"Harvard Girl" A Story In Multiple Parts Pt. 1

"Maybe God knows something you don't know."

Now that part I don't doubt. The thought continues however.

"Maybe God knows that if you have a girl in your life, you'll lose all your focus."

Now that's a crock of you no what. I can rationalize and get behind a lot of statements, but not that one. There is no way I'd give so much of myself, to lose myself, and to lose sight of my goals and my objectives.

Now the other day I talked about how my mentor encouraged me to reach out to "Harvard Girl." She told me that given my locale for the summer,I should e-mail her. I may be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but that's just dumb.

Anyway my mentor's reaction was different than most people. She felt the need to encourage. Others have felt the need not to discourage but to lessen my expectations, which isn't one in the same. Lessened expectations allow for the possibility, outright discouragement doesn't.

As I've said here before my best friend Epsi thinks I need to get over it. The other best friend Kenny is just a skeptic. In Epsi's mind it's been nearly five years and nothing has happened. In Kenny's mind some girls just never see what's right in the front of them. It wasn't until I typed five years that, that I realized just how long a time its been since we first met. Eps has said more than once, "It's useless for you to care about someone, who acts like you don't exist." Point taken, but that doesn't stop that thing my mind does. It doesn't stop my mind from smiling at the thought. Yes, it's rather simple minded of me, but it boils down to me liking her, and her not liking me. Atleast if she does like me even a smidgeon she has never been willing to openly admit it to me.

In the five years we've had some glimmer of hopes. Glimmers of hope I'll get to a bit later in the series. There was the possibility she'd allow me to escort her to my senior prom. There was the time she gave me the ride home, and the awkward two word exchange that almost had me in tears, there was the "thank you" after the carnations and the singing telegrams.

But still nothing has happened.

There have been others who have made their way into my realm. There was the ex who my mother loved whose now someone's mother, there was the "Cuddle Buddy", there was the junior year crush of my college experience, but still none have given me that feeling.
No experience since that time five years ago when I first met "Harvard Girl" have I had that feeling of rightness.

To be continued...