Best Friend #1 Comes for a Visit

"I want to adopt a white kid."

"What?"

"I want to adopt a White kid. I want to adopt a White, Asian, Hispanic, and Black kid. What? Katt Williams did it. And all of 'em except the White kid can use the N-word."

Then later.

"White women don't age well, so I don't really want to marry one for forever."

Then into completely different territory.

"Sex with her was like getting high ... I've never gotten high before but."

The person behind these ignorant remarks is a future teacher.

God save the children.

In case you can't tell the best friend is over. Let me clarify. Best friend #1, 1 of 3. Best friend #1 acquired during middle school. Best friend #2 acquired during high school. Best friend #3 acquired during college.

He's not generally this stupid. He must have had a drink before he came to visit. He denies it.

He came to visit primarily so we can see each other prior to graduation because his spring break is this week, mine this week, and the next time he returns will be post-graduation.

He wants me to go out to a bar now.

I don't quite know about this.

I'll let you all know if I decide to go.

Check out the latest audioblog for more.

Peace.

Buying Your Rewards

Today I purchased my cap and gown for $50.83.

Graduation day is May 17, 2008. Hooray. I cannot wait.

Though as I was reminded today I still have no job, or job offers of which to speak. Its semi-sad. I got an e-mail from someone I did a phone interview with on Friday that I did not make it past round 1. But it's whatev.

Congrats go out to my boy Eps cause he got a job. The negro's going to be a teacher like I always predicted. Oh lawd pray for the churren.

Back to the reason for the blog.

I purchased graduation invitations for $77.88. How the hell do a bunch of invitations cost more than the friggin cap and gown?

Then I ordered my copy of "Who's Who Among Students in American Universities & Colleges", and the key. How'd that come to $108.85?

Does it occur to anyone else that you have to buy your rewards?

If you're being awarded shouldn't something come for free, at a discount, shoot at a bargain?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

That is all.

-C. Nel

My Favorite Oscar Moment

I don't get to the movies nearly enough.

I watched mainly because it was a floor program in my dorms.

I think that some of the movies were good, some not so good.

The designer clothes. Ummm it was either red or black. So many people looked the same to me.

But I loved this:

One Right into the Other

Why do I feel like my weeks run together?

When the weekend comes I don't really get a break, I just think the intensity of deadlines relaxes a little.

I swear one week quickly turns into another.

Why do I feel like my days run together?

This week has already been nuts:

Monday:

7am WakeUp Call to shower, iron my clothes, fix my lunch, go to the bus stop

9am to 5pm Internship

5pm Leave to commute home

6:00pm Arrive on campus to eat dinner, chill

7:00pm Prepare for conference call

7:30 to 8: 45pm Conference Call

8:45pm to 1:00am E-mails, Return Phone Calls, Trying to Squeeze in the last bit of "A Raisin in the Sun"



Tuesday

10:45am Wake up

11:10am Call my professor

11:30am Go to pick up letter of rec for internship app

12:00pm Meeting with professor about independent study

12:45pm Return to room to shower

1:30 -2:45pm Attempt to do homework

3:00 to 5:30 Class

5:30-6:00 Hang and talk

6:00-6:45 Skim class readings

7:00 to 9:30 Class

9:30-10:00 Walk back to dorm, get change for bus fare for tomorrow, check e-mail

10:00 to 10:15 Meeting with RA Staff

10:15 to 10:45 Check in with residents

10:45 to 11:30 Work on panel I'm organizing for a big conference this summer

11:30 to 12:30 Phone calls and check e-mail

Really its like my days run together.

Maybe I'll breathe tomorrow night. I don't have class. But I have two assignments which are due on Thursday, and I have to mail off an internship app. I know post grad internship which might require time in South Dakota. That would be mighty interesting, but I conquered Illinois. So who knows?

The only relief spring break starts Saturday. I don't really have any plans but I may go visit friends in D.C. and NYC respectively. They've made requests for an appearance, so we shall see.

Lata ppl

Words of the Week

Sunday- “How can you hope to achieve and obtain on a wish and a whim? If you want to get somewhere then prepare yourself now for the place that you desire to go.” – Bishop Vashti McKenzie

Monday- “The forces of conformity are market-driven, driven by titillation and temptation, as opposed to decency and dignity." – Dr. Cornel West

Tuesday- “Love is the lifespring of our existence. The more love you give, the happier you feel and the more love you will have within you to give.” - Susan L. Taylor

Wednesday-“And so my own truth telling, as far as I’m able to muster up the courage to say what needs to be said, and that thing is on a continuum because all of us are made cowards by the realization that ultimately we have never said everything we’re supposed to say." - Dr. Michael Eric Dyson

Thursday- “We love because it's the only true adventure.” -- Nikki Giovanni

Friday- “There's no excuse for the young people not knowing who the heroes and heroines are or were.” –Nina Simone

Saturday-“ Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.” – Dick Gregory

State of the Black Union

I am currently watching "The State of the Black Union" on C-SPAN.

Let me just say Michael Eric Dyson is the man. He came and spoke at LoCo two years ago. He was on point speaking to a packed house of LoCo students and Bmore heads.



Anyway I'm a huge fan of Dyson's, which reminds me I still need to finish his book, "Why I Love Black Women."

On this day he was speaking to the divisiveness created by the presence of "difference" on the Democratic ticket namely race and gender.

Of course he said no one should be faulted for voting for Hillary or Barack. He flat out said Hillary is smarter than Bill. Interesting. He also noted that when a woman leader chooses to act with confidence and directness "she's called a B", but a man is called "self-confident and self-assured." The old double standard.

Then he turned to Barack,first he spoke to the fear that Barack will be killed he said, "let the Secret Service and God worry about that."

Then he refocused on the challenges faced by the two of them Hillary and Barack. He believes that they will both take into account their "difference" but not decide things based solely on that.

Of Obama specifically he said, "He is rooted in not restricted by his blackness."

I wish a lot of other leaders knew how to take into account those things which define them without letting them rule them entirely. Life is a balancing act as is leadership.

Military Woman

"You crush more than anyone I know."

My mentee told me that, a while ago. He's a tad nutty. This is the same mentee that called me a few nights ago to say if he didn't wake up, he just wanted to tell me that I was a good mentor. Atleast he thought to call. In case you're wondering, yes the nut woke up. I just need to instruct him no more drunk dials. I don't do drunk dials so he can't doo drunk dials.

But it is true. Every few months, or every few weeks I develop a new crush.

The latest I first peeped last year. This child didn't know me from Adam but always managed to smile and wave. I must admit nice and friendly people scare me, when they're nice and friendly for no reason. Nice and friendly without provocation can mean some things. Okay maybe cause I was in my room, in a self-imposed quarantine I saw too much lifetime. By the way this weekend I loved YaYa Dacosta's movie "Racing for Time" maybe cause it was producd by Baltimorean Charles S. Dutton. Also cause YaYa to me is the prototype intelligent, beautiful, articulate, charming, family oriented, grounded and a whole lot more. In case you're wondering I wasn't an Eva fan.

Anyway back to the crush. She kind of looks like YaYa in her own little way. It's funny, I remembered my crush on her cause I'm mad cool with her roommate. Her roommate is a little mentee of mine. My best friend at school asked me why I hadn't asked her out. You want to know why? I jumped way ahead into the future.

Here's part of our convo:
"Why don't you ask her out?"
"Oh no we ain't doing that."
"Why not?
"What if I like her?"
"I thought you already liked her."
"No, I don't know her like that to like her. I just said I think she's cute."
"Oh, ok. But why don't you just ask her out?"
"What happens if I like her. If I really like her? I mean I'm moving away in a bit, she'll be in the military for forever."
"Oh that's right she is ROTC."

The more I think about it, the more stupid it is. It's probably more a question of what to do if she says no. I hate having to deal with awkward circumstances. Blah. But maybe I'll suggest we do lunch or something. Or maybe I'll run the idea past her roomie first. Naw. Just saying. HaHa.

Words of the Week

Sunday -“In this severe trial I had constant access:. to God, and a clear consciousness that he heard me …” Julia A. J. Foote, early African American woman preacher, from “A Brand Plucked from Fire”

Monday- “The greatness of peoples springs from their ability to grasp the grand conceptions of being. It is the absorption of a people, of a nation, of a rare, in large majestic and abiding things which lifts them up to the skies.” – Alexander Crummell, early African American preacher

Tuesday- “When I was about eight, I decided that the most wonderful thing, next to a human being, was a book.” – Margaret Walker, author

Wednesday - “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” – August Wilson, playwright

Thursday – “One thing I learned from The New York Times and I learned from MacNeil/Lehrer — in the good journalistic institutions — is to respect my audience, my consumers. I've found in South Africa, in the most poverty-stricken communities, they often speak 11 languages or 10. They also have a very sophisticated understanding of their own condition, and you just have to give them that. You have to be able to listen.” – Charlayne Hunter-Gault, journalist

Friday - “College ain't so much where you been as how you talk when you get back.” –Ossie Davis, actor, civil rights activist

Saturday- “I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have” – Alice Walker, author

Happy Single Awareness Day

Happy Single Awareness Day aka Valentine's Day

I hope everyone has a great day.

To commemorate the event here's one of my faves



And if you know me you also know I have a fav song every week. This week it's this, this girl is fiya, even tho its not her song

Did I Hear Him Right?

Did I hear Roger Clemens say he started taking B-12 shots because of his mother?

For real Momma made you do it?

I don't know if he's lying or if his trainer McNamee is lying.

What I do know is that the belief that the lives of athletes and celebrities affect the lives of children is well founded. I know from working with kids but from also once being one that you do aspire to be like the people you see and recognize as successful.

I also know that I'm grateful growing up I had a balanced list of role models.

My mother surrounded me with examples of positive African American people. I had family who I admired and respected. I had my teachers. Yes, I respected Michael Jordan, was in love with Serena Williams and Marion Jones, and was saddened by the death of Arthur Ashe.

Thank God I saw these athletes, these accomplished individuals as successful, but in a more fundamental, much more basic way I saw them as people.

Anyone I ever aspired to be like which growing up was Thurgood Marshall when I aspired to be a federal judge, was Walter Massey former President of Morehouse College when I wanted to work in education, and was Ed Bradley/ Ed Gordon/ Tavis Smiley when I said I want to grow up to be an anchorman, I recognized as a person first.

When I think of what it means to embrace one's personhood I think of something I read in a fortune cookie the other day.

"A human being is a deciding being."

Yeah we make choices and we live by them. Sometimes we're right, sometimes we're wrong, and sometimes we're damn lucky it didn't matter one way or the other.

This Chelsea Business

I'm pretty neutral on this race thus far. I'll do a bit of research overnight before I go to vote tomorrow.

I am however annoyed by this Chelsea business.

So if you watch the above clip you'll see what the reporter said about Chelsea Clinton. I see how it can be seen as offensive, but I think there has been an overreaction. I understand the fine line journalists must walk, because we aren't commentators. At the same time public figures can't pick and choose when to be public figures.

Chelsea Clinton isn't the 12 year old kid she was when her father became president, she's a grown woman. I don't think its fair she can stump for her mother and not be expected to be exposed to criticism. Candidates wives or other supporters are being talked to and talked about. I don't think it's fair that the Clinton's continue to insist that the media be hands off Chelsea. She's a grown woman she should be held to the same standards as everyone else.

I think in this instance the Clintons are somewhat playing the media for some press.

Busy Busy Busy

Life just keeps on going. Someone said you do soo much. I have to be active or else I feel like I'm doing nothing. When I do nothing, I feel as if I'm neither growing or helping others grow. So in essence life is busy, busy, busy.


Saturday: I chilled out, tried to clean up my room cause during the week I do drive bys of my room, and I also rode around on one of the campus shuttles with my friend whose a student driver. Then on Saturday night I went to Senior 100s with my classmates. I found out one of my old roommates is engaged, it was kind of cute. His gf is so funny she holds up her finger and starts flashing. At first I was like early V-Day gift then I asked, "Uh is that the real thing? Is that an engagement ring?" Then I of course congratulated them. It was in the making, but a little early.



He's not a senior, he just thinks he is.



Apparently I broke the elevator, I really wanted to talk to whoever was on the elevator.

So maybe I had a little too much fun.


Sunday: Woke up. HaHa. Barely. Then I went to breakfast with a friend. Came back showered. Then I went to see my cousin and her two daughters who I adore, and went home for a few hours. Then I came back and had dinner with a few friends, they cooked, always good to have a woman or women cook for you. :-)

Monday: Went to bed around 5:00am. Woke up at 11am. I sent a gazillion e-mails. I then showered, ate, ironed my clothes, and got dressed. I had an interview for a paid internship, it went alright. Then I went to visit a friend at her office. Then I came back to school. I ate my mother's home cooking (fried chicken, brocoli, stuffing, and rice-a-roni.) Then I talked to my mother via phone. Tonight I am on duty, have a meeting in between duty rounds, tons of homework, and I'll try to catch part of Michelle Obama's interview along with the Tennessee Lady Vols taking on Rutgers Scarlet Knights in a rematch of last year's women's championship game, and then the Hoyas play tonight too.

Tuesday: I have breakfast with a group of senior leaders and our college president. I must then go home to VOTE. I also need get a haircut which will make it awfully tricky to have a meeting tomorrow with my independent study advisor, but it's a must. I have class tomorrow afternoon and night, then I have to go to a lecture, and then my day's capped off with a meeting at 10pm.

Wednesday: Since I don't have my TV internship this week, I want it to be meeting day, so I can meet with people and have them leave me alone. I believe I'm going to a reception representing the org on Wednesday.

Thursday: I have a photo shoot for the propaganda as J calls it. I think I'm appearing in some admissions or financial aid materials. Then I think I'll try to make it downtown to this conference.

Friday: Conference all day, I think. Maybe a club or bar? Iono.

Saturday: Conference, dinner? Homework? Taking a breath. Hanging out.

Words of the Week

Sunday- "Many of us harbor hidden low self-esteem. We deem everything and everyone more important that ourselves and think that meeting their needs is more important than meeting our own. But if you run out of gas, everyone riding with you will be left stranded."
-T.D. Jakes

Monday- "My view of respect is a circle. It is about symmetry. It's about reciprocity. Even if there are differences in knowledge and status and power and resources and skills, that respect is a great equalizer."
-Sarah Lawrence Lightfoot

Tuesday- "After listening to my heart and my gut, two things that have served me pretty well in the past..."
-Katie Couric

Wednesday- " Do the right thing in front of you, do the best you can with what you have right where you are."
-Tavis Smiley

Thursday- "I've learned to tell the truth in a more compassionate way. I'm trying to be a kinder and gentler speaker."
-Soledad O'Brien

Friday- "Any form of art is a form of power; it has impact, it can affect change it can not only move us, it makes us move."
-Ossie Davis

Saturday "I never really had the classic struggle. I had faith."
-Denzel Washington

The Things People Say

A while ago I started another blog where I had planned to record random conversations I have with people. Since I don't remember the password at the moment I feel the need to post here.

So the other day while sitting in the lounge for some reason the freshies were talking about sex. Apparently the hook up culture is their calling card. So one girl yells out, "I'm a virgin here." She goes on to explain she isn't actually a virgin but coming to school here has made her one. Interesting notion, the notion of virginity being able to be reasserted at certain times.

Then as I continued on to lecture a resident about something. He said, "I know, I know don't mess with you because you're a crazy motherfucker." I was a little taken aback and wondered where he had gotten got that idea. Apparently I've said that before. Sadly it does sound like something I'd say but I wasn't sure if I was joking or not.

Then my co-RA and I were talking about life. She was talking about her bf and how next week is their anniversary. They decided to begin dating a year ago Valentine's Day. She told me that people often ask why they chose V-Day. She said to me, "We're both economists (they're Econ majors) so we decided it would just be better if we each had to buy one gift." Hence their V-Day and anniversary wrapped all into one.

Then today I was having lunch with a friend. Somehow we got on dating and she shared she and one of her co-workers were talking about me and my dating life at some point in the week. My friend said, " So she asked me why are you single? She kept saying but Chris is sooo intelligent and sooo nice. I just said he doesn't date because he's "C. Nel" ." I couldn't stop laughing.

She then went on to lecture me about something superficial like dress or some nonsense at which point I zoned out and focused on my lunch.

And that's today's edition of The Things People Say.

Things I've Discovered Recently

#1: I become obsessed with one song at a time. The latest:
The female a capella group at school sang it the two times I've seen them, the only two times in my school career both within the last two weeks.



#2 I hate ruining the way things look so gifts like this one I got in Texas stay wrapped for inordinate amounts of time.



#3 I never really remember my dreams, and if I do they're never in full. I'll remember slight details like yesterday I dreamt I was in an airport going through airport security dreading having any liquid in my carry on. Can't you tell I need to escape?



#4 It's quite possible that I cuss too much. See there I was probably in the midst of saying an expletive or atleast preparing to say one. And it's not because I'm unintelligent, it's more because people respond to it a little quicker.





#5 It's quite possible I've gained maybe 10 pounds since the beginninng of school. You see the above picture of my skinnier self. That below picture shows my face in particular a little chunky. I may need to hop onto "The Challenge."

"The Challenge" is something a few of my friends from high school came up with. They decided that a group of about 5 of them would challenge each other to go to the gym atleast three times a week. Many of them are freshman so it's probably a way to keep off the freshman 15, mine must be the senior 15. It's a bit ridic. Schedule permitting I may hop onto to the challenge, if it isn't too late.

My Life, My Life, My Life

Life this week has been crazy.

Monday: Part of my bulletin board was ripped down and I was pissed. Add to this the fact that I was not a fan of the internship I had at a local T.V. station which I had to go to shortly after finding my bulletin board was ripped, on Monday I was an unhappy soul. Thankfully the person who ripped down the board admitted it.

Tuesday: After dealing with the residents and their mess this weekend, I had to meet with my supervisor. I can't stand her. I don't like her. I don't trust her, I don't talk to her about anything aside from work and barely that. I think that she's a kiss ass, I think she's fake, I think she's annoying, and I know she has unreasonable expectations of us the RA's. So I deal with her sparingly, and I let her know when I'm really tuning her out. My friends think the tension exists because she's about a year older than me. I'd say the tension exists cause she sucks at her job because of all the above said reasons.



Wednesday: My co-RA and I had a floor meeting. That's the two of us at our banquet at the beginning of the year. Apparently I cuss too much. Oh well. Someone's getting the point. A kid came and apologized for those ignorant signs. We had a good long talk about entitlement and why i have a problem with so many of the kids here sometimes. I challenged him to be a role model and to convince his friends to do right.



I also resigned my internship and accepted another one. I felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my soldiers.

Thursday: I had no classes. Yay. But I am a little behind on an assignment. Since I'm on duty tonight I'm a little too distracted to deal with it. I think I'll wake up in the morning and try to knock a lot of it out.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the concert for the school's a capella groups, because I brought a ticket. If I didn't have a ticket I'd probably be going to the Reginald F. Lewis Museum for African American History for a open mic night.

Saturday is a senior event it must be 100's. Which means there are 100 days left of school give or take a few.

Sunday I may go home for a bit, and then I'm having dinner with some friends.

I Almost

I almost quit my job as an RA on multiple occassions.

Saturday morning: I get awaken by a fellow RA @ 8:30am to help clean her lounge which is trashed including cookies crushed into carpet. My own lounge is a little disshevled. So I take the remote control to the big screen TV. I then forbade students from watching T.V. or playing videogames. Yes, I confiscated the videogames. I said if I caught someone during either they'd have a judicial hearing.

Know what these mofo's did.

Wrote notes such as

"We don't need a TV to make a mess" and taped it to the bigscreen.

TOOK IT DOWN.

Then came

"40,000 a year?"

TOOK IT DOWN.

and

"44,000 a year? (Do not remove)"

I TOOK THAT DOWN TOO.


Sunday: I used about half of my four month budget to buy pizza for the Super Bowl party. I then let them watch the Superbowl.

Monday: I woke up to see part of my bulletin board was ripped down. I refuse to redo it.

These little spoiled rich kids blow me. I'm so through.

I only have class one day a week I can sure as hell commute til May. Don't try me.

If there's one thing I don't do it's disrespect.

I repeatedly told residents when they asked when and if they were getting the T.V. back.

"If people continue to act like children, I will treat them like children. If people choose to act like adults, I will treat them like adults."

That is all.

Words of the Week

Sunday-“God talks incessantly. But, as it turns out, mankind is deaf.” -Don Williams Jr.

Monday- “A joy shared is a joy doubled.” - Unknown

Tuesday- "It is the calm and silent water that drowns a man." -Ashanti of Ghana

Wednesday-"Who wants to be well-adjusted to injustice? What kind of human being do you want to be?”- Cornel West

Thursday- “Our visions begin with our desires.”- Audre Lorde

Friday-“The cause of freedom is not the cause of a race or a sect, a party or a class-it is the cause of human kind, the very birthright of humanity.” -Anna Julia Cooper

Saturday- "“The best response to the long list of social ills is to put into effect the Noah principle. That is, stop looking for credit for predicting the rain, its time to start building an ark.” - Johnetta B. Cole

Blessed

So the other night I was thinking that there are few moments when I can even begin to think, my life is really all that bad. Yes, I moan and groan like a lot of people when things don't go my way. I'm coming to realize however that at the end of the day I'm extremely blessed.

Take for instance a few examples from this past week.

1) No money: I got an unexpected refund check from school.

2) Sucky internship: I had an interview today and was offered another internship.

3) Feeling a tad disconnected from people: A number of friends picked up the phone, or responded to Facebook messages.


4) Tired: I still haven't solved this, but I'm alive, so I got time LoL.

5) Bad Meals- I ate off campus a few times. One of my new faves BLT on Pita from this local place S'getti Eddie's.

So I'm happy. I've smiled a time or two. Now it's bed time.

G'nite all