Toxic Friends and Friendships

As I get older I believe I am getting wiser, or mellower, or crazier. I know for a fact that it's one of the above, because I feel it, and besides I know me. As I get older I am beginning to see the mistakes I've made thus far in life. I know for a fact that someone out there is thinking at 19 what kind of mistakes could you possibly have made? Trust me there have been a few and I know that there are more to come. But as I begin to realize the mistakes I've made, I'm also beginning to realize the things I did right. I am beginning to see how even at 19 I am a success story. You see you don't have to be old, you don't have to necessarily be able to boast of some great accomplishment, or be well known by tons of people. What you have to be able to do is say, "I've lived this life, and I've owned it thus far." I have no problem saying that, nor do I have a problem saying, "I'm living this life, I own it, because my best days are not my yesterdays, but instead my yes days."

One lesson I've taken away from my life thus far is the true meaning of friendship. I never quite knew growing up why my mother always said, "You have too many friends." I now know that what she meant was that I had too many people I considered my friends. What my mother wanted me to learn then, she knew would prepare me for now. She knew if she taught me that lesson I wouldn't be caught off guard, I wouldn't be surprised, I wouldn't be stunned, and I wouldn't be hurt by so-called friends. My mother always said to me, "You need to learn the difference between an associate and a friend." She was right I need to have more associates, because I know now everyone sure as hell ain't my friend.

Since I'm at a pivotal point in my life, the point at which my college education is fast becoming my introduction to the real world, I think I'm much more aware of the craziness which goes on in this world. I am fast learning about different phenomena that I will have to do with more as I get older. One such phenomena is that of "Toxic Friends" (No it's not just a female thing, because females aren't the only ones with friends, and I too suffer from Toxic Shock Syndrome if only in my head, which is probably the cause of my brutal migraines) And here's what I learned about Toxic Friends:

7 Signs of a Poisonous Pal

Here are some ways you can detect if you have a Toxic Friend or if you are in a Toxic Friendship (if you are break free and break free fast)

If you have an:
1) Ungiving Friend: If you are the giving friend, and you are friends with a taker, drop the mooch, you're investing way too much for too little in return.
If you have a:
2) Destructive Friend: A friend who when they shouldn't really, still manages to support your bad habits, and give whack advice, let him or her go.
If you have a:
3) Defensive Friend: One who doesn't want to be told how to be a better friend, then maybe you'd be better off without him or her.
If you have an:
4) Uncomfortable Friend: One who despite knowing you and knowing your potential is still uncomfortable with your success, find someone who will cheer you on and help you as you endeavor to reach your level. Never ever befriend someone who questions the change for the better in your life.
If you have an:
5) Annoyed Friend: Someone who is constantly annoyed by the differences between you two, who gets ticked by the little things, who can't realize the uniqueness makes the friendship what it is, then let them find someone who is just like them, cause they don't need you.
If you have an:
6) Unreliable Friend: If you've got a friend who you have to watch yourself around, one of those friends you have to hold back from, then the trust isn't there. If they can't get the low down on the down low, then they shouldn't know any of your business then they shouldn't even be your business.
If you have a:
7) Doubtful Friend: One of those friends who makes you question yourself, and doesn't help you move closer towards your ultimate level, then that is not the friend for you.

I've had a few toxic friends in my day. There have been people that should have remained associates and never been called friends. There are probably a few toxic ones who still linger, but in due time, they'll be gone too. I am destined for greatness, this I know. I have always been told, "You cannot allow anyone to put a limit on your purpose or on your destiny."-My Cuzin Michael, Da Pastor told me that. And you best to believe that I won't ever forget those words. My future is too great to allow someone to stop me on my road to greatness.

My advice for this week, my advice for today, and my advice for tomorrow is watch who you allow to get close to you.

The five people you are closest to are who represent you....If those people whether family or friends...don't have your value system or beliefs then ask yourself why. Reevaluate your relationships and friendships, find the meaningful ones and stick to those.

Quote of the Day: "The more humble you are, the more the blessings flow." -Ciara, R &B/Hip Hop Artist

Song of the Day: "I Wish I Wasn't" by Heather Headley