"I Don't Dream"

Many moons ago, yes I did say many moons ago, I remember sitting in a World Religion class. On the day in question we had a substitute and in between talk of Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism we somehow got on the subject of dreams. People began talking about the frequency of their dreams, what they dreamt, and the like. I said with all seriousness, "I don't dream." I didn't say that to say that I don't have dreams and aspirations, but that whatever dreams I have while alseep I don't hold onto.

"It's not that you don't dream, everyone dreams. It's just that you don't remember your dreams."-My teacher said in his Australian accent

Even now I often don't remember what I dreamt, even if I do remember dreaming something.

So the other day when I dreamt my mother was driving, and I was outside giving her instructions on parking, she says I should have woke my behind up. My mother doesn't drive, has never driven, and doesn't want to learn. She says her "future husband" will be her driver. Okay moms.

The other part of the dream involved "the ex", I say "the ex" because she was the one with whom I had the longest of any sort of relationship. We had known each other since 8th grade, and dated for two months midway through my freshman year in college. I guess it was something that needed to happen for me to grow. She went from being the "untouchable" to the one I couldn't go without touching. She rendered me my first heartache and heartbreak. Anyway the dream involved us crossing paths, only this time we had to confront our past. I couldn't walk away, and she couldn't let me just walk away. Somehow we walked and talked. Then she began climbing this ladder she stopped and looked down at me, and I stood at the bottom looking up. Finally we got to the point where we both apologized to each other. Me for giving up so easily. Her for leading me to believe certain things about the reality of our relationship. We kissed and we left open the possibility of trying again. And get this and then from nowhere her baby (yes, she did go and have a baby on me) entered the picture. Ummm given that our lives have changed diametrically, don't think that last part will be happening. I haven't quite figured out the intended message of the dream. There will be no dysfuctional version of "The Cosby Show" happening with ol CNEL, no, not now, not ever, never.

"True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, that has been, that willor even will not be."

I don't know if God was saying to me that we will reconcile, if I was being reminded of the importance of forgiveness, if I was being shown that my fortunes would change for the better. Lord, I pray all the above are true.

Or it could be a message to buy a dream book and go try my luck with "The Big Game".

P.S. Boy, can I relate to this song?

India Arie's "This Too Shall Pass"

An excerpt:
The one that loved me the most
Turned around and hurt me the worse
I’m doing my best to move on
But the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
Cause love ain't happening the way I wanted
Feel like I’m about to break down
Can’t hear the light at the end of the tunnel

So I pray for healing in my heart
To be put back together what is torn apart
And I pray for quiet in my head
That I can hear clearly what God says

Then I hear the whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the Angels whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of sudden I realize
That it only hurts worse to fight it
So I embrace my shadow
And hold on to the morning light

This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This (This) Too (Too) Shall (shall) Pass (Pass)
This Too Shall Pass This Too Shall Pass
I hear the angels whisper that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper
Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday.
I hear my angels whisper.
I hear my angels whisper.
This too shall pass.