Sunday- “If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.”-John Maxwell

Monday- “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”-Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday-“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”-Maria Robinson

Wednesday-“It's so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right.”-George Bernard Shaw

Thursday-“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.”-Mark Twain

Friday-“Remember, always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Always remember, others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.”-Richard M. Nixon

Saturday-“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”-Ethel Barrymore

I Don't Know What To Think

Listening : Ciara, Ciara: The Evolution
Reading: Tha Bloc
Doing: Posting This, About to Shower, and Head to Lunch w/ One of the two Best Friends



I had written off girls until atleast after New Year's haha when last night I got a message from an old friend. She IMed me, and told me she was home from school for break, and working, but that she was off for two days next week. So I figured that she'd want to meet up for lunch or whatnot. We try to get together whenever she's home from school, since she goes to school down south. But my thing is why did she IM me, why did she say she would call me? I mean we're cool or whatever, but we don't hang like that. Part of me started getting too excited, thinking too hard, heart racing, overanalyzing just because. It's easier to sabotage whatever may happen by getting worked up, than by just seeing what happens. Part of the reason I don't know what to think is, there's some attraction there. I think it's on both sides, pretty sure. We flirt without flirting, there's that awkwardness that's there, when you're not trying to show your hand. Then my mind automatically reverts back to her Facebook Status: In A Relationship. Damn, damn, damn. That just complicated things all the more. So I'm back to square one, I don't know what to think. She's a great girl and all, and I want to see her, but there's this attraction thing, that kind of sort of complicates things LoL.

Hav Plenty

One of my fav movies of all time:

Synopsis:
A romantic comedy about a super-broke would-be novelist and sometimes homeless person who has been living on the streets of New York and off his friends while waiting for his fate to change. One of those friends is the beautiful, wealthy Havilland Savage, who invites Lee to a small gathering at her family's Washington D.C. home for New Year's Eve. Lee finds himself readily accepted and in several cases pursued by the rest of Hav's friends and family: Hav's high maintenance, high-octane best friend Caroline, Hav's newlywed and still uncertain sister Leigh, Hav's old prep-school pal Bobby, and Hav's mysteriously prescient grandmother. Lee journeys through it all not wanting anything, except to leave. Or does he? What if Lee were to own up to the fact that he wants Hav? Would Hav have him, if he has less than plenty?

-http://www.hollywood.com/movies/fulldetail/id/174079

Yes I own it, on DVD, and my mother contends that I have spent too many days and nights watching it, but its good.

Complexity of the Music, Complexity of the Human Heart

So earlier tonight I had a debate with a friend whose a few years younger about what classifies good music. I had to say that many of today's "singers" do not always classify as true "artists", cause some of what I hear on the radio is not "good music". I so felt what my mother used to always tell my sister and I, "Ya'll don't know what good music sounds like. " In my mind I could so see her doing her face all funny, listening to the music, snapping her fingers, and starting to step. Apparently my mother could dance in her day, she likes to remind me, and threaten to show me at the next family function.

So after being disgusted when told who some good "artists" were I threw in the Jill Scott and came across what I feel is one of Jill Scott's best songs "Cross My Mind"

Part of the song goes:

"I was just thinking about you, wondering what you doing I mean what you've been up to
I know its wrong feeling this strong let me take a second minute I will think this thing through

I was just thinking about you, wondering what you doing I mean what you've been up to
I know its wrong feeling this strong let me take a second minute I will think this thing through"

This song resonated with me a few years back and even today, especially today. I get a facebook message from a young fellow, who is feenin for one of my friends. I don't know him, but he knows I know her very well. I guess I seemed like a geniune enough person to bounce his frustrations off of, and so I entertained him. Said young man could definitely relate to this song, cause my girl is running through his mind. She is definitely not interested, and definitely needs to tell him. So he can a) move on which is the healthiest thing for him b) leave her alone c) stop being made fun of by her friends, cause they clown him terribly.

I don't know why sometimes we grab onto, hold onto the idea that there is this one person who can in our minds right all the world's wrongs. I don't understand how it is that they not believe they can be our cure all, our save all. I don't know why there isn't all the time this unified vision on the part of two people. Well I guess there is, and those people end up united. But why is it so damn difficult for others of us? Hmm so I wonder.

Happy Holiday's

Sunday- Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. – Hamilton Wright Mabie

Monday- Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.– Charles Schulz

Tuesday- Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind.– Mary Ellen Chase

Wednesday- We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.–Winston Churchill

Thursday- If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.– Gerald Good

Friday- Some complain that roses have thorns… others rejoice that thorns have roses! – Anonymous

Saturday- Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.–Henry Clay

P.S. Here's wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons, and a very Happy New Year. May you get what you want, and give what is needed, but both with grateful hearts. ;-)

Perpetually Conflicted

Oh, so it's the holiday's. It's that time of year where we get nostalgic, and we reminisce, but the time of year where we also meditate on the future.

So as one semester closes, and as the seasons change, I look back and I look forward.

I look back to when I was getting ready to come to college. Why? Because I've become a de facto college counselor to my friends who are members of '007, and to students at the school where my mother works.

Here's a convo from last night. I was talking to a friend who anxiously awaits more news from colleges, as others are beginning to find out.

stormyc14 (12:26:37 AM) : lol i mean i am really proud lol, i think i'm happier for ya'll then i was for me, i mean i still remember ya'll freshman year, the lunch tables, the me kirking out and acting like a fool, but ya'll 3LW strong as ever, and now to see ya'll come into ya'll own is surreal, i mean ryan actualli talks now, lol AND URS IS COMING, YOU TOO GOOD FOR THEIR TO NOT BE GOOD NEWS ON UR BEHALF
LilBrownEyes07(12:25:13 AM) : i think thats so beautiful tho
LilBrownEyes07(12:25:19 AM) : for all of us, black, in the same friend group
LilBrownEyes07(12:25:23 AM) : i mean them!
LilBrownEyes07(12:25:26 AM) : lol gettin accepted
LilBrownEyes07(12:25:31 AM) : thats beauty right there

So since she didn't get accepted right there, I had to pump her up.


stormyc14 (12:30:32 AM) : lol but b4 i go to sleep i'mma pray to god that u get into penn or emory, right now at this moment i'm feelin emory so i'll pray harder for that one, then i'mma pray bianca gets into fordham, then i'mma pray ya'll all get money, then i'mma pray i get a gf


Then later

LilBrownEyes07 (12:33:21 AM): thanks for ur encouragement as always!

I am pretty good at the advice giving.

But as you notice from my last comment, I think people rejoice in my self-deprecation.

But it's funny. My young friends are deciding where to go to college, my old friends are deciding which grad program to go to, and I'm like ummm, can I just make it to next week. Haha, but on a more serious note, I think the holiday break, mine will be brief, will give me time to reflect on where I stand, and where I need to go from here.

Big ups to any of my friends who read this who are into college, into grad school, or into med school. Special ups to the other best friend KG for the four med school acceptances, so he'll be able to give a brother a loan when he struggling.

P.S. One more final: A take home I got to do tonight. Ha, then its over!

Words to Ponder

Sunday- Hope is the thing that is left to us in a bad time.- E.B. White

Monday- In order to make change you have to challenge.- Pat Ford

Tuesday- There is a difference between what's important and what's urgent.- Jesse Jackson Jr.

Wednesday- When someone sees your drive and passion, they're going to give you what you need.- Jonathan Quarles

Thursday- You are writing your history right now, the history of your life. -Ingrid Saunders-Jones

Friday- Sometimes we are at our highest when our fortunes are lowest.-Tavis Smiley

Saturday- Let no one or nobody lower your standards. Take nothing less than the highest honor.-Stanley F. Battle

TIME

So on Friday night I had the pleasure of taking in a performance of a local spoken word duo The 5th L. Their performance took place at a local art museum. It was nice to be able to get out and catch the performance, after a week which had been spent mostly studying for exams. At the end of the performance, the duo performed a poem entitled "A Matter of Time". It was the last lines of that poem which ultimately spoke to me, and connected with me.

"Time measures life's motions
Different directions it keeps going
Destination unknown
Like the weather
When the wind is blowing past you
Time waits for no man
So while I sit and brood, I ask myself
'how you gonna waste time
like it was made just for you?'"

This was just a reminder of how precious life is, and that time is of the essence. Time is sometimes our greatest luxury, but certainly not one we can take for granted.

As I thought about how precious life is, how precious our time I browsed The NY Times website and saw that yesterday there was a protest concerning the shooting death of Sean Bell. If you've been under a rock, and thus haven't heard about the shooting of the 23 year old father of two. Check out yesterday's article by clicking here..

What this immediately brought to mind was the fact that not only was Bell engaged to his high school sweetheart, but he was also the father of two young daughters. I was reminded of watching his fiancee's interview on CNN a few weeks back. The interview was almost too hard to watch, without tears coming to my eyes. Nicole Paultre wasn't bitter or even angry during the interview. I think Stanley Crouch's editorial accurately depicts her courage and strength during the interview.

I then remembered reading that Paultre had taken her late fiancee's last name, Bell, in rememberance of him. It was touching and heartbreaking at the same time. It showed her commitment to formally uniting with him, even in death. What becomes abundantly clear when one learns of their story is that they shared a love for one another, and for their 3 year old and 6 month old daughters Jada and Jordyn.

Then curiousity drove me to find now interview with Essence Magazine which in effect told a classic love story.

One can only lift them up in prayer, and pray that Nicole has continued strength to raise those two beautiful little girls. Maybe with time, they can grow into young women who will understand how much their father loved them.

Late Night/Early Morning Convo

HaHa last night or early this morning my roommate and I couldn't fall asleep, so we stayed up talking from like 12:30am till about 2:30am, when he had to wake up to study for his 9am final, and me for my 1pm final.

We covered a lot of ground the convenience of domestic travel or lack thereof, the joys and pains of international travel, relationships, careers, and a bit more.

At one point we had the following exchange:

Me: If the girl know's how you feel, but doesn't pick the ball up and keep going, what do you do?
Ed: You keep dribbling.

I had to ask Ed. He and his girlfriend Allison celebrate two years next month, he's giving me lessons on how to get what they have LoL. But he contends he's just lucky, and doesn't have skills to teach.

P.S. I'm done two classes, trying to finish up two more. Yea for the weekend!

I Should Really Thinking on the Origins of Politics But I'm Thinking On

Christopher is thinking on this "Women are women, some are poison, some are sweet."

Why is that almost anytime you ask a girl, how another girl looks the response is negative.

I asked a friend's opinion of this girl I like with the full knowledge, that it's only my opinion that mattered.

What do I get but this:
texas (10:57:25 PM): and ps... shes not that pretty
stormyc14 (10:57:29 PM): ur so mean
texas (10:57:37 PM): no
texas (10:57:42 PM): honest
stormyc14 (10:57:43 PM): in my eyes she's gorgeous lol
texas (10:57:52 PM): well thats all that matters
stormyc14 (10:59:22 PM): but why do u say that? ur the second person whose said that, but both of u r girls
texas (10:59:58 PM): cuz.. ur eyes are the only eyes that matter
stormyc14 (11:00:25 PM): answer the question erika
texas (11:01:01 PM): what do u mean..
stormyc14 (11:01:25 PM): why is she "not that pretty"?
texas (11:01:56 PM): oh... i dunon
texas (11:03:22 PM): ive seen a lot prettier
stormyc14 (11:03:28 PM): lol u have no criteria which u judged her based on lol, u just said hmmmm she's not pretty lol
texas (11:03:41 PM): i saw her pic
texas(11:03:44 PM): shes not pretty
texas (11:03:50 PM): physically i mean
stormyc14 (11:03:57 PM): lol what is pretty?
texas (11:04:48 PM): no her
stormyc14 (11:04:53 PM): lol omg
texas (11:04:57 PM): but thats my eyes talkin
stormyc14 (11:05:06 PM): whoa wow whoa
texas (11:05:11 PM): chill out... its just my opinion
stormyc14 (11:05:19 PM): no i'm calm, just curious is all

Women, women, women.

A Moment to Dig Deep

So when I made the most recent trip out of town to a conference, one of the charges for us all was to dig deep. When we were tired, drained, frustrated, confused, or feeling any sort of way which had us unenchanted, we were told to dig deep. "Give 120%", they'd often say. If ever there is a time to dig deep it's during exam times. And sometimes being that I am not only a student at a Catholic institution, but a Jesuit one, I find myself going back to my middle school roots. That's when and where I first figured out who the heck St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits was, and found myself having to repeat daily his prayer of generosity.

St. Ignatius' Prayer for Generosity

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve as you deserve;
To give and not to count the cost,
To fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest.
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing I do your most holy will.
Amen.

A Little Freaked

My roommate whose a psych major was discussing the sound that folks over a certain age cannot hear. So in order to illustrate his point he played the "mosquito sound", my direct roommate and one of the other roommates could hear it, I can't. It's not made up read the NPR article I linked via this entry's title. Am I inching towards death, going deaf, getting old, or acting old?

Word to the Wise

Sunday- "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven."-John Milton, author

Monday-"My country is the world, and my religion is to do good."-Thomas Paine, journalist

Tuesday-"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."-Annie Dillard, author

Wednesday-"Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you."-Wally "Famous" Amos, The Cookie Man :-)

Thursday- "Never give advice unless asked."-German Proverb

Friday-"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind." -William James , philosopher


Saturday-"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."-Robert Louis Stevenson, poet

"What About the Children"

What about the children
To ignore is so easy
So many innocent children would choose the wrong way
So what about the children
Remember when we were children
And if not for those who loved us and who cared enough to show us
Where would we be today
-Excerpt Yolanda Adam's "What About the Children"

Last week I was away, so therefore I was in a new vacuum.

So when I heard about a mother allegedly microwaving her baby I was shocked, appalled, a little bit frightened, but mostly sad.

Then when I heard about a 2 month old baby who was drunk on vodka, I began thinking what is the world coming to?

A REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE

At our planning weekend for last week's diversity leadership conference we had to write a statement to conference participants, I wrote the following:

Dear Students:

As you begin this conference my hope for you is that this will be a transformative experience for you. I can remember attending my first conference five years ago, and I look back on how that experience transformed my life. Going to my first SDLC found me unsure of how I could contribute to my school community. Leaving left me devoted to changing things for the better, and driven to leading others in embracing diversity.
The work that you will eventually do is never easy. The work of diversity practitioners is never ending, because our work lives through us. Commit yourself to living an experience where you can change,a nd where you grow.
Remember always to acknowledge difference, affirm the voices of others, and accept our individualities as being key to our reality.
There should be loyalty to purpose: to be a servant leader, working with and for others, but also working to improve self.

Regards,
Christopher

Monday- arriving in a snowy Spokane for a nearly two hour delay, finally making it to Seattle a city that didn't know how to deal with snow (cause they rarely ever see any), waiting nearly 2 hours in the cold for a cab, arriving at the airport at 9am and the hotle at 1am.
Tuesday-spending all day working.
Wednesday-conference participants arriving and the excitement of getting down to action.
Thursday- a packed day of meeting some remarkable young people.
Friday- a day of intense work with some fun, fun, fun.
Saturday- the sadness associated with leaving folks who I've made geniune connections with
Sunday- leaving and feeling as if the work had just begun

I've been so blessed these last few months. So I am grateful, mindful that I have been blessed to meet some amazing people and do some amazing things.

That phrase from that gospel song "Give Thanks" which says "Give thanks with a grateful heart" is my theme right now.

P.S.
See some of my pics below, maybe I'm put em on Shutterfly, but you Facebook people can see the albums at your leisure!

Me with one of the students 

My partner for the week, my co-facilitator Barnali and I 

The entire faculty 

Me walking off stage after the faculty was recognized for our service at the student diversity leadership conference 

Words to Ponder

Sunday- "Live your potential not your circumstance."- Samaria Graham

Monday- "Make sure your dreams for yourself are always bigger than what they are today." -Ingrid Saunders-Jones

Tuesday- "You shouldn't be doing anything you are not passionate about."-Angie L. Reese-Hawkins

Wednesday- "I've learned that after you've been hurt, you can't just focus on your hurt, you have to look at the lesson in it. When you babysit the hurt, you never learn the lesson."- Juanita Bynum

Thursday- "You can't really deny love...no matter what the situation is."-Mya Marie Harrison

Friday-"Fight for it, be brave, risk everything. Because if you don't, you risk even more."- Unknown

Saturday- "Only stupid people get bored."-Salma Hayek