"Look at What's Being Brought to You, Not Whose Bringing It"

That is a lesson my mother once taught me, and something I don't mind being reminded of because it's one of those important life lessons.

"Look at what's being brought to you, not whose bringing it."

My mother told me that the man who fathered me, taught her that. I can't call him my "father" when I don't have to, because well he wasn't a "father". Even today I don't really know the circumstances of his death when I was all of two years old. I haven't really bothered to ask. The truth be told, I don't think I ever had the strength to ask. From what I can tell he was caught up in a tragic cycle. A cycle of the wrong thing, at the wrong time, because of the wrong decisions. My twin sister tells me stories of bonafide hustler who succumbed to a life which was not so glamorous. She tells me stories of suicide, suicide by drugs, and I don't know if it's true. Part of me feels that not knowing for sure will protect me, and somehow shield me from the pain. What I do know is that he never laid eyes on my twin sister or I. It's kind of hard for me not to think about it, and what this has meant for my life. Often times I think about what impact having a father in my life would have had on my life. Then I stop because it's not my responsibility to think of what could of been, but to instead work to do the best to ensure that what can be for me, will be. I've always been taught, "Seek to fulfill your maximum potential." That's what I can honestly say I do day in and day out.

No I don't lead a perfect life, no I am not the perfect person, no I don't do everything right, no I do not know all. I do know that as is often said, "The greatest barrier to oneself is oneself." It's so true that "We are our best kept secret and our worst enemy;" at the very same time. At the heart of me I know what will ensure my success seeking emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical empowerment. I do know that being prepared at a given moment will ensure that I can make the most of a given opportunity.

Today before I came back to do some packing for the move off campus, I took a ride on two of our college shuttles. One of the shuttle drivers is a 40 something year old white woman. It's important that I point that out, only because on the surface a 40 year old white woman from rural Pennsylvania, and a near 20 year old man black man from inner city Baltimore may not have much in common. Over the course of the last several months I have found that woman has imparted more wisdom and more reassurance upon me than I could have ever thought of, and it's because I dared look beyond the surface.

So many times today I was reminded that I am destined for greatness.

One man told me, "Ten years from now when you're thirty years old, you're probably going to be in charge of the life of a 40 year old." I know what he was alluding to, and that was the fact that education as much as it is an equalizer is a divider. He was alluding to the fact that my education and the opportunities which ensue will make others subordinate to me, and he didn't see it as a bad thing. He wasn't trying to make me feel guilty either. He was reminding me that I have an obligation to do right for myself, and for others.

Those words might have never come if I tuned him out, but instead, I looked at what was being brought and taught to me.