"Harvard Girl" A Story in Multiple Parts: The Finale

After we had that conversation I became more hopeful that at ther very least my actions would no longer be misinterpreted.

While I knew I came on strong, was very persistent, I never wanted my actions to be seen as disrespectful.

Shortly after "Harvard Girl" gave me the ride home, she IMed me.

That blew my mind. Back then during high school, and immediately after high school it was harder to get people's screen names than it was to get their cell numbers.

Once school started I kept in touch. When I saw her I would speak and smile. Occasionally I would send her an e-mail just to check in.

For Valentine's Day last year I did what I generally due I sent her a carnation, and a singing telegram. She like she had done for the two years prior to that made sure to say thank you. I heard from my smiles that for a moment she broke the focused look, and smiled.

This year she got the Facebook gift. She sent me a message saying thank you.

"Happy Valentine's Day Chris, remember there is no higher love than the love of God which he showers on us everyday, Be Blessed :)"

Unlike India.Arie she said nothing about seeing God in me. I'm wise enough to know that I cannot and should not compete with God.
She only saw her trinity her faith, her family, her friends.

Still there was no room for me.

"Harvard Girl" just completed her first year at Harvard.

In that time we've stayed in touch, but nothing has happened. When we talk its always about school, work, mutual friends, our community service, never us, never romance.

She's undergone yet another transformation reverting back to her Nigerian name, and wearing natural hair. Through it all she remains focused.

Says my "sister", one of her best friends when asked if she could "see it?"

"...ummm she's too focused right now, plus yall are far apart.And i know first hand that distance does NOT work. But later on in life, I could see it."

I don't know if I can ever break into the trinity. It now seems I won't have a love story which allows me to have my ideal.

This is not a story about seeing a pair of legs or a backside and chasing after it, it's about chasing what I didn't see. It's about wanting beneath the surface to really learn about someone.

"Unrequited love is real valid agony. And no one has a right to rob you of it so cheaply." The article continued, "Unrequited love is the very pain of God. The Crucifix is a snapshot of unrequited love. God doesn’t minimize this pain."

I went back to my classes in Theology for a moment. I'm not Catholic, so Catholic school must finally be getting to me.

It's taking a little Theology, Philosophy, Psychology, and Sociology for me to understand it all.

No one has the right to end your agony, but you. Ideals are our ideas of perfection, and while sometimes we have the ability to see some ideals come to be. Other times we won't always get what we want. It's about accepting what life has to offer, and deciding when to move on.

"Harvard Girl" is still out there, and I'm still here.

We're not together.

I think finally I may be willing to accept that it might not happen.

While the saying goes something to the effect of, "find the man willing to make a fool of himself and find a love for a lifetime."

I think I may be unwilling to play the fool anymore.

THE END.