Wrong" as I looked down at my plate.

I don't know what came over me.

Except to say that I often do that as a way of being funny when I don't agree with someone or don't appreciate something they've done. It's really intended to be a harmless joke.

One friend apologized on my behalf, as I instantly began laughing out of embarrassment.

My other friends who were sitting near me immediately burst into laughter.

I then tried profusely to apologize.


Then today at work we were supposed to switch shifts so I said to a co-worker Malik, "Go tell them heiffers I said come outside cause it's their turn."

Do you know ol boy went in and quoted me verbatim.

Two seconds later the big boss gets on walkie.

"Chris I heard you're out there referring to your female colleagues with some choice language."

I was dumbfounded.

"Ummm. Uh. I think that means I have to tell Malik about discretion. I didn't tell him to say that to everyone ... I didn't tell him to repeat me exactly. I just chose to use some colorful language," I said.

"I think all your language is colorful," the big boss said over walkie.

"Agreed," I said.

Embarrassed as hell. Shit, I thought. I have two weeks left and I need her as a reference. LoL.

But apparently she has a sense of humor because a) I wasn't fired b) apparently she laughed both times Malik said it c) apparently she stood laughing watching from a window as I stopped dead in my tracks.

So I'm just going to keep my mouth shut for a while.

The cold weather must be getting to me.

Words of the Week

Sunday-"We are all getting up today looking to receive something. But I say unto you concerning life --- look to give not to get. Don't look for a blessing, look to be a blessing to someone. Giving comes before getting." -Rev. Run

Monday- "We are all born into different circumstances, and yet our concerns are mostly the same, at least at the core: we all want self-respect, self-reliance, and self-indulgence." - Montel Williams

Tuesday- "I have observed a simple fact about the influence of books. Students who excel academically, read extensively." -Dr. Ben Carson

Wednesday- "Sometimes we need to fuse our lives again with those people who seem at times to be antagonists." -Ray Bradbury

Thursday- "The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison

Friday- "Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself." - Richard Bach

Saturday- "Everything is practice." -Pele

Perception vs. Reality, Intentional vs. Unintentional Acts

Currently Watching: "The Inkwell"

So, I spent the last six days or so in New England at a diversity conference. So yes in case you were wondering the trip was about more than free food and free booze. I chose to highlight those things because at the time a) I didn't have time to get all deep, b) I really did enjoy not eating through use of my meal plan, c)I do enjoy a good drink every now and again.

Now however I'm ready to get deep.

I first got "involved" with diversity back as a sophomore year in high school. In reality though I have always been involved with diversity, because I've always been different. My mother says to me now that I am a contrarian. She says, "You always tell me what people are doing and then you tell me what you're not going to do." That's could be a good or a bad thing but in reality independence, confidence, and the ability to be self-challenging are very important.

A lot of the talks over the course of the week revolved around the notion of perception versus reality. Perception - what is thought to be true, but not necessarily true. Reality- what is thought to be true because it has been proven true.

Then we talked about language. In order to really talk about diversity it's important that important things don't go unsaid. The things that go unsaid sometimes hold as much if not more power than the things which have been said.

For me experiences like the conference are liberating. Though I'm still not completely able to suspend judgment I understand why it's necessary to get over judging, and while it is sometimes a problem.