I Miss My Grandma

Today is Thursday, July 21, 2005, and it was 3 years ago today that my grandmother died. My grandmother Gertrude was a phenomenal woman who raised 13 children, and served as a surrogate mother for all her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and countless family friends. It's weird not having my grandmother around. I remember when I was in Catholic school almost 24-7, or at boarding school, how visits to my grandmothers house were all the vacation and relaxation I needed.
My grandmother wasn't extremely religious, but she was very spiritual. She definitely believed in God, and could always be counted on to give a testimony. She could always be counted on to sing a song (country or gospel), read her Bible, recite scripture, offer words of wisdom, and encouragement.
Another one of the things I miss the most is my grandmother's cooking, she started cooking when she was 10, and she made the good stuff for 62 years. Even in her last years when her health wasn't the best she would make her way to the kitchen to do what only she could do. One of my favorite memories is her shepherding me into the kitchen to watch over me, as I made my favorite dessert. Now I don't have my grandmother to cook for me like she used to. Hmmm maybe that's why I've lost so much weight these last few years, LoL.
On a serious note what my grandmother epitomized was the beauty of black women, and the beauty of womanhood. My grandmother and my mother are the reasons I love black women. They are above all the reasons I love myself. Without having had them as an early support system I wouldn't be who I am today, I wouldn't be today.
While often jokingly pledge to my family that just as soon as I get my degree, I'm bolting, it's likely not going to be the case. If my grandmother taught me one thing it is to value family. Though I know some better than others, I love, like, and respect a number of them. The women in my family grandmother, mother, sister, aunts, and cousins have always been among my greatest network of supporters. Even when I did things I shouldn't have done, said things I shouldn't have said, and been someone I should not have come close to being, she was there in my corner. Her love of me sustained me, helped me grow, nurtured me, and now it challenges me to be a good man, a better man, a decent man.
Reflecting on the life of someone who meant so much for me has challenged me to always put things into perspective. While I don't lead a perfect life, no one does, I lead a good life. I'm on my way to being a person I can be proud of because of the love of others, because of their sacrifices, and because of their courage.
If you take nothing else away from this, it is the power of love, and the power of forgiveness are redeeming. They are blessings.