Racist, Subversive, Misunderstood Poet?

As I watched a story about a controversial 7-year-old New York poet on CNN's "American Morning", I was struck by something the young child said. She herself posed a question to the reporter interviewing her,"...I'm very young to be a racist, would you say?"

Little Autum rasied an interesting question, when can one become a racist? I work with children and wouldn't even dare pretend to know. If I do find out I'll let you all know.

Read up on it, and speak up on it. (Leave a comment)

A pic of Autum is at the first link!

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
AUTUM ASHANTE, POET: I try my best to speak the truth instead of like lollipops and candy and stuff.
(END VIDEO CLIP)COSTELLO: Ah, but depending on who you ask, this seven-year-old poet's either a child prodigy or a racist. Her story just ahead on AMERICAN MORNING.(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
COSTELLO: There is a poet here in New York who's causing a whole lot of controversy. Some say she's a racist. Some say she's inflammatory. But the one sure thing you can say about her is this, she's seven-years-old. Jason Carroll joins us now with a story of Autum Ashante.
JASON CARROLL, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Yes, just seven-years-old. And another thing you can say about her, she's definitely a very bright seven-year-old girl. But even at her tender age, Autum has strong opinions about her work. She told me the truth hurts. Autum's critics say her version of the truth is also offensive and racist.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
AUTUM ASHANTE, POET: I am misunderstood by many.
CARROLL, (voice over): Most girls her age are still learning to read and write. But seven-year-old Autum Ashante is recording her spoken word poetry CD.
AUTUM ASHANTE: I am the mighty black woman.
CARROLL: She has already performed at the Apollo Theater.
AUTUM ASHANTE: I said do not pollute (ph) our God (INAUDIBLE).
CARROLL: And on black entertainment televisions, Hurricane Katrina relief telethon. Critics are calling her a child prodigy, praising her socially conscience poems. But now she's defending herself against charges she's a racist.
AUTUM ASHANTE: I mean, I'm not a racist and I'm very young to be a racist, wouldn't you say?
CARROLL: But students at Peekskill Middle School and High School in New York were offended by her poem titled "White Nationalism Put You In Bondage." The offense, Autum referring to Christopher Columbus, Charles Darwin and Captain Henry Morgan as vampires.
AUTUM ASHANTE: Pirates and vampires like Columbus, Morgan and Darwin.
CARROLL: What did you mean by that?
AUTUM ASHANTE: Because they robbed, raped and murdered our people.
CARROLL: Autum's attempt at raising black awareness did not end with just a poem. It began when she told all the black students in the multi-cultural audience to stand while she read the "Black Child's Pledge," which was originally created by a member of the Black Panthers. She told all the white students that it wasn't for them. That they should sit down.
ALICIA PUCCI, PEEKSKILL H.S. STUDENT: It was a little shocking at first. A seven-year-old telling us to sit down.
CARROLL: The school's superintendent sent apologies after students and parents complained. JUDITH JOHNSON, SUPERINTENDENT, PEEKSKILL S.D.: We're stunned by the fact that this is continuing to represent a story in newspapers and on television. It's not a story for us anymore.
CARROLL: But Autum continues to be the subject of editorials and radio talk shows. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You want to go to Africa? I will personally purchase your airfare!CARROLL: Many of Autum's critics believe her father is behind her words.
BATIN ASHANTE, AUTUM'S FATHER: Put your answer there.
CARROLL: Autum, who is home-schooled, says she wrote the poem after being inspired by a documentary. If a white student stood up and said that this is for white students only . . .
BATIN ASHANTE: (INAUDIBLE) the circumstance. If it was under the same circumstance.
CARROLL: Let me finish the question. Let me finish the question. Her father, Batin, just off camera, interrupted several times.
BATIN ASHANTE: Don't speak on that one. And I'm an offshoot of a soccer parent. We just do poetry and theater.
CARROLL: Batin says he teaches his daughter, but does not tell her what to write. What do you teach Autum about tolerance?
BATIN ASHANTE: We -- tolerance is -- tolerance. We are here with no power in America. We are tolerance.
CARROLL: Even people without power, though, can be intolerant.
BATIN ASHANTE: We're not intolerant of who? I don't want you to take this story here and try to turn this thing into that she's being taught here at home because that's not what we about here. We are spiritual beings.
CARROLL: Despite the controversy, Autum is, at times, a typical seven-year-old.
AUTUM ASHANTE: Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Hey, girls.
CARROLL: Except when it comes to defending her poem on white nationalism.
AUTUM ASHANTE: I'm going to continue saying that poem mostly until I die.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
CARROLL: Strong willed little girl. Contrary to published reports, Peekskill school officials say Autum was not banned after her performance. In fact, they say they would have her back, but only if they had a chance to screen her poetry first and, if there was some sort of a chance for Q&A following the reading of her poem.
COSTELLO: Oh, and I have a lot of questions for you.
CARROLL: Oh, I'm sure you do.
COSTELLO: Oh, I do.All right. She mentions Charles Darwin, Christopher Columbus in her poem.CARROLL: That is correct.
COSTELLO: Not many seven-year-olds know who Charles Darwin is or what he did. CARROLL: That is correct.
COSTELLO: I mean, who is writing these poems? Is it her or does her father help her? CARROLL: Well, I asked her father about that. He says he helps her with punctuation. He says that he shows her all sorts of books and documentaries. That she comes up with the ideas herself. I'm not a parent, but I think a lot of parents would argue that in terms of -- they do influence their children whether they mean to or not.
COSTELLO: Well, like when you were asking the child a question, he was in the background telling her not to answer.
CARROLL: He's definitely protective of his daughter. He says he's overprotective given that there have been threats against her since she read this poem and what not. But, you know, I find it -- this is a man who definitely challenges his daughter. He says he doesn't influence his daughter. But, once again, you know, he is a parent and I think it's hard for some parents not to influence their children.
COSTELLO: Jason Carroll, an interesting, fascinating story. Thank you very much.

For cute pics and more info about the little tike visit below:

http://educationwonk.blogspot.com/2006/03/autum-ashante-child-prodigy-or.html
http://autumashante.exploretalent.com
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/michelle/malkin031506.php3

Meditation on the Necessary

"The Four Components"
He moved me intellectually everytime we argued,
He moved me emotionally everytime he entered a room,
He moved me physically with a stroke of his hand,
He moved me spiritually the first time I heard him pray."
-I so copied this from someone's Facebook profile, she was so wise

And so I decided to write a little diddy of my own:
The Main Ingredients
"She adds to my spirit as I am able to witness her constant devotion and abiding faith in a higher power,
She adds to my soul through her being geniune and authentic,
She adds to my mind by challening me to think in ways I have never thought before,
She adds to my emotional capacity by daring me to love and to love hard,
She adds to my physical fortitude for insisting discipline and respect for both our temples. These things are the main ingredinets for our pure, unconditional, and authentic love, which is above all fair and true."
-Christopher E. Nelson 3-29-06

Makeup and hair can't make white-black, black-white

I decided to try my hand at writing a bi-weekly column for the campus paper. This means that I finally have experience in pirnt, radio, and television. Here's my first column:



A few weeks ago, while on Spring Break, I made it my mission to see the premiere episode of "Black.White," the new reality show on the F/X network. The premise of the show is this, two families -- one black and one white -- are physically transformed so that they become members of the opposite race. The transformation, however, isn't a real transformation, it isn't even a drastic makeover. What it amounts to is each participant being caked in makeup which makes them appear to be either "black" or "white."

In essence the show fails to fundamentally alter the appearances of those involved in the project. What the show is however able to do is to chronicle the experiences of two families who in effect pose as members of the opposite race. The intention of the show is to put on display for all to see how race is lived in America. How the show is being perceived however may detract from its intended effect.

There are those who believe that by having their appearances altered each family will begin to understand what it means to be "black" or what it means to be "white." It is admirable that the respective families would want to even try to understand what the experience of the other is like. Part of addressing the intricacies and complexities of race is understanding various perspectives. Each family is essentially trying to walk a mile in the other's shoes. There are those who say that believing that a change in appearance, makeup, changes in clothing selection or any other changes of that sort, believing that those things could ultimately facilitate some sort of deep understanding is shallow, ignorant, and above all naive. Those who see the show as problematic feel that the history of African Americans, that their shared stories, and that part of their unique experiences are being lost in all this. They also feel that Caucasian Americans are not being allowed to be true to who they really are. Many have asked how you can boil down centuries of history, to what amounts to an experiment.

The fact is that what the presence of "Black.White" on our television screens does is, it demonstrates a need. There is most certainly a clear need for a continued dialogue on issues such as race. This discussion need not only take place on this college campus, but on other college campuses, in primary and secondary classrooms, in offices, in businesses, and in homes across this nation.

This has been made evident by the fact that people have responded both positively and negatively to the new show. Likewise, our own community endeavoring to discuss the racial divides seen when people go to the polls, when discussing affirmative action, and when discussing what it takes to create communities which are more inclusive and more representative.

The fact is that as a community of people who supposedly seek to be enlightened about a variety of issues makes it incumbent upon us to not overlook issues as critical as race. Sometimes we equate a discussion centered on race with a discussion centered on diversity.

While race is an important component of any discussion on diversity, it is not the only issue of importance. There are other social identifiers which need to be discussed, and are also essential.

Those other identifiers include ethnicity (some say their ethnicity is distinct from their race), class, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, and ability, (physical and mental).

Having an open and honest discussion is the first step towards understanding various perspectives. Understanding like this moves people a step closer toward embracing a society made up of a broad cross section of people.

A true discussion of diversity seeks to promote open mindedness and tolerance. A true discussion of diversity seeks to offer acceptance and affirm the experiences of everyone as being valid and true.

When we truly understand where people are coming from we are able to come away with an understanding of shared values, which can lead to a shared vision, but without a willingness to raise our voices in support of equity and justice, our lives may not be transformed, and our lives may not be enriched.

The work of understanding diversity, of promoting inclusivity, isn't done overnight, and not all the underlying issues have necessarily been made clear in black and white.

Wise Words

Sunday- "Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now." -Iyanla Vanzant, Spiritual Leader

Monday- "It is not easy to be a pioneer -- but oh, it is fascinating! I would not trade one moment, even the worst moment, for all the riches in the world." -Elizabeth Blackwell, first female doctor

Tuesday- "Leadership should be born out of the understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it." -Marian Anderson,Singer

Wednesday- "We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we're capable of -- to explain the pains and glory of our existence." -Maya Angelou, Poet

Thursday- "You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can decide how you're going to live now." -Joan Baez, Singer

Friday- "The greatest gift is not being afraid to question."-Ruby Dee, Actress and Activist

Saturday- "Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night."- Marin Wright Edelman

The Words of Others

I'm very cautious about whose advice I solicit, and even more cautious when accepting unsolicited advice. Worrying only about my own standards, my own goals, and my own objectives makes life a lot easier to live.

Yesterday while standing on the bus stop, I had a conversation with a random woman. She noticed that I had waved to a shuttle driver, and to a fellow student.

"You go to Loyola?"
"Yes, I do."
"What are you studying?"
"Communications."
"You know what you want to do with that?"
"I want to be on television, I want to be a reporter."

She then talked to me about some of the local stations, some of the local talent, and some potential places I might want to intern.

"Where'd you go to high school?"
"McDonogh."
"After going there you could have gone anywhere."

Then I explained to her the factors that went into my decision.

"I had wanted to go to Howard or Temple, Loyola was my third choice. They gave me the most money and I figured if they were willing to invest in me, I could bite the bullet and stay in Baltimore."

We talked more about my experiences, my career objectives, and where I might want to live. Discussing my college experience with her made me meditate as I often do on the "What if?"
What if I had gone to Temple?
What if I had gone to Howard, my dream school?

She told me about her goddaughter who'd gone to Temple and not Spelman, and her daughter who'd gone to Michigan State, which is so far away from her home in Baltimore. She talked about how the decision for her goddaughter had been difficult. She talked about how her daughter knew she was doing what was best for her.

"You're where you need to be. Everything happens for a reason. You're right where you need to be."

Those were words I couldn't take with a grain of salt. It was refreshing to be reminded why optimism is so very important!

Just "Be Cool"

So as SChrist pointed out on his blog ESPN's Danyelle Sargent caught some flack, when she actually cursed on the air. The link below should work. An ESPN suit is coming into one of my classes next week, so I think maybe I'll ask if he had a role in the damage control. They reportedly convinced YouTube to take video of the incident down, and YouTube posts everything, so that's interesting. As someone who has worked in broadcast I can see how the mistake could be made, it's in the eyes of the suits inexcusable, but it is an honest mistake. Just like people have conversations with their co-workers, anchors and reporters do the same thing. Granted our conversations are no longer public, and we open ourselves up to a lot more scrutiny, we still are just regular people. LoL I love watching the bloopers and outtakes. I have some stories of my own from my short career, and I'm sure there will be many more to come.


http://ds2.thatvideosite.com/download.php?id=1794&filename=espn_what_the_fuck_was_that.wmv&filesize=2857962

It does interest me however that more people probably know Sargent's name now than before. It'a also interesting to see the type of criticism she received. Most messageboard comments I read questioned her skills, and asked whether she'd gotten where she was solely on looks. Its sad that obviously double standards still exist. When I first say Sargent on ESPN News last year I was curious as to who the sister was. Female sportscasters are still somewhat rare, successful female sportscatsers on a national level are even more rare. But glad to see a sister is holding it down.

Then there was this video from CNN HLN yesterday. Apparently some sort of cable caught on fire inside the studio, while they were during a live newscast. Linda Stouffer gets mad props for trying to continue doing the news, despite the disruption. One of my idols Fredericka Whitfield who handles weekend anchoring duties on HLN's sister network CNN once said, "If the set is falling, lights are falling, camera goes down," an anchor should "just be cool." Stouffer tried to hold it down, until her co-anchor Chuck Roberts wisely sensed the situation could be too dangerous and said, "We're out of here."


http://youtube.com/watch?v=_NXASAv0klA


When I make it to the chair I hope I get someone as professional as either Stouffer or Roberts sitting next to me. It helps when you know the person next to you is both capable, competent, and committed to getting the job done!


LoL can ya'll tell I watch a lot of TV news. I'm already writing my acceptance speech for when I get that Emmy, that Murrow, that DuPont, that NABJ award. LoL, a little premature? MMMM. Nawww. I'm going get it!

The Business of Pulling Teeth and Other News From My Day

Today was an interesting day, one which in the grand scheme of things probably wasn't all that atypical.
Hey There Mr. Leprechaun Man
I went to my 8am Theology class. It's an interesting class, with an interesting teacher. It's kind of funny that I call my teacher a "little leprechaun". I mean the guy is great he's intelligent, compassionate, thoughtful, and insightful. I have nothing against him, it's only that I find him very entertaining. At 8am this guy is hopping around, skipping around, and he has not been afraid to at one point climb up on a table. He's small and very enthusiastic, hence the nickname.
My Aching Gums and Teeth
I didn't go to my 9am or 11am classes, due to a dental appointment.
I had a dental appointment scheduled for 10:00 or 10:40 I didn't really know what time, just the day. Anyways what mattered is that I showed up, and they saw me. I had a consult with the orthodontist because I have what are known as "impacted teeth". One thing that my sister and I seem to have inherited from our paternal side of the family are some messed up teeth.
The orthodontist strongly urged me to consider braces, and to begin the process sooner rather than later. If not for my "flaky" medical insurance, and the prospect of having to place a serious dent in my pockets, I would have begun handling the situation today. I think my dental office knows how "flaky" insurance companies can be. A sign which hangs in the lobby in front of the billing agent's window reads, "insurance companies are "goofy"...we'll give it our best shot...." the note went on to say if the bill and the estimates differed, they'd refund or bill you. My conversations with the dental assistant revealed that my carrier may be "flakier" than others. She warned me that my mom and I may have to end up footing a large portion of the bill.
We had an interesting conversation during which I told her about my being a student at Loyola studying Communications, she let me know that my orthodontists brother also majored in Communication.
Dental Assistant: So what do want to do with that[a Communication's degree]?
Me: I want to be on TV.
Dental Assistant: Oh that's wonderful.
[She looks down at my file]
Dental Assistant: You have a great name.
[I smile{big shout out to my momma she had an inkling to give me a cool name Christopher Ezekiel Nelson, jazzy isn't it?}]
And a great personality,
and a great laugh.
All you need now
Me: Is to get my teeth fixed?
[Laughter]
It turns out the Dental Assistant is the orthodontists mom. That's how she knew what his brother majored in. She was really cool, maybe she can get her son to discount his fee a lot, a whole lot.
Working on our News Show
When I got back to campus I was supposed to meet up with one of my group members about our group presentation. In my sociology class, each member of the class had to be part of a group which discussed articles we had to read for our sociology class. My group which I agreed to help lead and organize had to review and discuss articles dealing with American college life. We read articles which talked about how flying the coop allows students to come away with a newfound identity, how some college students and young adults turn to the web for dating, how "pluralistic ignorance"- the assumption that everyone has the same views about certain issues; when in actuality they don't, how that contributes to people "hooking up", and how generational changes affect how different generations view each other. Since the member didn't show up, I helped my co-anchor and photographer to shoot man on the street interviews for our bi-monthly news and discussion show. Yeah, I'll stick to my in studio work.
Presentation
Our presentation, thank God it's over. It's official I hate group work. I know, I know collaboration is part of life. Maybe someone can say that when I'm getting paid to work with people. In the meantime the fact that people can't seem to remember that they're young adults, who have responsibilities to others, and not just to themselves. When people can grow up, do right, and be right. Then, and only then does the possibility exist for me to like group work.
Chill Time
I got a call from an old friend, which was good, because it allowed up to catch up with one another. People do move away, go away to college, and seem to become "brand new." It's a shame when people forget who they are. When this happens I just tune in to Mya's "Things Come and Go" from hear "Fear of Flying" album. That was my jam of the week last week.
The Station
Last week the station hosted it's XULA Party: A Benefit Concert for Xavier University of Louisiana. The concert I think was more of a success than we had expected due to the fact that a lot of area colleges went on break beginning Friday, ticket sales on our campus were sluggish, and the concert was the day after St. Patrick's Day. I didn't realize that college students had been given yet another excuse to consume alcohol. Under normal circumstances, many a college student, guzzle alcohol as if it's water. Hardheadz, a Baltimore area hip hop band gave a decent performance the band was hot, but I couldn't really understand the lyrics. Since that's typical for me, I didn't mind. The band Fools and Horses, not my cup of tea. And I came to realize why so many students of color spoke out against the rapper Afroman performing. His lyrics, his image, his whole persona is somewhat questionable. His lyrics were downright vulgar. One memorable phrase had him saying something about performing a sex act on a woman and it tasting like shrimp fried rice. That's about as tasteful as I can put it. My two hours tonight were spent trying to get back in the groove of newsgathering.
On Tap
I am so tired, I think I will go to sleep, and then wake up in the A.M. to write my package, I'm doing a V.O./SOT or a package about the concert. We'll have in studio guests to comment on the concert controversy, and to talk about diversity at Loyola in general.
I also have advising to pick my classes for next semester.
And I begin work again tomorrow, hopefully the kids are still on vacation, if only in their heads.

That's all for now.

Wise Words for the Week (Inspiration and Cause for Thought, Pause, and Meditation)

Sunday-
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
Monday-
Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.
Wally 'Famous' Amos, businessman (1936 - )
Tuesday-
The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm
Wednesday-
Strong reasons make strong actions.
William Shakespeare, English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
Thursday-
The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.
Havelock Ellis, English sexual psychologist (1859 - 1939)
Friday-
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
Arnold Palmer, US golfer (1929 - )
Saturday-
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
Thomas Jefferson, 3rd president of US (1743 - 1826)

July

Pick the MONTH that you were born in & put it on the SUBJECT LINE. Then
FWD it to people you know, including the one who sent it. They just
might understand you better...


JANUARY - Stubborn. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught.
Never looks at people's flaws or weaknesses. Hardworking and productive.
Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to
make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tense. Rather reserved.
Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Loving and
loyal. Loves children. Has great social abilities. Money cautious, can
budget successfully.
______________________________________________
FEBRUARY - Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent
and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy.. Temperamental.
Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals.
Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too
sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show
it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows
it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show
emotions.
______________________________________________
MARCH - Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and
serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses
others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves
attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor.
Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
______________________________________________
APRIL - Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves
attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous.
Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and
others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only
their lover can see.
______________________________________________
MAY - Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated.
Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.
Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs
no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream.
Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and
neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature
and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not
having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
______________________________________________
JUNE - Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite.
Has lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitates, tends to put
things off. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and
humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Makes friends easily. Shows character. Easily hurt. Prone to
getting colds. Easily bored. Fussy and stubborn. Seldom shows emotions.
Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious.
______________________________________________
JULY - Fun to be with. Secretive. Sometimes, difficult to understand.
Quiet unless excited or tense. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation
for hard work. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful.
Friendly, but not always approachable. Emotionally temperamental. Moody
and easily hurt. Witty. Not mean or revengeful. Forgiving but never
forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and illogical things. Sensitive and forms
friendships carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong
sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations.
No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Broods about the past
and misses old friends. Quiet, homey person. Has difficulty making new
friends. Prone to having dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily
hurt but takes long to recover.
______________________________________________
AUGUST - Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and
fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console
others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty
for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked.
Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.
Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor
resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty.
Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
______________________________________________
SEPTEMBER - Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized.
Stubborn. Quiet. Uncomfortable if have to talk to a group. Calm.
Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well. Very
confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when
criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Secretive. Loves
sports and leisure. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy, especially in relationships.
______________________________________________
OCTOBER - Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes
things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Sexy. Gets angry often.
Treats friends importantly. Always making new friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. Does not care what
others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel,
the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does not
pretend. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily
influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
______________________________________________
NOVEMBER - Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward.
Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and
strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality.
Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less
talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and
hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give
up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks
differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not
appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and
emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking.
High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to
control emotions.
______________________________________________
DECEMBER - Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and
interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves
attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending.
Short-tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in
oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.
Logical

Wise Words

Currently Listening
Moodring
By Mya
Things Come and Go
see related

Wise Words
Sunday-
People deal too much with the negative,
with what is wrong...
Why not try and see positive things,
to just touch those things
and make them bloom?
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Monday-
Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
But in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
Tuesday-
Begin each day like it was on purpose.
- The Film "Hitch"
Wednesday-
The first step to getting the things you want out of
life is this: Decide what you want.
-Ben Stein
Thursday-
Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is
worth fighting for, being brave for, risking
everything for.
-Erica Jong in "O" Magazine
Friday-
People grow through experience if they meet life
honestly and courageously. This is how character is
built.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Saturday-
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and
what you do are in harmony.
-Mahatma Gandhi

She Loves Good Cooking

So over Spring Break, I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with members of my family, and I was most excited to spend time with two of my little cousins Tori (aka Lil B. Smith) and Toni (aka lil Rachel Ray). (See pics from 3/03).

Tori is 4 years old, is talkative yet shy, has a great sense of humor, and has an mature demeanor. Given that she didn't talk much when she was younger, and my mother, and I were both concerned, to see her talk now, is mind boggling. Tori is a toy aficionado, she loves Bratz Dolls and anything Dora the Explorer.

Toni is 6 years old, is talkative, is energetic, outgoing, is very playful, she too has a great sense of humor. My biggest concern is her attention span, which is hella short, and it bothers her parents, and her teacher to a degree. Toni is a pop culture aficionado. She loves her Hip Hop & R &B.

Much like her mother Toni loves fashion, music, movies, and just entertainment in general, but a foray unto itself is her devotedness to one Rachel Ray and The Food Network.

Recently at the request of Ms. Jameil I sought to find out why little Toni see pics below from 3/03 is so in love with Rachel Ray.

So I asked her mother my cousin Dionne, why she watches Rachel Ray so faithfully.

My cousin told me she didn't know, but that it had something to do with my mother.

I remembered that my mother when she's home from work in time, and doing summers will call Toni to tell her "Rachel Ray is on."

I can remember being home, Toni being over for a visit, and her dropping everything she was doing to watch Rachel Ray.

So I asked my mother, why she thought Tone as we call her, was so devoted to Rachel Ray. She said she didn't know, but all she knows is that Tone is a true Rachel Ray fan.

So I did what every journalist does, I went to the source.

Below is the transcript of a recent phone conversation with Tone.

Me aka CNEL: Tone, why do you like Rachel Ray so much?
Toni: I don't know, I just like her cooking.
Me aka CNEL: You just like her cooking?
Toni: I want to go over her house.
Me aka CNEL: You want to go over Rachel Ray's house?
Toni: Yeah.
Me aka CNEL: She lives in New York.
Toni: I don't care, I still want to go over there.

I have a feeling Toni will soon be traveling, shoot, she may even fly solo, HaHa.

My Mother Will Be Married Before Me

Okay, I am really convinced that my mother may very well be married before me. As of now marriage isn't in my plans, neither are kids, but lawd, you'd think being a very eligible bachelor I'd have some prospects. Well since my mother actually wants to get married, she says she already sent her request list up to God.

But still lawd can I find a nice young lady to spend some time with, apparently not.

When I got this Facebook message from my cousin I almost died:

"I know why Shanell didn't want to holla back at you,she is trying to holla at your sister.That's f'ed up,how your sister pull the girl you were trying to holla at."

Then I called my other cousin:

"Oh yeah I already knew that. I forgot to tell you. Remember that night I called you, but said I forgot what I called you for, that was it. I wanted to tell you she swings both ways."

Now I'm very fine with my sister, being a lesbian, so long as she isn't my competition, good grief.

Alright I had to vent, more frequent updates on the craziness of my life, once I return to LoCo.

This Week

This has been a long week for me, but isn't that a little like stating the obvious!

So the good news is that my aunt/godmother is getting better, and my family is doing what it should always do, stand by each other, and take care of each other.

I still must deal with my Uncle passing, even though he was ill with cancer, his death came suddenly and was shocking. When we lay him to rest next week, we must all remember his loyalty to a family he married into, and his loyalty to my aunt.

Schoolwork: I was just beginning to have faith, and beginning to see why I must do some of the things that I do. But then some teachers started acting a lil "crazy and deranged", in the words of Michael Baisden.

Schoolwork: I definitely realized that I'll have to do a lot in order to supplement the knowledge I'm receiving, with a little knowledge of my own.

Radio station stuff: I'm still supposed to interview the kids who protested the proposed school closings on my show on Sunday.

Radio station stuff: I had to help deal with a group of students from underrepresented backgrounds threatening to boycott XULA Party, the benefit concert to benefit Xavier University in Louisiana. Some of the students of color are upset that "Afroman" of "Because I Got High" fame is performing. I have said before, his message isn't one I necessarily agree with, but a lot has gone into planning this concert, and at the end of the day it's about Xavier and New Orleans. He is enthusiastic about performing because of his Mississippi roots, and was anxious to be apart of something productive which helped people instead of hurt people. We have to seek to help others, and remember the greater good that can hopefully be done by a benefit concert. It's definitely made me more aware of the fact that I must be a liasion between the students of color, and the radio station. I'll have to be more conscious of that role as time moves on.

Part time job: My kids were actually able to bring smiles to my face this week. Their honesty and realness kept me honest.

I am looking forward to some private time, some time to clear my head.

And some time to spend with my girls below you see Toni, my little ace, and Tori my other little ace. I love my little cuzzos. I haven't seem them in ages, since probably early in the school year! They're my two favorite lil cousins. They are the little women in training! They are like The Delaney Sisters, they are going to have their say! I'll be away for a few days, but I'll check in next week. Ya'll come back now ya hear!

While she was work in progress, look at that lil button nose. Aww love me little Tori. 

Before she sat down to let Mommy do what she do! 

After her momma worked the magic looking bout as good, as she gets, she's an active lil runner! 

Before the magic happens bout to get that hair did! (That's Baltimore speak LoL) 

I'm Hating School Right Now

So, as we all know this has been a rough week for me to say the least, but right now I am really hating school.

I woke up this morning to handle some business at the radio station, read for a class, and study for a quiz(a quiz I had to take even though my professor knows all that is happening with my family). I accomplished all that but not to my liking.

I ended up being in the radio station for about 2 hours, when I had intended to stay for 30 minutes.

Then I came back and had breakfast, real breakfast, not pop tarts or anything like that, I had pancakes. I'm so tempted to say pannicakes like some of my little cousins used to say. I ate, skimmed for Philosophy, studied as much as possible for the quiz in Sociology.

Then I had my 12:15 Philosophy class, I'll definitely have to study that mess over Spring Break next week.

Then I had to take the quiz, I was ten minutes late, and my professor was mad, but I still managed to finish by 2pm, so I am happy about that. I just hope that I did well. Before I left, my professor did offer his condolences, and remarked that I as opposed to when I was a lowly freshman, I look "more mature" and then he made a hand gesture as if to say my affect changed, and that "I carry myself well." I don't know maybe I've had an upswing in confidence. I told him, "I'm not walking around feeling lost anymore." It kind of reminded me that I am a survivor, and that I am an overcomer.

I took a break before my coworker came to give me a ride 5 minutes up the road to work.
I worked from 2:30pm-5:00pm today, they cut an hour off my time, and thus an hour off my pay. That's the second time and two weeks. I think one of my supervisor might think we go together, cause she always comes and says, "Umm you guys can go." We always say we aiight, but it ends up being whatev. I'm taking off tomorrow. Besides they'll get to see my face next week, cause I'm working over Spring Break.

Tonight I have a meeting at 7:00pm with a club leader, who wants to boycott the benefit concert the station is hosting to benefit Xavier University in New Orleans. They're upset that Afroman of "Because I Got High" fame is performing. While I agree that he's not the bestest, yes I said bestest of role models. He is a native of the Gulfcoast region, Mississippi. He wanted to give back, and so here's his chance. I'd just rather see people give money in order to benefit Xavier because it has a rich history of putting out top notch pharmicists, future med students, and other healthcare professionals. Last time I checked they were among the top schools pushing African-Americans towards advanced degrees. We can overlook some things I think if it benefits the common good. But then again I could be wrong. But, I atleast want to know what I can help do to make the students allies and not adversaries of the radio station. I'm kind of excited to have a meeting, to try and see what the station can do to increase its appeal.

Then I have my last assignment before break, an article on the recent protests by city school students over the proposed closing of six Baltimore City Public Schools. The kids from the Algebra Project were also my guests on "Chris Has Issues" my radio show last Sunday, and I hope to have them back this coming Sunday. Want to see what we talked about visit here:
www.chrishasissues.blogspot.com

We'll try and put their show on the web, on the station website after break.

Aiight let me chill out for a minute!

Thanks to all for their well wishes.
-CNEL

Tears Keep Wanting to Come

So my aunt/godmother is still in the hospital, and she's kind of regressed. We felt she was getting better, but it doesn't seem so today. I spent five hours with her on Monday, and I'm supposed to try and go during her 1 hour of visitation later today.Thoughts of her, her wellness, and the toll it's taking on my family have consumed me.

Add to that yesterday morning my uncle/godfather died due to complications cancer. He wasn't my blood uncle, he was uncle by marriage, but he and my aunt have always looked out for me. I am kind of in shock, this is yet another blow to my family.

My other aunt from Texas who is also suffering from cancer is due to fly in Sunday, and my grandfather is one unhappy camper. This is his oldest daughter, and his only child from his first marriage, and he is ultraprotective of her. She is as stubborn as she is, so it'll be hard to convince her not to come.

In between dealing with my family crises I've still had to go to class, do my hours at the radio station, work at my other more real parttime gig, and try to make arrangements for my trip to Italy.

The only time I was able to smile yesterday was when at work with the kids. I was thanked, and complimented for getting my hair cut. Last week one young 6 year old young lady asked me, "What were you thinking coming to school like that? (By that she meant with long hair, and long nails.)

Then while on playground duty, one little girl relayed her recent experience celebrating a friend's birthday, the 8 and 9 year old girls went for a weekend at the spa. They were treated to manicures and pedicures, and then went out for burgers.

(Can I get that hook up minus the manicure and pedicure, maybe a massage, and then a burger.)

Then she recounted how one of her crews neighbors had a crush on her, little get his mack on,
"You know you're pretty when you're mad."
"Then I must be gorgeous because I'm furious."
Apparently that was a scene from some Disney movie.

Another young woman asked if I went to college and what I wanted to be? I told her yes, and I want to be a news anchor. She said she couldn't see it because I talk so fast. When I thanked her for killing my dream, she changed her tune, and wrote me an inspirational note for my wall which read,

"Your dream might come true if you believe."

LoL I love "my kids" their honest, it's sometimes brutal, but it's sometimes more than I can say for other folks.

I have wanted to cry so bad, and the tears keep welling up. Part of me wonders if the tears will do anything, and if it's a waste of energy.

I don't feel like doing anything. Spring Break begins Friday at 12 noon, but I won't be getting a break. I'll be burying an uncle, praying for an aunt, working next week in order to go to Italy, and whatever else comes my way.

Here's my poem/meditation for today:
There are times in your life when you may ask, "Is my living in vain?"
When you don't feel you can "stand."
When you wonder why you give, "total praise?"
When you want to think that it's okay to say I don't feel the spirit or hear the voices, "calling my name."
There are times when you wonder if you'll really have a "second chance?"
And there are days when you wait for the chance to say, "I told the storm."

Please keep me and mine lifted up in prayer!