Lesson Learned Pt. 2

V, La, and Chris your comments have all made me smile.

V- You're dead on about the super. Still can't stand her. Ewww gives me the creeps. LoL. The professor and I though have a great relationship. I think she's been just a little taken aback cause I have been too stressed and too busy to be as cheery as I can be. LoL I have a great smile, I just don't see the need to smile all the damn time. LoL. She's mad coo tho thankfully, so much so that on Friday I walked away from the meeting with her with her signature on a form which allows me to design my own course next semester. She knows I've earned the right to do me, and is supporting me.

Also thanks to La for pointing out that the feelings I'm feeling are natural. Thank God I don't have to feel guilty for speaking my mind. Chris don't worry I'm going to continue not to apologize for being honest. Cause if I lied about everything people would still be mad, and be calling me everything but a child of God.

Two of my friends have both alluded to the fact that one of my major problems is the lack of unity at this school. People particularly shall I come right out and say it "black people" are creating conflict. Fact: Some people here talk a good game. Since I'm a doer I don't approve. One friend went to a prep school much like mine. Sadly, we're used to being underrepresented on campuses, but we're also used to doing something about. We laughed cause the stuff people seem to be going through now we went through in high school. Fact: Some people here feel the need to prove their blackness. We remarked we don't need to prove our blackness, cause none of them can take it away. I don't go to BSA (Black Student Association) meetings to hear people vent their frustrations if a plan of action won't come from it. Yes, ya'll knowI bitch and moan. Why? Because I can, because sometimes it feels good, and because I've earned the right to bitch and moan.

But in my defense I also do stuff about my discontentment. I'm a leader who works to change things which I know aren't right. I also keeps it real. One of my biggest problems I have is people trying to qualify what it means to be black. Our strength is our diversity, the diversity which exists within our own race. Sometimes I want to yell, "You are not the friggin black police so sit your ass down." There are those who believe that in order to be looked at as more black they need to a)talk a certain way b)dress a certain way c)act a certain way d) have had the same struggle. So to be more black I'm going to talk about this struggle and that struggle, I ain't never had. Stop and shut up. Go somewhere with the foolishness. People are still caught up in a need for drama, a need to judge, a need to be pretend, and a need to say "he or she ain't black because..." We're adults not kids, let's act mature. Let's not make people have to be something they are not to be "black." It's so tiring and frustrating, and still some don't get it.

They maybe won't get it in the six months I have left.

Thankfully I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 5 weeks away with being done classes for this semester, seven weeks away from being done finals. In seven weeks there will be 9 credits standing between me and graduation. Sadly I have to take 12 to be full-time and to get my money. But I'm going to make it.

Okay now I need some encouragement: