On the Record: Random Convos in Three Acts*

The journalist in me takes notes on nearly all conversations. Yeah it's not weird for me to stop a convo to grab pen and paper and do some note taking. Maybe I should let people know a conversation with me is always on the record.

I wonder if that would stop them from saying outrageous things to me. Probably not ...

Act 1, Scene 1

Anon. Resident 1: Who do you want to boink (have sex with)?

Me: I don't do freshman.

Anon. Resident 1: But we'll be sophomores in a couple of weeks.


Act 1, Scene 2

Me: You don't like any of them? Are you sure?

Anon. Resident 2 : Oh no they're like my best friends. So I guess you can say they're like my gay friends, except they're not gay. I just pretend they are. That makes spooning with them a little better. I guess you can say I'm playing with their emotions, because I'd never date them.

Act 2, Scene 1

Me: He said something about we can't change it because it's tradition. I wanted to say if we followed tradition I'd probably be a slave right now.

(Friend gives me the look)

Me: What? There was a tradition of slavery in this country.


Act 3, Scene 1
-Best Friend on compatibility

Best Friend #3 (#3 as in acquired in college): I think I'm pretty self-sufficient. I don't know if I want to risk ups and downs...the emotional rollercoaster. I don't know if I want a girlfriend right now, but if I did want one I think I'd ask her out.

Act 3, Scene 2

-Best Friend on crushing

"It wasn't like a physical crush, this was more like a connection."