WALK A MINUTE IN MY SHOES, JUST A MINUTE

Generally speaking I am a pretty easy going person. The only time I really get really riled up is either a) when I’m excited or b) when I’m pissed beyond belief.

My philosophy when walking into most situations is this:
“I am not here to be liked. I’m here to learn. I’m here to be respected.”

Part of the reason I feel the way that I do is because as my mother would walk my twin sister, and I to school, she would say:
"I'm sending you to school to get an education. You can socialize afterwards."

She also taught us that there are friends and there are associates, and there's a big difference between the two.

When I express my philosophy, sometimes people take it the wrong way. It’s not that I write people off before even interacting with them. It’s not that I’m not open to new friendships. It’s not that I don’t realize that some of the most rewarding relationships start off as challenges. It’s really that I am comfortable with WHO I AM. I won’t change who I am to appease anybody. I am however willing to adjust to other people so that I might learn from them and learn about them.

There is only one thing I will not tolerate and that is DISRESPECT.

After the horrible day on Friday I decided to pay my News Director a visit.

In our conversation I was honest, I was blunt, and I was forthright about what I called “the worst day of my professional career.”

I think she was taken aback because we rarely talk 1 on 1, I closed her door, I was serious as a heart attack, I would not back down, and according to people we had a closed door meeting of likely over half an hour.

I told her everything that happened from my perspective.

I enumerated the problems I had or have had.

1. I think it disrespectful that people failed me by not helping me to be properly prepared to anchor. (EVEN THOUGH I NOW REALIZE I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED THEM ABOUT IT , WAY BEFORE THE SHOW.)
2. I think it disrespectful that people then proceeded to rush me, blame me for problems, both without consulting me.
3. I think that people need to learn to talk to people in a way which is not condescending, demeaning, derogatory or disrespectful.
4. I think people need to abandon the egos. You will not be a bitch or a bastard to me and think you’re going to get away with it. Homie don’t play that.
5. I think people need to realize that because we come from different backgrounds we have different levels of experience, and we can’t disregard or negate what another person knows.
6. I think that frustration isn’t an excuse to lash out at people.
7. I think that sometimes it’s an us against them mentality. The interns from other parts of the country are “outsiders”, and the interns from this station are “insiders”. That defeats the purpose of having other people come here.
8. I think that people are too willing to accept praise without accepting blame. (I ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG. IF I MESS UP I STAY UNTIL I GET IT DONE.)
9. I think that people need to know that their actions affect others, and that be selfish, or have selfish motivations.
10. I think that people need to remember that we are all adults.

While I can fight my own battles, as the leader of the group she needs to be aware of what is going on. As the leader, the mentor, the coach, and the head trainer she needs to be a support system for me or whoever else, point blank. At times she made it clear to me that she felt that I was being overly sensitive. Point taken, but that doesn’t change what HAPPENED or how I FELT afterwards. At times she tried to partly justify people LASHING OUT at others due to frustration, which in turn made me feel LESS THAN, made me feel DISRESPECTED, and made me feel quite CRUDDY. (I did tell her I felt cruddy!) Point taken, but you can’t take your frustrations out on people. In the workplace it’s UNPROFESSIONAL. Imagine people coming to my shop, me being a trainer, sure I’d get frustrated, but I would never disrespect them. Disrespect gets you nowhere. Disrespect gets you people who can’t focus on the job because they’re too pissed off to care.

At the end of the day after co-producing as I sat next to her during our post-show meeting, she did something which surprised the hell out of me. She acknowledged my concerns insisting that we respect one another, talk to one another in a way which is appropriate, are sensitive to people’s feelings, that we not have unchecked egos, that we acknowledge people’s talents, that we not be selfish, and that we work together. SHE GOT IT. It didn’t at all feel that way but SHE GOT IT. It was surreal to here her saying so much of what I said to her earlier in the day. My roommates said you could tell she had talked to me. While at times I didn’t feel like she heard me. I think having the rest of the day to think about our 30-40 minute conversation, and being shocked and taken aback by my candor made her realize I was not backing down, not changing my mind. At times I get a little bit BMORE BRAVE but I was composed and articulate. She realized that no matter her perspective she had to see things in part from my perspective.