Tying my Tie

It was so funny to me the other day when sharing the news of the internship offer I received with a friend, hearing her response. The internship which would be in Illinois, my friend said that would get me close to Oprah. It's so crazy how you say TV or even media and people's minds automatically go to Oprah. A meet and greet would be beneficial, I noted. Also we have a connection, Oprah once anchored in Baltimore, I've always lived in Baltimore. Though she did leave for Chicago around the time I was born, I'm still an Oprah fan.

Sadly I missed two great episodes of her show this week. On Wednesday she had Sidney Poitier at her Book Club dinner discussing his recent book which I've written about here "The Measure of a Man", and on Thursday she had former "Early Show" co-anchor Rene Syler talking about her mastectomy. Curiosity peaked my interest in the stories. Both lived with a certain dignity, but also with a certain humility. "The Measure of a Man" reminded me of the need to live a dignified life, but to also live with humbly.

When Poitier started "The Measure of a Man" he talked about the fact that as much as his parents were part of his blood, they were also part of his psyche. In his mind were the teachings of his family. His relationship to his parents and to his ancestors reminded him of his potential and his ability. That notion of our parents and our ancestors being our moral teachers, our character builders resonated with me.

It's atleast what I thought of this morning as I stood in my room tying my tie. Getting ready for an internship interview, I tried to throw my sexy on, though in reality it never leaves me. Ha. As I tied my tie I thought back to my grandfather's declaration that my mother "get that boy (me) a good education, cause he's not going get his hands dirty."

There was an irony in that as I stood wearing a baby blue shirt, a baby blue tie I am being groomed for a white colar lifestyle. As I tied my tie I thought to my grandad, or my uncles who had likely taught my mother to tie a tie. It was after all her who had taught me. It is one of those ties that binds, I am my mother's son. It's because of that that I'll never forget the sacrifices my mother has made, nor will I forget the things that she has taught me.

She's helped teach me the measure of a man, but to every day endeavor to be my own man.

Almost Deja Vu

Deja vu : something overly or unpleasantly familiar

I still remember the first day I started my first internship in TV News. It was an unpaid internship at a station here in Baltimore. It was surreal for me to work somewhere where the anchors and reporters were people I had grown up watching. It was surreal to have the opporuntity to work in journalism and learn from the professionals. The funny thing is my first day nearly never happened.

Back then as they sometimes do now, people call and notify you of job offers instead of e-mail or letters. So when the call came, somehow my mother got that I hadn't made the cut, when really I had. After she told me I didn't make it, I cursed the program for not realizing my potential, and I kept it moving.

It turns out I had been accepted and offered the spot. As I lay in my bed on a Saturday my future friends and colleagues were at the station. I got a call midmorning asking where I was. I still remmeber, "I'm at home, I didn't make it." The future lady told me otherwise and told me to get there a.s.a.p. It took a few hours to get someone from my family to take me to work, but I got there.

The rest is history, but history has a way of repeating itself.

Now as I've been plotting my return to TV news, radio is good and all, but I love TV. I have an offer for an unpaid intenrship from May to August.

There's a catch. When I didn't get notified a few weeks earlier, I thought that I didn't get the offer. I cursed the prorgam for not recognizing my talent, but more importantly my potential. And once again I kept it moving.

Turns out I got the offer, for a program which is competitive. I've checked out some alumni, thank you Google, and really would be a great opportunity to move my career forward.

The internship would take me away from home, and put me into unfamiliar territory. It's something mentors have told me I needed to do. To break free and accept the challenge of doing what I've done here, elsewhere. Even more importantly it would challenge me to work on-camera, but also behind the scenes. For this technophobe it might be a great challenge.

It is however an opportunity.

Then there's an interview for a paid non-journalism job, and I've always been told to make that money.

I went from not feeling as if I had any options for the summer, to multiple options.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I'll keep you posted.

Words of the Week

Words of the Week
Sunday- “This is a nation whose spoken and written vision is chillingly beautiful. That each should have an opportunity. That work will get you where you need to be.”- Dr. Johnetta B. Cole

Monday- “Well, charity ain’t justice. Charity is beautiful, but you ain’t got to be charitable to me if I already got justice.”-Michael Eric Dyson

Tuesday- “We live in a world which respects power above all things. Power, intelligently directed, can lead to more freedom.”- Mary McLeod
Bethune

Wednesday-“We can learn and teach our children - as my mother did - how to cherish our individual and collective integrality, even in the face of brutality.”- Dr. Ruth J. Simmons

Thursday- “There is no power on earth that can neutralize the influence of a high, simple and useful life.” -Booker T. Washington

Friday-“Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.”- Marva Collins


Saturday-“Believe in life! Always human beings will live and progress to greater, broader, and fuller life.”- W.E.B. DuBois

Bad Thoughts

Profane
I realized on a walk to class (sometimes I do more thinking on the walks there than there), my thoughts don't become profane or vulgar until the school week begins. I'm working on not using profanity. I read somewhere recently something to the affect, "People who use vulgarity, do so because they don't have a more intelligent way to say how they feel." Sometimes however that one curse word carries a certain eloquence. Now we all know some words just resonate with people, once they roll off our tongues.

Often I fantasize about giving some people a good cuss out. It's the best way to get across that now popular saying. "Ho sit down." People of all ages can relate wanting to dress someone down, so they can sit down. P{art of it is the feeling of bliss that comes from the other person's anxiety, angst, and ultimately misery, exemplified by embarrassment. It's sad to say that sometimes we rejoiced in other people's pain, but some people need it. A good cuss out can be a humbling experience, a way to keep someone's feet on the ground.

So when someone needs a good cuss out, go ahead and give it to them.

One word of caution however, make sure the person on the receiving end deserves the good cuss out.

Words of the Week

Sunday- “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”-Bill Cosby

Monday- “You don't get to be old bein' no fool.....”-Richard Pryor

Tuesday- “I've always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.”-Eddie Murphy

Wednesday-“A man is only as faithful as his options” -Chris Rock

Thursday-“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”-Robin Williams

Friday- “Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.”-Margaret Cho

Saturday-“Change is such hard work.”- Billy Crystal

"I Think I Love My Wife"

So I saw the movie "I Think I Love My Wife" this weekend.

If you haven't already heard about the film. It's co-writer and director is Chris Rock. Rock is creator and executive producer of the already successful "Everybody Hates Chris." I believe it was Toure who called Rock the greatest comedian of his generation following in the footsteps of Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby and Eddie Murphy. His show "Everybody Hates Chris" is acclaimed because Rock like those who came before him, has been able to transcend the color line. He's been able to take issues which are part of the collective human experience, to poke fun at them, and to look at the truth of them. Isn't the saying, "The truth comes out in a laugh?"

For what its worth, I think the movie was well done. It was witty, it was funny, and it was smart. Some others loved it or hated it. It's not a raw as his stand up specials, and it isn't as water downed as "Everybody Hates Chris." To me its a happy medium. It's true to form in that it is honest, direct, blunt, yet comical.

The story revolves around Richard, a married investment banker. Richard has fathered two children Brian and Kelly, and after seven years of marriage (the so-called "seven year itch") he wonders if he still has that connection to his wife. His wife Brenda whose a teacher is obsessed with maintaining house and home so Richard gets no sex. At a time when Richard is obsessed with the buddy and the booty, what wives in his mind are supposed to epitomize, enters an old buddy. And the other woman, because there always has to be an other woman, right? Right. The other woman, the oh so fine, Kerry Washington. She's the temptress who causes Richard to think hard about his love for his wife. As expected she puts Richard into a scenario where he almost loses it all. At one point his boss tells him, "You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money."

"I Think I Love My Wife" is a story about having it all. It's a story which causes one to think about those things which matter most. What will give me contentment, what will give me fulfillment? What is more important pure unadulterated joy or pleasure? It's about the true love experience, and where it is gained. It's about true love, and whether you give it to yourself, or whether it's given to you by someone else.

The movie was good. It gets two thumbs up from me. Go see it for yourself, don't just take CNEL's word for it. :-)

Deconstructing The Measure of a Man While Claiming Kin

So between the end of February and this Sunday I finished three books Deconstructing Tyrone, Claiming Kin, and The Measure of a Man. In my estimation the three were connected and there was a certain fluidity in the subject matter of each.

I began with Deconstructing Tyrone which was written by Natalie Hopkinson and Natalie Y. Moore. It was what the authors called "A New Look at Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation". As hard as I might try to be apart of the hip hop generation according to some timelines, I missed it by two years. Dang Ma, could you have sped it up two years? Anyone it was a thoughtful book which reflected the complex reality of contemporary young black men. While we know that "to be young, gifted, and black" might very well be "a gift and a curse", do we understand why? In reading this book some of the reasons were illuminated. The work reflected the inherent conflict which exists. Black men are taught that they are as Ellis Cose has alluded to one of the most loved and hated groups in the world, not just in America, in the world. Many are unsure as to how they will be both forceful and strong, and compassionate and loving. There are limits and barriers which burden black men still, we cannot overlook systems of oppression. I think the most profound statement the authors make in profiling black men at different areas in their lives is that there is diversity within the group. Blackness and masculinity therefore can’t really have standard definitions, which go unchanged, which are not malleable.

Next I read Claiming Kin by Afi-Odelia Scruggs which was part memoir, part geneaological narrative. It was an interesting book to read. The author spoke of being driven to research her family's history as a way of connecting with her late father. It was a lengthy process, which required steadfast determination on her part. The author began the process while still a student, going on to finish the work after earning a PhD in Slavic Languages from an Ivy League institution. If ever there were a testament to forging ahead in America it was personified on so many levels. Even before we are given her paternal family history we see how roots which had been laid as a foundation, had allowed her to blossom. Generations of her maternal family were teachers. In Scruggs' case her passion for learning led her to pave her own way. Realism was a constant given her family's openness and honesty, realness quickly turned her sometimes ambitions into practical actions. While discovering her family’s history, it didn’t stop Scruggs from finding her own way. Just as the lives of her family had been transformed by forces aside from them, so too was had her life change by forces aside from her. We see the blossoming of a woman proud of her heritage, aware of her existence, and on the verge of an awakening. Her intellect, her spiritual consciousness, and her cultural consciousness, awareness of her heritage merged to give her a clearer view of her own identity.

Perhaps there was no better way to make sense of the previous works than to read Sir Sidney Poitier’s The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography. This work built upon what was learned in the other two works. It addressed the reality of being a black man in America and coming of age, before the civil rights movement had affected change. The reality of discrimination, of poverty, and outright racism were something even a Bahamian immigrant had to contend with while endeavoring to achieve his American dream. No, while not the descendant of slaves his heritage too left him with ancestors whose very humanity had been challenged. Poitier came here for a better way of life and was only shown roadblock after roadblock. He persevered relying heavily on his strength of character, developed on Cat Island in the Bahamas by his parents. Time and time again he reflected on his heritage, and cultural traditions which taught him that his dignity, his honor, his self-respect was worth preserving. Ultimately while he achieved success as a black man, in a field dominated by whites, he still had another way of measuring his success. Again Poitier points back to his heritage, his upbringing, and the teaching of his father. Living up to his father’s words was how he says he showed respect for the “bloodline”. After fathering six daughters who he concedes are his greatest accomplishment, he asks himself, if he heard his father’s words. His father had once said, ‘The measure of a man is how well he provides for his children.’ In honoring his obligation to his own children, he honored his parents. Poitier proved that the greatest measure of a person’s personhood is what they are willing to give to others.

It struck me how appropriate a quote from my ethics professor is for this:

“Human beings have always considered themselves in debt to those who preceded them.”

Perhaps too we are indebted who those who come after us.

Spring Break

So last week I was on Spring Break from school, and as soon as I come back I feel like I need another break.

So what did I do over break?

Stayed up too late watching T.V. enjoying stations we don't get at LoCo like TV One. My fav shoes reruns of "New York Undercover" and "Amen". I also love Singletary Says, real big fan of B-more girl Michelle Singletary. Also I love "Black Men Revealed" that show is hilarious. I love roundtable shows, because its always about hearing people's voices, hearing various perspectives, and giving those voices a space within the context of a civilized discussion.

Also my mother wanted me to learn to cook. I still can't, but we worked on teaching me to do spaghetti. Umm I semi-remember what to do. I remember some of the highlights
1) Put salt in the water to break up the spaghetti.
2) Buy # 11 instead of #9, I think.
3) Break up the noodles when adding them to boiling water.
4) While the noodles are cooking, brown the meat and mix it with the sauce.

Yeah, so I can't cook but I can bake.



I made my grandma's version of the "dump cake"

It's a layer of apple pie filling, pineapple slices/pineapple chunks, yellow cake mix, another layer of apple pie filling, pineapple slices/pineapple chunks, and yellow cake mix. You top it all off with melted butter, and pecans. It's delish.

So yeah I can bake that atleast.

In addition I finished the third of a trilogy of books I had wanted to read. A blog is forthcoming on how I relate "Deconstructing Tyrone", "Claiming Kin", and "The Measure of a Man". A blog on that is forthcoming, maybe tomorrow :-).

Someone please remind me that next year I have to be a stereotypical college student and go somewhere where there's sunlight in March. The thing is I'm not a hot weather person, nor am I a beach person. I know odd isn't it. Someone who can do without the beach.

TTYS.

Words of the Week

Sunday- “Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns” -Teyhi Hsieh

Monday- “You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.” -Mary Tyler Moore

Tuesday- “Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.” - Arthur Ashe

Wednesday- “Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” -Marsha Norman

Thursday-“But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope”-George Eliot

Friday- “Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to”- Unknown

Saturday-“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Generations

So yesterday my mother called herself giving me cooking lessons. I had a taste for spaghetti so I made sure we had everything, so that under the guise of me cooking, my mother would make some spaghetti. Can we just know that I ended up eating spaghetti?

Whenever we're in the kitchen we have discussions about everything from our LoCo family to current affairs. Somehow we ended up talking about the generations in our family. My oldest cousin and my youngest cousin are separated by something like 25 + years. In my mind I realized that a generation separates them. Sometimes I feel like a generation separates my little cousin and I, though in our case its only 8 years. It struck me though that time changes quickly. My little cousin's in the eighth grade, and after I maligned her about being parked in front of the television, she told me she didn't get homework three out of four days. In my day, ha, we got homework on the regular. Now it wasn't always hard, didn't always take long, but we were assigned homework. I can remember elementary school days coming home changing clothes, eating a snack, exercising (because my nutritionist said I had bad eating habits and I still wanted to eat what I wanted while losing weight), and doing homework. The kids of today it doesn't seem make life as easy. I constantly remind my 2nd cousins that they should read as many books, as they have favorite television shows, they are 7 and 5 and aren't trying to hear that, at all.

Today I visited an alternative high school here in Baltimore. I went along with members of the board of a non-profit, on whose board I used to serve. A few times a month they go out to schools and community centers to conduct workshops about leadership and community improvement. It was unbelieveable what I saw. These kids were unique to say the least. While the charge of the day was to explore community problems, community resources, and community based solutions, it was hard to get this across. The young people who ranged in age from 16-21, were faced with realities, I don't even encounter as somewhere whose nearly 21. A few of them were parents, and I couldn't imagine being a parent at less than 20. When a fellow facilitator tried to make the point that as parents, they are leaders of households, or at the very least role models, people disagreed with her assessments. They had parented children but didn't see themselves as role models.

This took me back to a bus ride earlier in the day. There was this older gentleman who took it upon himself to "school" those of us who were in hearing range. He talked about having worked 40 years having retired and now enjoying his retirement. "I live at home, it's just me and my wife no kids. All our kids are grown and gone." He went on to say that he "trained his daughters well." Since he did they have to be socially responsible, and accountable for their actions. "I don't do no babysitting. My weekends I watch my sports. I don't want to hear no screaming or crying kids. I don't want to be making nobody milk, nobody egg sandwiches. You say you're going to babysit they drop the kids off on Saturday, and you won't see them til Tuesday." What he said that really struck me was that the prison system was now glamorized. "They get 15 minute phone calls more than once a week, they get hour and twenty minute visits from people 4 and 5 times a month. They got T.V.'s in their jail cells, no wonder they don't want to come home. Or they come home and go right back to jail. Their momma's bring them clothes like they going downtown. Prison wasn't like that 50 years ago. I worked a chain gang where you broke up big rocks big as this bus for 20 cents a day."

It just struck me how generations change, priorities change, and people's lives are oh so different.

Words of the Week

Sunday- “Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power - a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment” -Marsha Sinetar

Monday- “Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.” -Roy L. Smith

Tuesday- “True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.” -Henry Miller

Wednesday- “Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”- Tom Krause

Thursday- “When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him.” -Bayard Rustin

Friday- “By "guts" I mean, grace under pressure”- Ernest Hemingway

Saturday-“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity”- Louis Pasteur