Difficult Days

These past few days have been among the most difficult of my life, and have undoubtedly been the most difficult days for me in recent history.

On Friday afternoon, I placed a call to my aunt, who is also my godmother, because I needed a favor. I was surprised to hear her youngest daughter answer the phone, and even more surprised when I called her eldest daughter, and was told she was in the hospital.

The next few hours were pure hell, I've never been but I have a faint idea. Not knowing what was wrong with my aunt, whether her ailment was physical, or mental is what had me most concerned. The uncertainty of the situation in effect froze me with fear. I rushed home to see if I could find anything which would let my cousins, doctors, or anyone else know what was wrong with her, but to no avail I was just as confused as before.

On Saturday I spent five hours in the hospital going in and out of the hospital room, steering people in and out of the waiting room, and keeping in close contact with both her daughters. On Sunday, I spent another three hours in the hospital. And today I skipped my last class of the day, in order to be there if only she needed something.

I was hopeful because we talked some, she asked me about classes, we convinced her to eat something, if only a piece of bread. I was hopeful, but by night's end I was worried again. I was afraid again.

It's a scary thing seeing someone you love, someone you care about, someone you respect not be their normal self. It's a scary thing just to see a loved one suffering whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual.

It's taken all I've had to break down and cry, I don't cry. I may be a tad emotional, but seldom do I shed tears.

The tears have welled up, and they haven't come yet, but I have a feeling the river will begin to flow.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

-CNEL