Dating and Such

Being single is really starting to suck. I broke up with my ex in April and after that it was all gravy! I was dating like crazy and having all kinds of fun with my friends...but now it's all starting to get old. All of my friends are either getting new boyfriends or they're getting a lot more serious with their current boyfriends. And I'm starting to feel a tinge of jealousy when I see girls holding hands with their boyfriends and kissing and cuddling and blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the slightest bit desperate nor will I settle for anything less than what I deserve. It would just be nice to have a guy to go to the movies with, and out dinner, and shopping, and to the gym with and all that stuff. A guy that I know is mine and only mine. Oh well, I guess good things come to those who wait! I really don't have a goal in mind in writing this blog, I just felt like venting. (But feel free to respond if you like!) Thanks for listening!

The above message appeared on the blog of one of my myspace buddys. Below is my response followed by my own ranting and raving.

Kris, thanks so much for sharing. Those were my sentiments exactly, and it seems you expressed what I'm feeling better than me. I'm definitely sending a copy of this to all my friends who don't seem to see where I'm coming from. I don't know what it is about companionship, but it's something about it that's filling and fulfilling. When a relationship is done right that makes it all worthwhile. There is nothing better than having someone to share your life with, to help you grow, to help you become who it is you were meant to be. I can't wait to be able to say to someone "You inspire me to be better, you challenge me for the better." But as you noted good things come to those who are willing to wait. Satisfaction won't come from settling, but from demanding that the person who comes into your life is on your level. Hope you find the one who deserves you. -CNEL$

Today I received a phone call from one of my mentors. As usual she wanted to know what was going on in my life professionally, academically, socially, and romantically. I was glad to tell her that on the job front things are going well. I am very much enjoying my summer internship, though I aspire to become a broadcaster, the experience I'm getting in public relations is invaluable. Working for a government agency allows me to have varied experiences, and allows me to gain practical experience working with government agencies and businesses. On the academic front the summer is providing a much needed reprieve from classes. I'm hoping that the positivity I'm feeling and experiencing in my life right now will carry over into the school year. On the social front I am hanging out a lot more than I do normally, and experiencing what the Baltimore metro area has to offer. I'm so pumped for Artscape this weekend. I can't wait to see Vivian Green perform, her new album, along with that of Keyshia Cole are what's up right now. On the romance front, my love life is non-existent. Since my last relationship ended in March I've had what some might consider a drought. I'm not really pressed when it comes to pursuing girls, but at the same time I'm not one who wants to play the field. Talking to multiple people while fine for some is not at all appealing to me. When people ask why I'm single I tell them these are my top five reasons:

1) Baby Daddy Drama- While the government likes to say that teen pregnancy is down it doesn't look that way from where I'm sitting. It astonishes me how many girls my age have kids. I'm not in a position to deal with the baggage that sometimes entails, I am not anyone's baby daddy, so they can save the drama for they baby daddy. (In the words of Bishop Vashti Murphy McKenzie...."that's not right English but ebonically it is correct.") I'm not downing anyone for choosing motherhood, but having kids at a young age is not a walk in the park.

2) STDs- While I'm not about to go and do something I have no business doing, the health of my prospective partner is a legitimate point of interest for me. If your partner has done something that puts their health at risk you have to look at the bigger picture, how good are their decision making skills? What type of moral and ethical compass are they guided by? Point blank I'm not even dealing with someone who has a shaky past, and yes I will ask the have you been tested question, openly and freely, and as soon as I get the chance. Not cause we about to get down with the get down, but so that I know I am safe.

3) Lesbianism- I'm for whatever floats people's boats. If there is a woman who is happy being with another woman then I have no problem with that. I just wish I had as much luck as some of the sisters out there are having. While men are generally outnumbered, I contend that it hurts to have competition coming from anywhere.

4) Off Limits- I call girls I know I can't touch "The Untouchables" and from where I'm sitting all the qualified women are untouchable for a number of reasons. The most common reason is we have a preexisting friendship, which neither one of us, wants to mess up. Another reasons is the girl may be interested, but she's already otherwise committed. Those two reasons alone leaves CNEL here without a hottie bawattie to call my own.

5) Incompatible- The girls that are interested in me are not on my level. I mean there has to be some chemsitry there. I'm of the belief that you never ever lower your standards, just to be involved with someone. If that person doesn't make you a better you, and you don't make them better, then it just shouldn't be. There is a saying that there is somebody for everybody, well that somebody ain't me. I want a somebody to make me feel like a somebody. I want to make somebody feel like they are somebody and I want that to stand for something.

Hmmm maybe what my best friends tell me is actually true...maybe I am too picky....but I'd rather be too picky than unhappy anyday.

That's all for now. Thanks for allowing me to stand up on the soap box, I'mma jump down now in time to start my weekend.

Peace and Blessings,
CNEL$