Words of the Week

Sunday- Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. -Stanislaw Lem

Monday- One faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. -Alice Walker

Tuesday- Failure is the really bad “F-word.” ... It’s something you can’t be afraid of, because you’ll stop growing .... The next step beyond failure could be your biggest success in life. -Debbie Allen

Wednesday- Never confuse what you have with who you are. -Janis Kearney

Thursday-Happiness is nothing but everyday living seen through a veil.

Friday- Dissents speak to a future age. -Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Saturday- Avoid the enticement to be mean or argue. Allow others to be right. As far as you’re concerned, be peaceful with everyone you encounter. -Tavis Smiley

Life and Times of an R.A.

So here's the backstory behind why I almost sleep through the awards ceremony.

This little gem is from last Friday. Yes, its a cut out of a penis that was taped to someones door. We took it down. (In this picture its hanging in our office so that we RA's on duty could see what we were working with.)

This Friday found me making rounds in a freshman dormitory. We generally do rounds 4 times a night on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. We generally go every 2 hours or so beginning at 8pm. Last night we did 3 close to 8 PM , 12 AM, and 2 AM. As we nearly completed the second of two buildings close to 1:00 AM we heard some loud music. Since we didn't plan to come around for a while, we wanted to suggest that they turn it down. They opened the door without asking who it was. I saw red Solo cups. Apparently my first words were, "You can't have red Solo cups.". (The other R.A. said she was perplexed because you can of course have red Solo cups 'But if you were saying it, I was just going go along with it.' she said LoL) The complete thought should have been, "You can't have red Solo cups with which to play beer pong."

I can't even play beer pong on campus and I'm 21 and I'm CNEL! Not that I would ever play a game where dirty golf balls which often land on the floor, land in the same cup that I'll drink from. And it's beer and we all know how I feel about beer....disgusting!

But back to the story at hand. I was really in shock. Question: who opens the door wide open when they are doing something they aren't supposed to be doing? People wanted to get documented /wrote up/whatever they call it in your neck of the woods. We made them put all the cups and stuff in the center of the room. We collected ID's and took names. We made them pour out all the alcohol, we made them trash the cans and cups. We also took a almost empty bottle of Smirnoff. They had to empty that too. Then we told them why we were "documenting the situation". I also told them it wasn't a good look in a freshman dorm to have Bud Light signs taped up everywhere, a jar of golf balls (obviously for beer pong), shot glasses, and any posters giving drinking tips. One resident begged us to omit him from the report. "Sorry but that's not the way we do things." Then I escorted one of the residents to the dumpster. When I came back the other resident of the room, my R.A. duty partner, and another R.A. was talking. Our fellow R.A. was asking my partner to write up the report a certain way. I was beyond pissed at him for that, but that's another post. Cause these people are working my last nice nerve. I motioned for my duty partner so that we could go and write up our report. We wrote up the report and then had our last round at 2. We finished around 2:30 and I got to bed closer to 3. That's why I was so out of it this morning.

Between these not so smart kids and corrupt R.A.'s I'm might go off or someone sooner rather than later.

Oh S.ugar H.oney I.ced T.ea

"Oh shit, my mother."

Those were the words that came out of my mouth when I woke up, looked at the clock, and it read 9:52 AM

I was in deep trouble.

I was supposed to be up by 8:30 AM at the latest. I had set my alarm clock for 7:45 AM. I needed to iron my shirt, shower, and get dressed.

By the time I had woken up I didn't have time for any of the above.

I went to the bathroom looked in the mirror saw bloodshot eyes and quickly washed my face. (My mother would later say I did a poor job, I admit it was a rush job.)

I then went back into the room and threw on dress socks, my white shirt, and my blue patterned suit. Then I slipped into my dress shoes grabbed my cell phone, keys, and my ID card. Then I rushed out of the door.

Today is the first day of "Family Weekend". It's the weekend when parents and siblings converge on the college to give us all a little bit of home, I guess. Every year on the Saturday morning when "Family Weekend" begins the college holds it's annual Gratias Ceremony.

Each year during the ceremony student leaders from across the college are recognized by being inducted into leadership societies such as the Honor Council, the College Board on Discipline, the National Residence Hall Honorary. Awards are also given to student leaders who maintain extremely high GPA's, are heavily involved in community service, and who through their clubs and activities demonstrate that they desire to be well rounded students. Another honor is given to 14 seniors who are judged by faculty, administrators, and students to be the 14 top student leaders of the senior class. Those 14 become members of the Green and Grey Society. This year I was among that 14.

I still don't know why I was selected to be a member of the Green and Grey Society. I do a whole heck of a lot, but I'm a fan of laboring in obscurity. And most of my big gets take place off campus. Ya'll know I like to travel. Many find it weird that I'd much prefer getting things done and people not making a fuss. Yeah, I want my family and friends to know what I've achieved, because it's been because of them. But in all honesty I care less about the rest of the world knowing what I do and why.

I guess it's a big deal to be on G & G. I know its a privilege to be amongst a group I really respect and admire. It's also a huge responsibility because members of the G & G society regularly meet with the college president and are liasions between the college president and the student body.

All that being said I hate award ceremonies. I hate getting up in front of a crowd to have them gawk at me. Don't get me wrong, I can give a speech or work a crowd. I just hate doing it unnecessarily. Maybe my dislike of award ceremonies is why my body clock was all out of wack this morning (that and R.A. duty last night, a post about that forthcoming).

It's so weird that I just typed that I hate being on public display given the fact that I want to be a broadcast journalist. For me it's more about the work. I'm just a vessel, an instrument, a very nice intelligent, articulate, atuned, and nice looking instrument, but an instrument through which a note, a beautiful melodic note can be delivered.

But as my initial thought reminded me sometimes it's not about me. Being at the ceremony was more for my mother. Hence why I yelled out, "Oh shit, my mother." When I initially saw the clock I considered skipping. (I hate going places late, entering late, and drawing attention.) But I knew my mother was coming so I didn't skip. I got up and hauled ass across campus. I know that my mother has always been willing to sacrifice for me to get an education. She's always wanted me to have opportunities which weren't there for her. She always knew and always told me that I wasn't destined to be something less than great. So I went to the ceremony, sat there looked fly, as a tribute to my mother.

So thanks Ma.

I kind of needed to think about all that. All the sacrifices people have made, all the things which have been done, so I can just be me. Cause I know Lately I've been very bitchy about all the things I have to do with regards to leadership. I've been bitchy because I do for others, I SOOOOO believe in the idea of servant leadership. As I told one of my friends I'm not a perfectionist. I don't believe in perfection. I believe in doing a great job without comprimising who I am, and while being of service to others. That's what I believe. It's quite obvious that I must have been doing it all these years, or people wouldn't continually ask me to do things for them.

As the saying goes "Heavy is the head that wears the crown."

I know because of who I am, and where I come from, that I've in a sense being both and annointed and appointed to do great things.

I guess I just need to continue to do flaws and all, frustrations and all, cause things have been done for me.

Growing Up

Reading: "The Women Who Raised Me: A Memoir" by Victoria Rowell

Listening: "Your Joy" by Chrisette Michelle

Waiting: To Go on Rounds (Oh the joys of R.A. duty :-( ...)

"What comes first before conscious memory, before recorded images, and before the oral accounts ... is a melody. It's the sound of a lullaby sung by a woman who loves me infinitely, in a full voice that is untrained but on-key, perhaps with a frill here and there that she would never dare use at choir practice in church, but allows herself just for me. The melody is accompanied in my primal senses by the sensation of motion, as I am held to her bosom and rocked."
-Excerpt "The Women Who Raised Me"

For some reason over the summer in those moments when my mind simply wandered I could hear my mother's voice singing to me as if once again I were a child. She was singing a song, "Good morning, good morning. Good morning to you. Good morning, good morning. Oh how I love you." Seldom do I have memories which take me back that far, but this memory definitely came before I was five years old. Every morning when my mother woke my sister and I up she would sing that song. When I told her that I remembered her singing that song to us, she couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that that memory had survived my growing up.

I remember that melody.

Does She Like Me or Just Like Messing With Me?

Listening: Kelly Rowland "Ms. Kelly" : Flashback

Doing: Laundry

Preparing: For Work with the Kids

Dredding: Anything that comes before Saturday @ 1 a.m.

So last night after I was about to punch out the fellow R.A. I was sitting in my room about to read and then go to sleep.

Then I hear a knock at the door.

It's around 1:00 so I think it may be one of my residents needing something.

I open the door.

Standing there posted against the wall is this girl I was crushing on.

I was like blown cause she's smiles a saddistic smile and then laughs.

"Come on now you knew I was going to come and mess with you."

"Not tonight, not the same day, after I had just seen you."

She laughs.

We work together and she goes to LoCo. So I had seen her and spent time with her earlier.

Our Conversations: AWKWARD. She sat there talking about the other boys she'd danced with at a party last weekend. THIS IS THE SAME ONE I BROUGHT PANTIES (GAG GIFT REMEMBER) FOR SO YES SHE KNOWS I LIKE HER. YES, I'VE TOLD HER. YES I'VE FLIRTED.Then she went down the list of other things that she'd done over the week. I did what I was always did I acted like I didn't care and made sarcastic comments. She did like she always does. She continued.

Back to last night. She starts interrogating me and pushes open my door so she can get a better view of the room.

I'm like so tired, so drowsy, so dazed, and so confused.

It's like that for about five more minutes.

Then I finish the book I've been reading, "Gloss" and then I go to bed.

I wake up sort of wondering if last night really happened. Then find myself wondering about HER intentions. Does she like me or does she like messing with me? On the one hand she calls me weird. But then sometimes she seems to go out of her way to show up when she's least expected. I'm like ummm either get with it or get lost. I don't know. Part of me still loves her smile, still loves to be around her, but knows she's flaky and unstable. And she's young. Young and dumb @ LoCo sometimes synonymous.

Then things start raising through my head, "It's a game CNEL...but tricks are for kids CNEL...she's young and dumb CNEL...you graduate in May CNEL."

LoL I think I'll just leave it alone since I tend to overthink things.

Words of the Week

Sunday- “I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.” -Wilson Mizner

Monday- “When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.” -Madeline L’Engle

Tuesday- “It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions.”-Randy K. Mulholland

Wednesday-“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” -Kurt Vonnegut

Thursday-“She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.”-Henry James

Friday-“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Bertrand Russell

Saturday -“So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.” -Unknown

The "B" Word

So I spent much of today hanging out with my former roommate from my sophomore year of college. The other Christopher I would consider one of my closest friends in college.

It's weird how we have the same initials C.E.N., we're both cancers Christopher is two days older than me, we're both Resident Assistants, we're both members of a honorary leadership society at school.

I think we've even grown closer in the years since we were direct roommates.

Here's what I wrote in his honesty box a few months back:

"The best way to describe you would perhaps be as I describe myself. I'd describe you as an introvert by nature, an extrovert by choice. I'm happy though that you've found a good balance. Continue to be the funny, charming, and charismatic person many of us have grown to love."

He figured out it was me. How? He said, "I knew it was you...you write like you talk...and you use proper grammar."

Umm well I try to use proper grammar. One of the five courses this year a course in copy editing. I have no plans to go into newspapering but figured copy editing would give me a much needed eye for detail.

Anyway as we talked about all things important to two grown ass men. Family, friends, life after graduation, relationships, friendships, and various roles on campus. I remembered describing people who irked me, worked my last nerves, and who I downright despised. I may have even called a few of them the "b" word.

It's not that I have a hatred for them. I have a strong disdain more for their actions which more often than not I found personally insulting. I have never nor do I use the "b" word lightly. I have a mother, a twin sister, a gazillion aunts, a gazillion female cousins, a gazillion close female friends. As odd as it sounds I'd not expect someone to insult them by calling them the "b" word, yet I'd used it to characterize someone else's daughter, sister, cousin or friend.

Then I read this article:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=hill/070921

It was one of those eye opening moments.

I'm now going to make a conscious effort to not use the "b" word just as I make a conscious effort not to use the "n" word.

I Just Don't Know

Listening : "Flashback" by Kelly Rowland

Reading: "Gloss" by Jennifer Oko

Feeling: A Bit Loss/Overwhelmed/Underwhelmed/Lonely/Confused/Apathetic

So yesterday I went home for the first time in a month. It might not seem like a long time but it was for me. I live 15 minutes away from home max. I'm pretty close to my family. I talk to my mother atleast three times a week. I talk to my one of aunts/godmothers atleast twice a week. I talk to other family members generally a few times a week.

So yeah I chilled with my mother watched "Judge Hatchett", part of the 5 o'clock news, and even some of "Divorce Court".

I also saw my granddad for the first time since he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He seemed fine and as normal as can be. I was kind of afraid that he might be a) more ill than he appears to be b) turning into a grumpy old man c) hostile (because apparently he recently decided he doesn't like us calling him by his first name since I've been affectionately calling him "Henry" for well a while). The weird thing is all his doctor's appointments which have been scheduled in this the month of September are in like Nov/December or later. I'm sorry but I thought a) cancer was considered a serious illness, b) cancer was curable if you were proactive, c) cancer is sometimes lethal, d) timely treatment is a logical next step.

Notice I said the word logical. I'm presently despite my hatred for school at the present moment contemplating what it would take to before my 23rd birthday earn admittance into a joint J.D./ M.A. (in journalism) program. I definitely need a break following graduation in May. School has lost some of its luster, some of its allure, some of its majestic grandure. But I still love to learn. I'd love the opportunity to merge multiple passions which could allow me to exercise skills I'm very good at with interests which I'm very passionate about.

Aside from contemplating my future. I'm also at the present moment getting over my latest crush and a half. Yes, I am the one whose repeatedly said that crushes are overrated. They are the cause of much frustration, much pain, much anger, much angst from me.

Take for instance my old "Cuddle Buddy" whose for all intents and purposes a misguided trick. How about last week we were at Senior 250's she was grinding on me, I stood there like get the f off of me, cause you're so sometimey. At first I thought it was cause I'm a horrid dancer, then I realized her sometimeyness angers me. Then we were at midnight breakfast and she went and talked to the boy who helped cause her to break up with her boyfriend some months back. The white boy she repeatedly kissed while she had a boyfriend, caused her confusion and pain, and the same boy who would cause her to run to me to pet her up. Umm get a grip and stay away from him. He's a two timer too, two wrongs sure as hell don't make a right.

Take for instance this cute sophomore girl. She's cool, a lil hood but I like em with a lil intensity. She's coo except she's a bit superficial, a bit materialistic, a bit too restricted, a bit to jaded, a bit more radical in word but deed. She seemed like she'd have an independent streak but caters some of her actions to being in the in crowd. That's a turn off if you feel the need to conform and change to fit in. Get in to fit in. How about get in, fit in as you truly are. I guess I shouldn't hold it against her that she's playing the game.

Take this final one, this cute, I'll even say sexy freshman. She's gorgeous tall, long maned, ex track running (ya'll know I love em athletic) girl. She's mad coo. She's smart, she's funny, she's honest. Did I mention she was cute? She also always has this guarded look of skepticism on her face. (That mystic, that mysterious nature, also draws me.) It's the same thing as what probably attracked. She clearly however said she didn't see anything on LoCo's campus which caught her eye. She said it to me so I clearly think I was included in that statement. So even though she always speaks, always smiles, when my back is turned she makes the point of tapping my soldier to say hi. Oh I love that. But oh yeah she said she doesn't find any LoCo men to capture her attention. Good thing cause she lives in my area, and we RA's can't date residents in our areas. Maybe that's a good thing.

Add to each of that, the lack of mutual attraction. These floosies will say you're a nice guy just not what they're looking for. Can't knock em for personal choice. But can I just say this good guy finishing last S.ugar H.oney I.ced T.ea is getting too much play. So is the whole "you're the marrying type" B.S. Next person who says that to me may get kicked in the throat. And I'd do some damn exercises just to get my leg throat level.

But yeah my mentee called from Columbia in NY. He updated me on his life. He showed me that not only are all my hetero friends happily in lust/love/lies/delusions (sorry to sound so damn cynical) but my homo friends are too heavily and happily engaged in lust/love/lies and delusions. Well I'll be damned cause they didn't make room for me. I updated him on mine and he said, "You seriously crush more than anyone else I know." So what?! I can do that it's just window shopping outside the candy shop.

On a more serious level I discovered that I really truly lack relationships (platonic ones) with people the way I did in high school. Going to my prep school/ my boarding school I felt much more connected and in tuned with people. The types of relationships I built there added something of value to me. Those relationships nurtured me as a person, changed me, challenged me. They really did make me grow. Many of those relationships still exist today. They weren't perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect person, so there aren't perfect friends. Still I had friends who'd make me smile more than they'd piss me off. But when they pissed me off I'd forgive them because I knew their intent was pure. I don't know if five years from now, shid, two years from now I can look back with a certain fondness that I look back on my hs career.

I long for some good to look back on that doesn't center on my singular accomplishments.

I long to feel I've connected in some meaningful way.

And he loves even the least of us...

My Cousin: You know "she" was pregnant for a lil bit.
Me: What she lost the baby?
My Cousin: Yeah.
Me: Dang.
My Cousin: Yeah, she said she lost the baby the day after the church found out.
Me: So she was pregnant?! Was she married or engaged or anything?
My Cousin: No she was a sinner like the rest of us.

Later

My Cousin: Sinners love Jesus too.

"Why Is Everyone Crazy But You?"

"Why is everyone crazy but you?"

That's a question that my mother often asks me after I accuse certain people of being crazy.

Why do I say it? Because people don't know how to act. But that isn't what I told her.

So when asked why everyone's crazy but me I say, "That's because it's my world and ya'll just living in it."

Then I got real and said, "If you were the one making the observation I think you'd say the same thing. I'm not going call myself crazy. They are crazy in my opinion."

My away message often says, "CNEL is trying not to kill anyone's child."

Between my residents 30 or so college freshmen who in some cases have minimal home training. On the other hang kids between the ages of 5 and 13 who sometimes need more than a stern talking to, cause that might not be enough. One eighth grader I wanted to punch in her face. Lord forgive me for saying this but that ugly child need not be mean. I'm sorry but you aren't cute.

As I told my mother, "You can't be ugly and be mean that doesn't work. Ugly doesn't balance out mean."

So when not being an R.A., when not being an aftercare counselor, when not in one of five classes, when not writing for the school newspaper I do other stuff like interview people for fun! Check out the link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aObRiLEDV3M

"And Please Don't Let This Be Yet Another Overrated Experience"

I started off the weekend by being on R.A. duty. Woo, what a great way to spend a Friday night. :-( Duty means along that with a partner I complete rounds at 8pm, 10pm, 12am, and 2am or thereabouts. The task at hand: patrol a series of buildings in the new freshman area making sure people aren't a) drinking b) being too loud c) not destroying school property or d) don't have any other problems.

On Saturday night there was this annual Senior Event ('08 stand up!) called Senior 250's. It's an event for seniors only! Someone on campus the senior class gathers for booze, food, and music. The event continues every 50 days or so. So eventually comes the Senior 200's, Senior 150's, Senior 100's, Senior 50's, and then graduation.

Last night was our first night out.

Each event has a theme and last night the theme was "Welcome to the Jungle" (after the Guns and Roses song). Ummm there enlies the first problem.

$10 entrance fee... Ummm there enlies another problem.

Let's just say because since there was only Bud Light and Yuengling I was disappointed. You can pay for beers and nothing else.... boo that. Ummm there enlies a huge problem. That junk is nasty!

As for food chicken tenders, taquitos, and chips and dip. Huh? That's a definite problem.

So I tried to not be a brat and enjoy myself.

Here are a few snapshots:

Titi and me

My old roomie Chris Nic, our friend Britt, and Me

Some of 2008

More of '08

So now let me get through the next week. And hope next weekend proves more satisfying.

Later.

Sunday- "Learn to be grateful. Never compare your blessings to another persons."-Rev. Run

Monday- "Hope is the dream of a waking man." -Pliny the Elder

Tuesday- "Educate a man in mind and not in morals, and you educate a menace to society."-Unknown

Wednesday- "Some people will tear you down just to see you fall. They’ll do it even if your loss is their own." -Walter Mosley

Thursday- "You’ve got to give meaning to your own life first. [A relationship] should not be seen as romantic fantasy." -Jada Pinkett Smith

Friday- "I am always going to have to deal with the possibility of failure, and I will always be able to utilize these things in my work." -Billy Joel

Saturday- "Life need not be something we are in awe of, overwhelmed and frightened by." -Unknown

"Are You the Father?"

Title: In honor of one of the old roomies who interned at the Maury Povich show this summer.

Currently: Looking at this Facebook poll/compare people section which says "#9 best father potential."

Ummm no CNEL and the word father should not be synonymous.

So talking to Eps tonight he thinks he's going to be a godfather/uncle. Naw that's me. We all know that, that ladies man will have mad kids. HaHa.

He had the nerve to say to me, "I'm going be using your kids to pick up the girls."

No he's going pick up a girl and then have some kids.

That is all ...

Fan Mail

About 24 hours ago I was preparing to go to sleep because I knew I had a breakfast with the president of my college, the vice president of student development, and thirteen of my fellow student leaders. That's what life is sometimes like when people see you as a " student leader." Meetings and events like those might make you think you matter. But how can you know you're really affecting people's lives. It's easy to aspire to that level of recognition because of what it will supposedly get you.

You know what's even more humbling though, to be recognized when you hardly think anyone's watching or taking notice.

Imagine my surprise when I read this note sent to me at 1:30 in the A.M. It blew my mind!

"Chris,

I just wanted to send you a quick e-mail and let you know I appreciate your recent column to the Greyhound (if you've been in there in the past, I just met you, so I didn't make the connection!). Personally, I think the paper has been on a downward slope since we came, and this year especially I've found it trite and vision-less. I have begun to look forward to your articles as #2 behind the Police Blotter--which will never be dethroned--because you offer something that's a lot more intellectually stimulating than the 10 pages out of 20 dedicated to anything sports-related.

Keep up the good work"

Even I can't beat the police blotter but to know someone's taking note! That made my night especially since my residents be trying me! I might just have to start writing people up! People never head warnings without the prospect of sure consequences. "Kids if you try CNEL I'mma bring fiya!"

Ed. Note: The article is linked (just click on the blog title)!

Fear

A few years ago I was watching a T.V. show, I think it was "Charmed" when a character said, "Fear is the only thing which makes us live." That stuck with me and often I meditate upon that saying. It was then that it hit me that it's okay to be fearful, to be nervous, to even be a bit anxious. To me its quite normal to have those moments of doubt, for without them we wouldn't have those moments of reassurance. It's just not okay to let those things take hold of you. It's not okay to let those things paralyze you. It's not okay to keep yourself from living.

Last week it hit me. I am 21, I am the Lord willing less than a year away from finishing college, and already I am incredibly accomplished. Yet, every now and again this one fear pops up. It's the fear that I won't make it. It's that fear that I won't be successful.

As I thought about I realized I've had this fear before. About three years ago as I was halfway through my freshman year in college. I hadn't wanted to attend LoCo, I hadn't wanted to stay in Baltimore, I hadn't wanted to not feel like I belonged. Life has changed in some regards. LoCo gave me some opportunities, but secretly I still wonder what if. I know you're not supposed to think what if, you're supposed to be thankful for what is. But that fear came back.

The last time how I got over it. My ex who as I confided in her this fear said, "You're probably the only person in your family who thinks it. You're the only one in your family who thinks you won't make it, who thinks you won't be successful. Everyone else in your family knows you will." For some reason that got me through.

I owe a great deal to myself, but I owe a great deal to those who've always believed in me.

I have to make moves for them.

Words of the Week

Sunday- "Make sure you have mercy on people, because you never know when you're going to need a little mercy yourself." -Erica Campbell

Monday-"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out." -Frank M. Clark

Tuesday - "Hold a true friend with both your hands." - Nigerian Proverb

Wednesday- "Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman." -Conrad Hilton

Thursday- "Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change." -Unknown

Friday- "Keep walking and keep smiling." -Tiny Tim

Saturday- "Multitudes of people have failed to live for the present ... What they have had within their grasp today they have missed entirely because only the future intrigued them." -Rev. Run

The Life and Times of a Resident Assistant

My Room Before I Fully Moved In

My Kitchen Area Minus Stove: No Cooking For Me

Outside My Room

My First Bulletin Board

The RA's who are members of the class of 2008

"Little Sisters Are The Best"

I love chats with my "little sister" Lauren aka LaLa. She's one of my two adopted sisters. LaLa is phenomenal she's brilliant, she goes to Georgetown. She's also deep. She's very insighful, wise, and mature. We get along well. We balance each other out in most instances. We're goofy as hell and even have our code.

I have another "little sister" but because she's a college athlete and goes to school in Jacksonville, Florida, La and I have come to interact more.

So Sunday night into Monday morning we had our first in depth chat in a while.

It centered on her new relationship, and my we'll just call it perpetual state of existence.

HaHa.

stormyc14 (9:51:35 PM): i saw the girls i brought panties for (DISCLAIMER: Gag gift. She said get her something blue. My friend Bianca and I were hella bored at the mall so we decided to be mischevous) ...she always waves and says hi but its so awkward and even tho i tell myself she aint cute she is
LaLa (9:56:09 PM): hahah
LaLa (9:56:13 PM): stop bein in denial
LaLa (9:56:30 PM): jus call her an attractive trick
stormyc14 (9:56:39 PM): that she is but she acts so funny she'll come say hi, ask me how life's going?, and then she'll say okay bye...i'm like why ask if you don't really want to know its frustrating
LaLa (9:58:01 PM): lol dag
stormyc14 (9:59:10 PM): so i'm always tempted to say stop talking to me
LaLa (10:00:17 PM): hahah
LaLa (10:00:18 PM): dont do it
LaLa (10:00:25 PM): be cordial and sincere even if she isnt
stormyc14 (10:00:11 PM): but why if it doesn't get me anywhere
LaLa (10:00:50 PM): jus do it
LaLa (10:00:56 PM): God appreciates it
stormyc14 (10:00:36 PM): yeah but can God get me some booty
LaLa (10:01:14 PM): u kno what
LaLa (10:01:16 PM): ur ridic
LaLa (10:01:19 PM): more ridic than me
LaLa (10:01:50 PM): jus think about all the bs i went thru to get where i am and with who i am

We continue...

stormyc14 (1:30:26 AM): well her hair is cute it has that bounce...and her chest isn't flat and i'm a chest man...so she can still get it
LaLa (1:31:04 AM): hahahah
LaLa (1:31:08 AM): she can get it. o boy
LaLa (1:31:11 AM): i bet she can
stormyc14 (1:31:16 AM): lol haha
LaLa (1:32:05 AM): ha
stormyc14 (1:32:40 AM): no really i'm not that bad
LaLa (1:33:30 AM): yea ok
stormyc14 (1:34:37 AM): i'm really quite the gentleman

And that was all he and she wrote.

I Just Came to the Realization

I just came to the realization that I don't like people.

a) I dislike people who lack substance.

b) I dislike people who are disrespectful.

c) I dislike people who are arrogant or ignorant.

d) I dislike people who get in my way.

Aside from the members of my family to whom I am closest, my circle of friends, my professional mentors and colleagues, and my blogger fam of course. There are few people who can meet my approval. It's not arrogance, conceitedness, or cockiness on my part. It's that I made a conscious decision to eliminate dead weight from my life. I cannot be weighed down, there's just too much to do.

Maybe it's because I have pretty high standards.

Or maybe it's what may very well be a weaknesses of mine.

That possible weakness: writing people off.

It's not that I make assumptions.

It's really that I use information I have: how you act around me, but more importantly how you act towards me, to make a judgement call. If I disapprove, you're X'ed. You're out, out of my life. I refuse to add chaos to my life.

It seems people therefore think that my being no nonsense equals hostility. I am not hostile. I am actually quite friendly. I like to smile. But I have a serious face...it says seriously don't F with me.

Sunday- "What you believe must be borne out by how you behave." -Unknown

Monday- "The thing that makes you exceptional is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." -Lorraine Hansberry

Tuesday- "[My parents] were comfortable with me exploring areas they were not proficient in." - Mae Jemison

Wednesday- "You know whom you love. You cannot know who loves you." -Yoruba Proverb

Thursday- "[As a young person, I was] socially retarded . I just had no clue on how to talk to girls." -Denzel Washington

Friday- "I would draw a circle on a piece of paper and my mother made me feel like Van Gogh." -Damon Wayans

Saturday- "You can never have too many people loving you and praying for you." -George Foreman