Taking Stock

I don't really remember what I set out to do differently in 2009 than in 2008 or any year prior. What I do know is that I need for 2010 to blow me completely out the water. What did set in for me was this year, is that time really only moves forward. I'm getting older and thus it's about time I make some grown man moves. So hopefully I can make some big things happen for myself in 2010.

We really are the only one's completely responsible for our own happiness, and therefore it's so important to take responsibility for how we live. I see this now more than ever being back home with my family, working and having bosses, seeing friendships grow and go away.

Last night my best friend from college and I went out to a sushi bar. A large part of our evening was spent talking about life changes. For C. Nic he's preparing to finish graduate school, join Americorps, and end his relationship with his girlfriend who'll head off on an assignment to the Peace Corps. We talked about how their friendship will remain but they both feel they owe it to each other to live their lies, without worrying about maintaining a relationship, thousands of miles apart. C. Nic and I are two days apart, but I respect him so much for always knowing what he wants, deciding what's best for him, and going for it, but only after much thought and reflection.

C. Nic is the type that always makes me think deeply about where I am in life. Since he's studying higher education administration, he's always like a counselor, he often quizzes me on how my professional aspirations are dictating or have dictated how I lived. He reminds me that what we do can be a job, a career, or a vocation. Experts would tell you that one finds their true vocation only once they've realized what they've been called to do. I am always made to remember that the Rev. Peter J. Gomes says, " A vocation is where your great joy meets the world's great need."

So in 2010 I've looking forward to finding out more about what the world needs from me, and what I need from the world, and hopefully giving of myself but also getting something.

P.S.
I plan to return to blogging regularly like I did before I graduated college and lost my mind.

Food For Thought

Author Helena Andrews tweeted a little earlier,"Adulthood comes in jigsaw pieces. Once the painstaking work of fitting them all together is done, the pic doesn't look nearly as cool."

Oh how true, Helena, oh how true though the assembling of the puzzle is sometimes the intellectual, emotional, and physical catalyst for us to work a little harder to have that pic reflect the life we believe we should have.
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Life Is All About Change

Life is all about change.

I have been considering quitting my job in television because I feel like I've hit a brick wall, that I've stopped growing, and that I'm unappreciated. I know, I know. We all often work jobs where we aren't told thank you, it's the nature of working. Still, I feel I'm too young to wake up everyday hating my job and loating heading in. So I've floated the idea of my leaving next month.

Then today my grandfather passed away. I keep replaying the scene in my head time and time again. My mom yelled for me to come because we couldn't wake him up. I put my head to his chest and I swear I heard a heart beat. Now because the medics said he regained his pulse in the ambulance. I didn't think to put him on the ground and start CPR. Now he's gone. My granddad was to me the epitome of what it means to be a strong black male. He left home at 16 refusing to work on the "white man's farm." He says he had a conversation with the mule and said it's me or you, and as he told the story, the mule nicely told him, he couldn't go anywhere.

Here's an interview I did with my granddad. It makes me smile to this day.

Today it's not about me, it's about my granddad Henry. And so now before I make any life's changing I'll think what would Henry want me to do?