"Harvard Girl" A Story in Multiple Parts Pt. 5

Throughout senior year I called myself trying to get over "Harvard Girl" I expressed interest in other girls.

Still in the back of my mind existed thoughts of me and her.

To say our encounters were awkward would be a tremendous understatement.

One of her best friends was my "play sister". There was no need for me to try to avoid her, I simply couldn't. I refused to forsake my friendships just so I would go without being forced to see her.

At one point early on many of us started thinking about prom.

I wondered if "Harvard Girl" would go with me? Risky? Yeah.

I thought she might be open to the idea. Her besties Devin "my play sister", Mia, and Lita were all going. They all had boyfriends who were either juniors or seniors.

She expressed interest but was concerned about cash flow. Since she was a sophomore, she'd have two other opportunities to go, so her moms wouldn't necessarily be enthused about spending money on a prom which wasn't hers.

She ended up saying she couldn't go.

As much as I was disappointed, I didn't push her.

We continued to remain just friends. We made a little headway. Our encounters became less awkward, though I became much more reserved.

She would catch a ride with me to board meetings.

One time we were stranded because my ride got delayed. We decided to go back to school on the subway. The plan was to get to the end of the line, a mile away from our school, and call a friend to pick us up.

I called my ride and said we'd get back on our own, it was "Harvard Girl"s suggestion. As soon as I got off the phone, she had second doubts, said it was a joke, and that her mom would kill her for doing it.

I told her I had done it before, and that I'd keep her safe. We got the money we needed, and walked to the subway.

We road the subway for thirty minutes. We talked about life, growing up, and our future plans. She said that she wanted to be a doctor so that she could help people. She maintained that her faith, her family, and her friends were her own personal trinity. I grew to respect her steadfastness, her devotion, her consistency. Her word was her bond. That drive, that
passion, it got to me. I sat listening intently. And ya'll know how hard it is for me to just listen. It
was just me and her, and finally she felt she could open up, if only a little.

We made it to the end of the line. We couldn't get a hold of our friend, so we walked. We walked the mile together in the cold. We came up to the hill which led us back onto campus. As we came over we both slipped and fell in the mud. I helped her up. We laughed, and she made me promise not to tell anyone.

As we approached the dorms, we saw a dorm parent. He was nosey as hell, and thought we were coming from doing something we weren't supposed to be doing. We WEREN'T.

We ended up not going to prom together.

On that night hot June night in 2004 I ended up going it solo. I looked hella fly, especially given the fact that I spent three hours in the hospital with an IV stuck in my arm due to dehydration. My pics looked good thanks to my friend Loryn. If you ever need a someone to take prom pics with, go with the girls who rocking a black dress. It worked out fine for me. I had fun. I got caught on video tape doing a dance which shall not be mentioned ever again.

I didn't see Harvard girl again for a while until the next fall.

I was a freshman in college, supposedly on to bigger and better things.

So I called it being over...

I tried to get my fixation, fascination, infatuation, the endless dream to end.

I called myself waking up to reality. I wasn't completely able to wake up though, because you know when you first wake up, you feel groggy. Your mind isn't always clear.

I wasn't all there.

I still couldn't get a clear view of my reality...

To be continued...

Still to come parts 6, and 7, and the "finale".