"Harvard Girl" A Story in Multiple Parts Pt. 5

Throughout senior year I called myself trying to get over "Harvard Girl" I expressed interest in other girls.

Still in the back of my mind existed thoughts of me and her.

To say our encounters were awkward would be a tremendous understatement.

One of her best friends was my "play sister". There was no need for me to try to avoid her, I simply couldn't. I refused to forsake my friendships just so I would go without being forced to see her.

At one point early on many of us started thinking about prom.

I wondered if "Harvard Girl" would go with me? Risky? Yeah.

I thought she might be open to the idea. Her besties Devin "my play sister", Mia, and Lita were all going. They all had boyfriends who were either juniors or seniors.

She expressed interest but was concerned about cash flow. Since she was a sophomore, she'd have two other opportunities to go, so her moms wouldn't necessarily be enthused about spending money on a prom which wasn't hers.

She ended up saying she couldn't go.

As much as I was disappointed, I didn't push her.

We continued to remain just friends. We made a little headway. Our encounters became less awkward, though I became much more reserved.

She would catch a ride with me to board meetings.

One time we were stranded because my ride got delayed. We decided to go back to school on the subway. The plan was to get to the end of the line, a mile away from our school, and call a friend to pick us up.

I called my ride and said we'd get back on our own, it was "Harvard Girl"s suggestion. As soon as I got off the phone, she had second doubts, said it was a joke, and that her mom would kill her for doing it.

I told her I had done it before, and that I'd keep her safe. We got the money we needed, and walked to the subway.

We road the subway for thirty minutes. We talked about life, growing up, and our future plans. She said that she wanted to be a doctor so that she could help people. She maintained that her faith, her family, and her friends were her own personal trinity. I grew to respect her steadfastness, her devotion, her consistency. Her word was her bond. That drive, that
passion, it got to me. I sat listening intently. And ya'll know how hard it is for me to just listen. It
was just me and her, and finally she felt she could open up, if only a little.

We made it to the end of the line. We couldn't get a hold of our friend, so we walked. We walked the mile together in the cold. We came up to the hill which led us back onto campus. As we came over we both slipped and fell in the mud. I helped her up. We laughed, and she made me promise not to tell anyone.

As we approached the dorms, we saw a dorm parent. He was nosey as hell, and thought we were coming from doing something we weren't supposed to be doing. We WEREN'T.

We ended up not going to prom together.

On that night hot June night in 2004 I ended up going it solo. I looked hella fly, especially given the fact that I spent three hours in the hospital with an IV stuck in my arm due to dehydration. My pics looked good thanks to my friend Loryn. If you ever need a someone to take prom pics with, go with the girls who rocking a black dress. It worked out fine for me. I had fun. I got caught on video tape doing a dance which shall not be mentioned ever again.

I didn't see Harvard girl again for a while until the next fall.

I was a freshman in college, supposedly on to bigger and better things.

So I called it being over...

I tried to get my fixation, fascination, infatuation, the endless dream to end.

I called myself waking up to reality. I wasn't completely able to wake up though, because you know when you first wake up, you feel groggy. Your mind isn't always clear.

I wasn't all there.

I still couldn't get a clear view of my reality...

To be continued...

Still to come parts 6, and 7, and the "finale".

"Harvard Girl" A Story in Multiple Parts Pt. 4

Classes ended, and exams were over.

I thought my year was over.

While attending graduation at my school was mandatory, I was atleast supposed to have a few days off between moving off campus, and coming back to school for the graduation.

People had other plans for me.

I had recently been elected President of the Honor Council, the body charged with educating people about, and also enforcing the Honor Code. It turns out I would have a major hearing. I would preside over the hearing, and also be the voice of the council who informed the administration of our decision.

That particular hearing was tough because I knew the accused, I knew about the alleged incident, and much more. Still I went into my first hearing as President plegding to be focused, to be objective, and to be fair.

It would be easy it was work, I was always about my business.

Life rarely happens that easy, guess who had recently been elected to represent her class on the Honor Council. Sitting in the hearings I was already sick to my stomach. Presiding over hearings made me extremely nervous. I'm talking sweaty palms, anxiety, the works. I knew I had earned the right to be there, was more than capable of holding my own, had earned people's respect, and that people also admired me for my personal integrity. Still I felt a tremendous responsibility rested on my shoulders.

Add to my already nervous feelings the fact that SHE was in my PRESENCE and it didn't help
After the hearing, after the deliberations, we said nothing to each other. When eye contact was made I'd look down. I didn't want her to see the look of longing in my eyes. I couldn't shake it, shake what I was somehow feeling.

For some reason, this confident boy becoming a man, became shy when it involved this petite girl, four years my junior. But with her it was NOT about WHAT I WAS, it wasn't about age, it wasn't about titles,it was about WHO I was. I wanted the chance to prove to her that all that mattered was what could be between us.

After that day I thought I wouldn't see her again until I was a senior.

Wrong again.

It had totally slipped my mind that she had applied to become a member of the same board that I had joined the year before. She'd been turned onto the board by me. Why? I had seen her passion for giving back, and helping others.

Once she joined the board my best friend Epsi became acquainted with her. He failed to see why I was so enamored, but it didn't matter to me. Our boys can't always see what we see. At a certain point it also doesn't really matter.

We saw each other maybe once or twice over the summer for board meetings. After meetings she dipped out. I floated around elsewhere until I was sure she was gone. No one knew why I was "acting funny" and thankfully they didn't pick up on it until later.

It turns out some people would soon find out, before my senior year even began. And no, I didn't tell them all.

To be continued...

"Harvard Girl" A Story In Multiple Parts Pt. 2

It all began way back in 2002.

I was about to begin my junior year of high school. She was about to begin her freshman year.

The day we met was September 2, 2002.

It was significant because it marked the day I moved on campus for yet another year of prep school. It's so funny because every year I said wasn't coming back and every year I did.

Every year I encountered some sort of surprise.

Looking back my time wasn't really that bad, in fact more often than not it was great.

That day I remembered I walked over to the girl's dorm to check in, and to get my keys.

Standing there was this petitie, young, fresh faced girl and her mother. I didn't think much of her except to say hi. Later, when they drove past me I smiled and I waved.

The next day school started, and we went about our business. I'd see her at breakfast, occasionally lunch, and then I'd see her again at dinner.

We had many of the same friends because at our school the black kids hung tight. I was also Vice President/ Secretary of the Black Awareness Club (Black Student Association). By semester's end our President was busy trying to be too much like Bill Clinton while he was in office, if you know what I mean. I ended up de facto President so it was my job to know or know of all the African-American students.

"Harvard Girl" as she is now known was quiet. She was reserved. She was focused. She was driven. She was about her business. Everyone liked her, but few of us really knew her. I knew that she was only 13 when she came to high school, because she had been skipped. I knew that she was of Nigerian parentage. I would learn that I had gone to school with one of her older brothers. I would learn that I had applied to middle school with another one of her brothers.

As time passed I came to see her as gorgeous her skin the color of a darker chocolate, her eyes someone once said were "chinky", she had full cheeks, a sweet voice, and an amusing laugh.

Her work ethic, her drive, and her passion were ALWAYS on display. When we had the rare opportunity to talk you could tell that she had a maturity beyond her 13 years, that she respected herself, that she loved her family, that she was spiritual, and that she was loyal to friends.

Still there wasn't a connection, it was if she were afraid to let anyone in. The more I came to see, the less I felt as though she wanted anyone in. There was something that maybe she wasn't necessarily hiding, but that no one was seeing. For all intents and purposes, she was a mystery to me. Yet, I was drawn to her. I wanted in even more than before.

There was a challenge before me. I didn't want to wear her down. I just wanted her to let me in.

To be continued...