Difficult Days

These past few days have been among the most difficult of my life, and have undoubtedly been the most difficult days for me in recent history.

On Friday afternoon, I placed a call to my aunt, who is also my godmother, because I needed a favor. I was surprised to hear her youngest daughter answer the phone, and even more surprised when I called her eldest daughter, and was told she was in the hospital.

The next few hours were pure hell, I've never been but I have a faint idea. Not knowing what was wrong with my aunt, whether her ailment was physical, or mental is what had me most concerned. The uncertainty of the situation in effect froze me with fear. I rushed home to see if I could find anything which would let my cousins, doctors, or anyone else know what was wrong with her, but to no avail I was just as confused as before.

On Saturday I spent five hours in the hospital going in and out of the hospital room, steering people in and out of the waiting room, and keeping in close contact with both her daughters. On Sunday, I spent another three hours in the hospital. And today I skipped my last class of the day, in order to be there if only she needed something.

I was hopeful because we talked some, she asked me about classes, we convinced her to eat something, if only a piece of bread. I was hopeful, but by night's end I was worried again. I was afraid again.

It's a scary thing seeing someone you love, someone you care about, someone you respect not be their normal self. It's a scary thing just to see a loved one suffering whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual.

It's taken all I've had to break down and cry, I don't cry. I may be a tad emotional, but seldom do I shed tears.

The tears have welled up, and they haven't come yet, but I have a feeling the river will begin to flow.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

-CNEL

Food for Thought

Sunday-The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Monday-For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Tuesday-"The artist must actively cultivate that state which most people avoid: the state of being alone."
-James Baldwin

Wednesday-"I suspect that every writer is secretly writing for someone."
-Brewster Ghiselin

Thursday-
"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. "
-Robert Frost

Friday-Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

Saturday-Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there.
-Will Smith

My Letter to the Editor for Loyola's School Newspaper

It has been 80 years since historian Carter G. Woodson founded Negro History Week which has now become known as Black History Month or African American Heritage Month. In the eyes of some setting aside one month in which to focus on black history seems exclusive, some would argue that doing something such as this fails to encourage inclusivity, and racial harmony.

There are those who would argue that Black History Month is used in order to guilt trip those who are well-represented in American society. Some say that black history month focuses too much on making people feel bad about slavery, discrimination and rascism.The fact is there are instances in which one can feel overburdened and pressured into feeling a certain away about the realities of our past. So often we are taught and conditioned to be have certain feelings, to do certain things, and to react in certain ways.

Some of my non-black friends have remarked that they don't have a problem with the heritage of African-Americans and other blacks being celebrated, but that at times they do feel that they are being blamed for the sins of the past.

Some of my African-American and black friends feel that one month isn't enough time to celebrate the past, present, and future of African-Americans, and other blacks. "Why did they have to give us the shortest month of the year?" "Why can't our history be taught 365 days a year?" "When will we recognize there is more to our history than slavery and the civil rights movement?"

There is an abundance of questions, an abundance of concerns on both sides of the issues.
Some people have asked, who is doing anything constructive with the abundance of history that we have at our disposal? Is Black History Month being used to create some sort of a dialogue to resolve still unsettled issues?

The Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman, an African-American with roots in the American south, and someone, who in his career has had to overcome racism and discrimination, said that the idea of Black History Month is "ridiculous" and he later added, "I don't want a Black History Month. Black history is American history."

We all bear a certain amount of responsibility for the mistakes of the past. "It's been said that every future has a past," and it's our job to recognize our past, and our present, and not make the same mistakes in the future.

Black History and African-American should be celebrated on a regular basis they are a part of fabric of this nation and the world.

All our stories, all our histories, all our heritages are pieces of a puzzle, a puzzle which wouldn't come together if we didn't have all the pieces. This month is our chance to get a more complete history to come to an understanding of underrepresented peoples, of unreported stories, the his-tories and the her-stories of a complex people.

Weekly Words

Sunday-"The Lord was pleased to strengthen us, and remove all fear from us, and disposed our hearts to be as useful as possible."-Richard Allen, clergyman

Monday-"We can never have too much preparation and training. We must be a strong competitor. We must adhere staunchly to the basic principle that anything less than full equality is not enough. If we compromise on that principle our soul is dead."- Dr. Ralph Bunche, Diplomat and Educator

Tuesday-"The most enduring contributions made to civilization have not been made by brawn, they have been made by brain."-Benjamin Hooks, Former President of the NAACP

Wednesday-"When you hate, the only one that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don't know it and the rest don't care." - From the movie The Ghosts of Mississippi attributed to Medgar Evers and Myrlie-Evers Williams, Civil Rights Leader

Thursday-"To be afraid is to behave as if the truth were not true."- Bayard Rustin, Civil Rights Leader

Friday-"Racism is not an excuse to not do the best you can."- Arthur Ashe, Athlete

Saturday-"I believe in me more than anything in this world."- Wilma Rudolph, Athlete

"The Boys of Baraka"

At a time when many of the young black boys who’ve grown up in the inner city imagine their ticket out as being a chance at the N.B.A and N.F.L, or a lucrative recording contract, it’s refreshing to see that some youngsters know that obtaining a quality education is yet another option. Last week I had the opportunity to see a screening of “The Boys of Baraka” a documentary film which chronicled the experience of 12 young black boys from Baltimore, who spent one year in Kenya, at a boarding school there which was “The Baraka School’. The film which shows us the process which led to those 12 boys boarding a plane and heading to Africa back in 2002 shows us how that journey impacted their lives.

The film begins with a look at Baltimore, at some of the neighborhoods which like neighborhoods in other urban centers reside in the shadow of the downtown area. With those images we get a sense of where “The Boys of Baraka” come from, and we also get a sense of what their mostly poor and working class neighborhoods look like. There are kids who run around what are public housing developments, kids who play cops and robbers, and kids who are well aware of the dangers of the city. They are well aware of the pervasive forces which work against them drugs, crime, poverty, and sadly enough failing schools. The obstacles that young boys and girls, but most especially young boys in Baltimore face are daunting. As Mavis Jackson, an admissions officer for the school tells the boys, the odds are not necessarily in their favor, and they have choices to make. Ms. Jackson states the options clearly and plainly they are, “An orange jumpsuit and bracelets, a black suit in a brown box or a black cap and gown.” With over ¾ of the boys who attend Baltimore’s public schools failing to graduate from high school, there is a sense of urgency with trying to convince these boys to “straighten up and fly right.”

In the film we don’t just see the typical depiction of boys in the hood, we see so much more. Through the eyes of Devon Brown, Montrey Moore, Richard Keyser, and Romesh Vance we see what these kids are yearning for is knowledge, but most importantly that what they are seeking is an opportunity. Whether it’s Devon the aspiring preacher, whose impromptu sermon at the beginning of the film brings laughter, whether it’s Montrey whose mother wants to keep her son from falling victim to the streets, whether it’s Richard who visits his father in prison and vows never to head back there, or Romesh, Richard’s little brother, whose mother fought hard to have both boys accepted because she said to school officials, “Don’t make one a king and the other a killer.” We see these boys embrace Africa, and embrace a new way of life.

It’s a story about the reality of urban life in America, the reality of the education system, but it is also an amazing story of hope for generations of African-Americans who are far removed from Africa, but in this film we see that Africa for those twelve boys serves as a place of rebirth, by the end of the film we see that “Baraka” has fulfilled its meaning for those boys it has been a “blessing”.

Yesterday, February 16 was Insane

I woke up at 6am, and mind you I don't even get up at 6am to be to my 8am class ontime. The only time I'm up that early is to study for a test or quiz.
I was on the bus stop at 7am, all the buses I needed were crowded and weren't going as far as I needed them to go.
I rode downtown, and then took the subway all the way to the county and the area near my high school alma mater.
I then walked in slush and mush to the high school in a wool peacoat, sweater, sexy dress shirt, nice slacks, and tennis shoes.
I got there at 9:40.
I watched the Black Awareness at my old high school rip it up.
I got a ride back to the subway, and made it back to campus for my 12:15pm class.
I went to class until 1:30, then grabbed lunch, and came back to eat in my room.
I went to work at 2:30, and got off at 6:00.
I rode with my coworker to get gas, she was too funny because New Jersey heads, don't pump their own gas, "This is like my second time pumping gas."
I went to the TV station around 6:45, and spent the next 5 or so hours there.
We shot a pilot for our new news, talk, and interview program, "News and Views", it turned out okay, except I had one half a popped collar the whole show. So one collar on my shirt was tucked in, and one stayed out.
The blooper reel is heelarious, I read my copy, sucked it up, and exclaimed very loudly, "Oh s*** (sugar)" really loudly it was utterly priceless.
I am about to see if I have any homework which requires my immediate attention, and hit the hay. I don't care about eating though I ate today cookies for breakfast, pizza for lunch, drunk plenty of juice and water, but still didn't have dinner.
I don't care cause I have an 8am, a 9am, anchoring, an 11am, a meeting with my professor, and then work from 1pm-6pm.
Lawd, lawd, lawd, but you know what I figured out a lot of things about myself, or was reminded of things about myself.
1) I need a girlfriend, why because if I have 2.5 hrs to travel to my high school, I got time to treat a woman like a queen.
2) I need to learn to say no, just because I make too many promises, and keep them. I think at a point people take your word for granted, and believe they can use and abuse you. My name is CNEL and that just ain't happening.
3) I should not volunteer to do everything, I should not agree to do. Stuff is time consuming, and me and time fight all the time, and time wins hands down.
4) Loyola has made me cuss like a sailor. Watching the blooper reel, I didn't realize I could exclaim such a word.
Aiight I'm tired, and I need to be productive tomorrow, and to get attacked by kids who have a four day weekend.

Hey You

Here's an old poem of mine from August of 2004. This is dedicated to all of you out there in hopes that you have a great Valentine's Day. Love others, but most importantly love yourself!

Hey You,
I don't know what to say. You don't know me yet. I don't know you. I just thought I'd introduce myself in hopes that you'd one day be more than just "you." I'm the love of your life. The greatest love of all. You don't know it yet but one day you're going to fall. Fall in love with me and stay there.
I just hope you have fun getting here. I can't wait to meet you. There is so much I want you to know. So many people I want you to meet. So many things we must do. I'm so excited to be your greatest love of all.
Love Always,
The One

Snow Day Diddy aka "A Woman's Right to Call"

A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CALL
by Me- CNEL
I can't call myself a feminist
So can I call myself a womanist?
I believe in a woman's right
especially one above all.
I believe in A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CALL.
If I can pick up a phone,
she can too.
If I can express interest,
then so can you..
I believe in A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CALL.
If I can overcome the nervousness then,
she can too.
If I can put aside the anxiety,
then so can you.
I believe in A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CALL.

A Weekend of Mines (Yes I Know Mines is not a Word)

* Note: Ebonics/slanguistics is an art form LoL so excusez moi LoL.

This weekend was great for the most part:
I went to see "The Boys of Baraka" on Friday night, it was awesome. I'll write a review and post it later in the week.
I went to visit my old internship at the TV station on Saturday.
I also did some reading I needed to catch up on.
I talked to my friend Britt, who I hadn't seen in forever.
Then I watched TV and I went to sleep.

And then there was today:
So it snowed last night and earlier today, and part of me had been wanting snow, but only so that I might have a chance at a snow day. Then I realized that since I am in college at a urban school, on a mostly residental campus, the chance for a snow day is slim to none.

I woke up at around 10:00pm IMed people, e-mailed people, researched the news for my show, typed up the information for my show, watched some TV and chilled.

Then I worked to resolve the issue which has been on my mind the entire weekend.

Okay so yesterday as we all know I had cold feet, and did not call the aformentioned girl, see the posts from 2-10 and 2-11-06.

Today My Girl L gave me a much needed wake up call see below:

Me (2:42:10 PM):i punked out and didn't call ol girl, so now I'm like she prolly goin be like this boy is playing games
My Girl L(2:42:16 PM): how?
My Girl L(2:42:30 PM): when did she give u the number
Me (2:42:37 PM): friday
Me (2:42:43 PM): I sent her a text
My Girl L(2:42:51 PM): boi if u dont stop trippin and call her now
Me(2:42:55 PM): and she didn't respond so what do you think that means
My Girl L (2:42:57 PM): U THINK WAYYY TOO MUCH
Me(2:42:59 PM): I'm scurred L
My Girl L (2:43:03 PM): u act like ur only chance was yesterday.
My Girl L (2:43:09 PM): I THINK IT MEANS CALL HER
My Girl L (2:43:14 PM): STOP IT! ur killing me
Me (2:43:21 PM): lol
Me (2:43:39 PM): lol my cell has one bar
My Girl L(2:43:56 PM): who cares
My Girl L(2:44:15 PM): den u have an excuse to get off the fone if u start kirkin uout
Me(2:44:23 PM): lol
My Girl L(2:44:39 PM): stop reading into things...call her wat is there to lose?
Me (2:44:49 PM): my reputation
Me (2:45:02 PM): but then again since i blogged about it, that's already gone
My Girl L(2:46:01 PM): ok u needa stop
My Girl L (2:46:04 PM): u overthink these things
Me (2:46:35 PM): i'm callin now
Me(2:46:42 PM): lol
My Girl L (2:46:46 PM): good
Me (2:46:52 PM): it's ringing
My Girl L(2:47:07 PM): u crazi
Me (2:47:17 PM): i think she gave me the wrong ..
Me (2:47:44 PM): it said you reached adrian that ain't her name, so i been texting the wrong person lol
My Girl L(2:48:07 PM): wow.
My Girl L(2:48:18 PM): how she give u the wrong numba
Me (2:48:24 PM): LoL no wonder I got no response
My Girl L (2:48:50 PM): ok
My Girl L(2:49:00 PM): did u ask for the numba...or she jus gave it?
Me (2:49:12 PM): she gave it
My Girl L(2:49:21 PM): ok well then she made a mistake
My Girl L (2:49:24 PM): cus that makes no sense

So did she make or a mistake, or did she play me? Or maybe she shares a phone with her moms. My cousin did suggest that option, and that maybe she didn't change the answering machine. Hmmm. So on my little radio show "The Coolout" I laid out my dilemma and got mixed reviews Epsilonicus aka GWill told me to keep pursuing her, my new friend Robyne told me to forget it.
I mean she has my numbers via a message on Facebook, so I think the ball is now back in her court. LoL. I couldn't handle the pressure. But I honestly believe in A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CALL.

In other news my little cousin Toni, whose six, is the cutest ever.
Me: Ask Toni can she bring me some food to my school?
My Big Cousin: Tone, Goody (dats me Christopher aka CNEL) said, can you bring him some food to his school?
Toni (In the background): Where his school at? Is it near here?
Me: Tell her she'd have to get on a few buses.
My Big Cousin: You going have to get on the bus.
Toni (In the background): I don't care, tell him I'll come. I'll go in my sleeper.
My Big Cousin: She said she'll come in her sleeper.
Toni (In the background): I'll put my coat on and go in my sleeper cause I want to stay the night.
My Big Cousin: She said she'll put her coat on and come in her sleeper cause she want to spend the night. (LoL) Hold on she want to speak to you...
Toni: Goody, can I come and spend the night at your school?
Me: You can't spend the night I live with five boys.
Toni: I don't care, I'll sleep in your bed.
Me: (LoL) You can't spend the night, but maybe I'll come spend the night at your house next weekend.
Toni: At our house?
Me: Yes, at your house. Ok?
Toni: Ok.
Me: Let me speak back to your mother

After that delightful convo which made me smile I hosted tonight check out www.chrishasissues.blogspot.com and the soon to be created www.thecoolout.blogspot.com to see how I spent my Sunday night from 6pm-8pm.

I've since had a staff meeting at WLOY Radio, gotten dinner (first time I ate all day since Toni couldn't come for a visit LoL), and now am watching "Grey's Anatomy".

Thank God we have a two hour delay tomorrow because I have mad homework to do. I know I know procrastination is not my color, so I shouldn't continue to wear it.

I'll do better. Have a great week, we'll talk along the way.

-CNEL

Quotes of the Week

Sunday-“To move ahead you need to believe in yourself...have conviction in your beliefs and the confidence to execute those beliefs.”
-Adlin Sinclair
Monday-“We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory.”
-Unknown
Tuesday-“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
-Robert Heinlein
Wednesday-“Sir, I say that justice is truth in action”
-Benjamin Disraeli
Thursday-“Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”
-Unknown
Friday-“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
-Mark Twain
Saturday-“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
-Ivan Panin

So I Got Cold Feet

Okay so yesterday I was so excited about getting this girl's number, but today I couldn't get up the nerve to call her. It's that too good to be true, don't want to risk rejection, too comfortable in the right now phenomenon. So it was suggested that I call either today or tomorrow. Well this day has 75 minutes left in it, and I have a feeling that I won't make the call today. So stupid I know.

Someone suggested the other day that I was a hopeless romantic, I don't like the world hopeless. They also suggested that I am a young woman's dream come true compassionate, loving, generous, intelligent, hard-working, dependable, and loyal. I go to school, I work part-part time, I volunteer, and I am active in my community. Knowing all that I know about myself, knowing that I have the potential to help a woman achieve her dreams, and reach her full-potential. I still got cold feet. My lil "sister", aka my bestest female friend told me that I was "a punk". She told me to man up.

I can't help it that I got cold feet.

Maybe I'll call tmw LoL, sad I know.

I did send a text message:
This is Christopher, I was tryna check to see if you were free 2 talk, but maybe you're busy! My cell is ***-***-****, my dorm rm # is ***-***-****. Use it 2 ur advantage.

Aiight maybe I'll man up. There is always tomorrow, I hope. Ummm yea let me go check up on how to approach a girl 101. LoL it's been a while, my moves might be old school, cause my students tell me that I'm "real old school!"

My Life, My Life, I Need Some Sunshine

It's supposed to snow Saturday and Sunday, but I'm still hoping that I'm going to have a great weekend!

I finally pulled a number, I been single a long, long, long time. So I might have to see if ol girl gave me the right number. This young lady is someone I had gone to school with way back when, and I had a crush on her all these years.

Her: im surprise yu rbeing nice yu could not stand me back in the day you thought i was a freak and all that i was a fresh a** back in the day but neva a freak.

Me: HaHa LoL OMG LoL ok when you're ten and you don't like a girl, what does that mean? It means the exact opposite LoL. I had a crush on you back in the day. LoL I was mad as hell cause you were my sister's friend, and you would spend more time with my sister and my lil cousin Chrissy. LoL. And you said you were a freshpot not me LoL. And I'm always nice, I'm a gentleman.

Her: y didn't you tell me i regret so many things tht happened back in the day like i was **** (don't want to put her on blast like that)

Me: LoL I was shy LoL and still am to a certain degree. I didn't want to risk rejection. LoL for some reason I'm often intimidated by women I deem beautiful or attractive. WoW I got to go do a interview of someone for campus radio, but keep writing so I can have something interesting to read when I get back to the room. LoL how's Coppin maybe my sis, my cousin, you, and I can have a reunion one day, all us college kids. Christina goes to Morgan and Julia's at BCCC. Don't be a stranger.-Christopher aka CNEL

Her: coppin is treatin me really well. I am interested in a sorority which i plan to put interest in this semester....what sorority... the best of them all delta sigma theta. Tell Julia i said hello and chrissy. go handle your business and holla at me lata. ***-***-****use it to your own advatage and also give to my girl julia also. call me.

In my mind I could hear that voice saying call me! LoL

HaHa I love Facebook. HaHa

But for real I am glad this week is over. I was feeling it this week five classes, working at Friends, doing the radio station thing, trying to raise funds for Italy, life, blah, not feeling well. I hooked my Wednesday 11am class, and I felt so bad. I hate missing class. To a certain degree I am starting to see the usefulness of certain classes. A fine time 1 1/2 years into college, and I'm getting a sense that the $40,000 + a year being kicked out for me is being put to some use.

Back to the interviews I was interviewing mad heads for the radio station. That stuff was intense but it became repetitive after a while. One of my interviewees was a hottie bawatttie, too bad college employees and students can't fraternize. I am technically a college employee mmm hmmm. HaHa

But yeah it's Friday, and I'm going take the advice of my girl Christa and go and try to have some fun.

And check for me if you're around B-more:

Friday, 2-10 Treating Myself

5:30pm- Shower/Get Fresh

6:00pm-Get Dressed/Get Fly

6:30pm-Get Gone/Peace Out

7:30pm-Movie Downtown

10:00pm-Drop in to see my mother and my sister

Saturday, 2-11 Real

8:00 Laundry?

11:00 Visit the Friends/Fam at the Old Gig and a Panera Bread Pit Stop LoL

2:00 Return to Campus? or Hang Out Downtown

4:00 Homework

8:00 WLOY Stuff

10:00 Chill Out/Move Time

12:00am- Midnight Breakfast

Sunday Real Good

7:00am Wakeup

9:00am Church to Support Lorren ??

12:00pm Back to School ??

2:00pm Homework

4:00pm WLOY TV Production Meeting

6:00pm Host, "Chris Has Issues"

7:00pm DJ, "The Coolout"

8:00pm WLOY Radio Staff Meeting

9:00pm Back to the Room/Dinner

10:00pm Grey's Anatomy

11:00pm Blah/Sleep

I know so much to dissect, take it slow and easy.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE. BE GOOD and BE SAFE.

-Christopher aka CNEL

So I've been tagged by Ms. Jameil.

Four things.

Here it go.Four jobs I've had:
1. After Care Counselor
2. Children's Museum Program Associate
3. Community Organizer/Mobilizer
4. Office Assistant

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Hav Plenty
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Love Jones
4. She Hate Me
(Someone told me the other day that I was a hopeless romantic)

Four Places I have lived:
1. Baltimore
2. B-More
3. Bodymore
4. That's it

4 Shows I love:
1. A Different World -reruns but still
2. Law and Order: Trial by Jury
3. On the Story on CNN
4. Girlfriends (Lynn and Mya aka Persia and Golden, need I say more?)

Four highly-touted TV shows I don't get the hype:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Lost
3. American Idol
4. Nip Tuck

Four books I'd recommend to anyone, anytime:
1. The Pact by Drs. Davis, Hunt, and Jenkins
2. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
3. Growing Up X by Ilyasah Shabazz
4. The Moments, The Minutes, The Hours by Jill Scott

4. Four places I have vacationed:
1. South Carolina
2. Pennsylvania
3. Colorado
4. Ummm I need another more real destination

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Potatoes and onions made by mi madre
2. Chicken quesadillas (ask the people downstairs in the food court)
3. Chicken salad sandwiches
4. Shrimp fried rice

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Blogger
2. AOL
3. Google
4. Facebook

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. D.C.
2. Chicago
3. Somewhere in the Carribean
4. In my bed


And I'm tagging:
1. Whoever stumbles upon this
2. Whoever falls upon this
3. Whoever comes upon this
4. Whoever rests upon this

Wise Words from the Women of the Civil Rights Movements

Sunday-"Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injuresthe hater more than it injures the hated." -Coretta Scott King

Monday-"Don't measure your wealth by how much moneyyou have. Measure your wealth by how many things youhave that you wouldn't take money for."
-Myrlie Evers-Williams

Tuesday-"I have learned over the years that when one'smind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing whatmust be done does away with fear."
-Rosa Parks

Wednesday-"Faith is the first factor in a life devotedto service. Without it, nothing is possible. With it,nothing is impossible."
-Mary McCleod Bethune

Thursday-"As long as you keep a person down, some partof you has to be down there to hold him down, so itmeans you cannot soar as you otherwise might."
-Marian Anderson

Friday-"Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past,threatens the future and renders the presentinaccessible."
-Maya Angelou

Saturday-“I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.”
-Fannie Lou Hammer

Person of the Week

So, I been slacking a little with regards to this one blog feature. Usually I announce a person of the week at the top of every week, but things have been crazy. School is in full swing, my services were in high demand at the school where I work (those little kids can put a hurting on you), I've been conducting interviews for the radio station, and I started volunteering at yet another one of my alma maters. I only have three and it feels like more, but I try and give back to each of them. "To whom much is given, much is expected, much is required."

Going down to St. Ignatius this morning was a very funny experience. I saw an old English teacher, the school counselor, and saw some of the new breed of prospective students who are about to begin making their transition from boys to men. I was really having flashbacks this morning. I mean looking at the pictures of all the students on the walls, seeing myself with these big puffy puffy puffy cheeks. It was too much. Then proctoring placement exams for the kids who will give up their next 12 Saturday's getting lessons in language arts and in a math, hoping for a shot at giving up part of their summer, and praying for a shot at less than thirty slots at the middle school that may very well change their lives. It was a bit surreal, but again another reason for me to reflect and try and gain some perspective.

The Director of the Higher Achievement Program, which is what the Saturday enrichment program is called and I were getting to know each other. She asked me what I aspired to do once I was done with college. From the age 8 or 9 until about age 17 I wanted to go to law school, become a lawyer, and become a judge. Hoping to one day be appointed a federal judge, at the time all I knew was that if I became a federal judge, I'd have a job until I died. I said to myself get that job, and you'll be set. I didn't understand the complex politics of obtaining a federal judegship just yet. When I was 17 I interned at a local TV station, and that got the wheels a turning once again. Then I told everyone who would listen I would be a television news reporter, and that one day I would become a television news anchor. Most people said, I could see you as a lawyer, I could see you as a judge, I could see you on TV. And then there were those who asked why I just didn't become a teacher, because I am the only kid who would visit my old teachers, my old friends, my old schools on my day off. So this morning the question came up again.

What do you want to become:
A lawyer and a broadcast journalist

Then I thought to myself you go to law school, get your Juris Doctorate, and without even taking the bar exam, you are a lawyer. You go to school get a degree and start teaching you're a teacher. You go to school, get a degree, get a job, you're not guaranteed that on air position. These days aspiring for a spot on the local news, the evening news, or cable news, is close to having hoop dreams. But then I read his story and decided I'd rather continue to work towards my dreams, than to stop dreaming:

"Anchor Makes Move"
Scott Maxwell
Orlando Sentinel
After anchoring the weekend news on WKMG-Channel 6 for more than five years, Gerald Reznick has decided to leave the anchor desk -- because he can no longer see well while sitting there.Reznick said this week that he has been diagnosed with Stargardt's disease, a form of macular degeneration, which left him struggling to read scripts under brightlights that aggravate his condition. In recent weeks, he resorted to trying to memorize hislines. But after finding that difficult, even struggling on air a few times, he decided: "I need to retain some dignity."

Reznick, 37, is not leaving the station. Instead, he has decided to take a weekday reporting job -- a move that news director Skip Valet described in a staff memo as a "courageous decision." What started more than a year ago as a small fuzzy spot in Reznick's left eye continued to worsen."For me, it's been dramatic," he said. "Not only thea bility to read, but not being able to recognize people's faces."As Reznick understands it, the chances are very good that he will ultimately go blind, at least legally so.But he is determined to continue working, even if itmeans learning new reporting techniques, vowing, "Iwill find a way."

Gerald Reznick is this week's person of the week.

And rememeber:
"NOTHING COMES TO A DREAMER BUT A DREAM"

So don't just dream, do.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever noticed how people make it hard for you to live, but easy for you to die?

Have you ever noticed how people make it hard for you rise to the top, but easy for you to stay with your face touching the ground?

Have you ever noticed how people find it easier to hate than to love?

Have you ever noticed how people find it easy to be jealous, but hard to be supportive?

Have you ever noticed how people can spend so much time worrying about you and your life and what's wrong with it, but not enough time focused on their own?

So many of our important civil rights leaders, so many of our role models, so many of God's chosen people are dying. They are leaving this Earth, and when they do so they are leaving us with a charge. They are leaving us with a charge to always create opportunities for ourselves, to always have for ourselves and for others nothing but high expectations.

I'm taking on the challenge, I am accepting the charge.

But let's make one thing clear I want my praise now, I want my love now, I want support now. People don't have to wait till I'm gone to give it to me.

My mother always says give me hugs and kisses now, because I can't feel them when I'm in my coffin on my way to the grave. I'm not touchy, touchy feely feely so she gets hugs and kisses when I please. But I do understand the sentiment.

People make it hard for you to live, but easy for you to die. They'll give you praise once your gone, but grief while you're still alive. Make it easy on me, let me know you love me now, let me know you love me today, let me know I'm on your mind, let me know I inspire you, let me know you're proud of me, and I will work to do the same.

Coretta Scott King

April 27, 1927-January 31, 2006

When one looks at the life of Mrs. Coretta Scott King, one sees a life which was all about surmounting challenges, and overcoming obstacles. Her story was a story which was much like that of many of our grandparents, a story which reminds of us of the painful past of this country, but also symbolizes the potential we as their descendants have to go forth and achieve their shared dream. Their lives may have begun by their working on farms to support their families, but their lives were of most use when they planted seeds of hope in their offspring, seeds of encouragement for us their descendants. The shared dream of the African-Americans of past and present, who knew or still know what it is not to be treated as equals, to be treated as less than human is a dream, which was articulated so very well by the late Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It is a dream as has been said, that equity and justice would not just be ideals which are important to all Americans, and only given to some Americans, but ideals which lead to the fulfillment of this nation's full potential.

Dr. King said in part:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

What parent or grandparent doesn't hope that their children or grandchildren will be treated fairly and justly? What parent or grandparent doesn't hope that their children or grandchildren will become informed, conscious, compassionate, and responsible citizens who work to contribute to the betterment of their community? This as Dr. King suggested could only be achieved if respect were given without regard to condition, if opportunities were given without regard to condition, and if the personal liberties and freedoms, which are so dear to the American people were given and maintained by a government which is of, by, and for the people.

So much of what African-Americans in this country have been able to achieve, has been due in part to their faith. Dr. King alluded to the power of faith when in his "I Have A Dream" speech he said the following:

"With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

He knew that the power of faith was tremendous. I believe that he had faith not just in those who worked alongside him, faith not just in those who marched alongside him, or faith in the potential of America to fulfill its promise to all its people, but also faith in his wife with whom he shared his life, his work, his passion, and his dream.

From an early age Mrs. King knew that she would have to work hard to obtain freedom through education given the limited opportunities available to African-Americans at the time, and even more daunting given the limited expectations which many had for African-Americans. Her story began like many of our grandparents on a farm, her journey continued as she left home to attend college, as she married and started a family, and as she worked alongside her husband to see that a dream shared by so many were somehow achieved. So much is said of the accomplishments of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., but if there were no Coretta Scott King, I for one believe he would not have been able to do what he did. I believe that he was able to pursue his dream because of the comfort in knowing of Coretta Scott King's faithfulness to God, her uncomprimising loyalty to him, and her dedication to maintaining their family.

A man can achieve so much more when he has a strong and virtuous woman who stands beside him not just in good times, but also in bad.

After his death, Mrs. King devoted herself to continuing her husband's good work. She devoted herself to cementing his legacy, and telling his story to the generations which succeeded him. Her greatest work may not have been founding The King Center as some say, or getting the country to declare Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday a national holiday, but instead raising her four children, and providing them with as normal life as possible in the face of an existence which was steeped in tragedy. A good parent pays close attention to the well-being of their children. A good parent helps their children develop into confident and self-assured people with a strong sense of who they are, and could possibly grow to be.

One of my main connections to the late Reverend Dr. King and the late Mrs. King have been through their children Yolanda who is an actress, Martin, III who like his father headed the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Dexter who heads The King Center, and Bernice who like her father is a minister. As I have come to know more about their children, I have come to know more about Dr. and Mrs. King. I have come to see how selfless they were, because the danger and risks associated with their activism should not be overlooked. They gave so much of themselves, and risked their lives. They didn't have to do what they did. They could have led more normal lives, but what they did was extraordinary.

As we begin this African-American Heritage Month aka Black History Month, we must remember our heritage. We must remember that our stories are to be celebrated, and to serve as inspiration for all of us. If we don't recognize the sacrifices of those who came before us, as being examples for us, the dream will most certainly die. Their work is not done, it's only to be continued by us.

Dr. King also said in his "I Have A Dream" speech:

"Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning."

April 4, 1968 was not an end but a beginning, October 24, 2005 was not an end but a beginning, January 31, 2006 was not an end but a beginning.

Lamartine said, "History teaches everything including the future."

Martin Luther King Jr. we honor and remember you, Rosa Lee Parks we honor and remember you, and Coretta Scott King we honor and remember you.

And we now pick up the baton, and we move on, we run toward freedom, because the race isn't over, and we will and we must endure until the end.

Have a tremendous African-American Heritage Month reflect on this journey.