Heartache and Heartbreak

My 18 yr old cousin/godsister/namesake Christina is a very interesting person. Now my lil cousin, yes I did say lil cousin, she is younger than me. Chrissy as we call her is like a sister to me, we grew up together, we've lived together, done dirt together, and now we got hurt together. I affectionately tell my cousin that she is one of the slowest people I have ever met, but with good reason. My lil cousin is sometimes a lil slo on the uptake. One thing never ceases to amaze me, but my lil cousin really gets me. For her to be so slo, she has a lot of sense. She is one of the only people I can talk to about the deep stuff, maybe it's because she has no problem listening, and I have no problem talking.

Last night we were talking about her recent break up, and then the discussion moved towards our first loves. Christina just broke up with her first love about two weeks ago, and I broke up with my first love some months ago. Anyway last night Christina talked about how she was overcoming her heartache, she said she had written her ex a letter, and that it was part of the steps of overcoming heartache. While she told me it was too late for me to write a letter, my ex hates my guts, and Christina should know because my ex is her best friend. Hmm that goes on my list of dating rules, never date your cousin's best friend, that ends up being some messy and twisted ish. I did however see that Christina was on to something I probably haven't completely overcome the heartache, and thus I haven't completely moved on. Hmmm maybe it is time for me to listen to the words of my little cousin.

Maybe I should follow her steps:
1) Forgiveness: It's sounds a hell of a lot easier than it really is. I mean it's supposed to be we forgive and let go, but what happens when you've been hurt. It seems that plan goes right out the door. As a black man in America I've encountered some grimmy ish, but none hurt as much as having my heart broken. Heartbreak feels like betrayl.
2) Moving On: If you haven't really forgiven the person with whom you had a deep relationship, if you haven't really forgiven yourself, then you haven't really moved on. It seems like only recently I realized that I too was at fault for my breakup. While at first I tried to place all the blame on my exes shoulders, I now see how I was wrong. Part of being a man is admitting my mistakes, and I admit I made some. Until I get right by her, but most importantly until I get right with my damnself, I won't be any good to anyone else.
3) Happiness- Once I've taken care of steps 1 and 2, all it leaves is step 3 which is looking for happiness. To me happiness means doing me, being who I am, being true to me, and doing what it takes to bring me satisfaction. I know there's so much I want to do, I want to accomplish, but I know I'm the only one who can get me there. I'm the one in control of making happiness apart of my life.

So for all the guys and girls this is how my lil cousin taught her big cousin to overcome the heartache and to deal with the heartbreak.

Hot Stuff This Week:
TV: "Venus and Serena", Wednesday, 10pm, ABC Family "Being Bobby Brown", Thursday, 10pm, Bravo
Music: Amerie, "Touch"..."Like It Used to Be"...."Talkin' About"
Book: Still reading it, maybe I'll be done by next week, "Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria"-I'm finally going to finish it, I mean it this time, find it in a bookstore or on amazon.com
Site of The Week: critick.blogspot.com
Sad News for This Week: BET dogged out AJ and Free, but I kinda think that they'll be back. You can knock em down, but you can't knock em out. They'll be back!
That's all for now,
Christopher aka wiseman7886 bka CNEL$