My Heart's in Texas

One of my aunts is dying of cancer. The doctor’s recently told her that there’s nothing more they can do for her, and they sent her home. God I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

I called her the other day and even though we don’t talk as much as we should, she knew exactly who was calling. "Hello my favorite nephew," she said. I wanted to say, "Aunt Bettye you’re not supposed to have favorites." But I didn’t. I didn’t say a word. I just smiled my knowing smile. Of course I'm the favorite, just kidding.

My Aunt Bettye is one of four aunts who aside from my mother and my late maternal grandmother have the most say in and most sway over my life. My mother has five sisters, and my "father" has six sisters.

My Aunt Bettye is special. If my mother ever had problems out of me, as rare as those were, it wasn't past her to call Aunt Bettye. A call from Aunt Bettye would make you sit down, shut up, and get southern ("yes ma'am", "no ma'am" came with a quickness).

My aunt said to me as she always does that I have made her proud. It means so much because when she says it she says it with all seriousness and sincerity.

She said her only wish is to live to see me graduate in May, and that God willing she'll do the same for my cousin, the only daughter she's ever known.

Before she let me go she asked me about my job interview last weekend. After I told her I didn’t want to pursue it, because it wasn’t what I wanted, she had a word of advice. "Just know that you’re going to have to do some things in your life that you don’t want to do."

It was as sobering as the sound of her voice, as serious as the tone of her voice, and said with as much sincerity as she could muster.

I knew then that real life was upon me.