"School Days"

A week ago I was out on a Sunday afternoon trying to find testurizers, and blue skirts for two little girls who most days have my heart. Can’t you tell? Given that I was out there shopping for those things, though not alone. There are other days when I want the younger of the two to say, “You’re not my friend anymore.” This at least let’s me know I’m off the hook and won’t be asked for anything until the next time she or her sister has a hand out. For some reason everyone seems to think my two little cousins are my “goddaughters”. They must think so too, because it seems that they have a list of needs, wants, and desires ready just for me when I call or come over for a visit. Anyway a call to my little cousin’s Toni and Tori was really intended to wish them well as they prepared for the fourth and first grades. The call ended with their mother requesting the above mentioned items. It’s only because I wanted my girls to be ready for school, that I indulged their mother my big cousin who I grew up with.

The next day I drove past the elementary school that I attended for six years. It was surreal for me for the first time in seventeen years to not be gearing up to head back to classes. Something about it felt different, and wrong. One of the besties is a teacher. Gosh that’s weird to even contemplate. Another is entering his second year of med school. And the most recent bestie, who got me through at least our senior year of college, is saving and changing lives as a dorm director and grad student.

For a few weeks earlier in the summer I thought I too would need pens, paper, pencils, and money for books. I got accepted into a master’s program at a prestigious university over in D.C. Unfortunately reality hit me and I realized I couldn’t afford it. At least not without mortgaging my future, and acquiring maybe eight times more debt than I have from undergrad. You know for what I was expected to pay for a master’s degree I could buy a house and a new car. If I was a teacher or in Baltimore I could buy two houses for that amount. I could say goodbye to the hoopty ya’ll.

I don’t know if my predicament came from a lack of preparation. Partly, because I didn’t know my desire to continue my education would be so strong so soon. Therefore I didn’t really think about the financial considerations, such as applying for grants and scholarships earlier. I mean I always knew that I’d eventually want to get my master’s; the question has always been when.
So after trying to reconcile my work schedule with a class schedule, after boosting up my excitement level. I decided to defer my acceptance. The admissions folks told me I have up to a year to change my mind. A lot can happen in a year.

I guess maybe this was a message from the master planner to be better prepared the next time.A week ago I was out on a Sunday afternoon trying to find testurizers, and blue skirts for two little girls who most days have my heart. Can’t you tell? Given that I was out there shopping for those things, though not alone. There are other days when I want the younger of the two to say, “You’re not my friend anymore.” This at least let’s me know I’m off the hook and won’t be asked for anything until the next time she or her sister has a hand out. For some reason everyone seems to think my two little cousins are my “goddaughters”. They must think so too, because it seems that they have a list of needs, wants, and desires ready just for me when I call or come over for a visit. Anyway a call to my little cousin’s Toni and Tori was really intended to wish them well as they prepared for the fourth and first grades. The call ended with their mother requesting the above mentioned items. It’s only because I wanted my girls to be ready for school, that I indulged their mother my big cousin who I grew up with.

The next day I drove past the elementary school that I attended for six years. It was surreal for me for the first time in seventeen years to not be gearing up to head back to classes. Something about it felt different, and wrong. One of the besties is a teacher. Gosh that’s weird to even contemplate. Another is entering his second year of med school. And the most recent bestie, who got me through at least our senior year of college, is saving and changing lives as a dorm director and grad student.

For a few weeks earlier in the summer I thought I too would need pens, paper, pencils, and money for books. I got accepted into a master’s program at a prestigious university over in D.C. Unfortunately reality hit me and I realized I couldn’t afford it. At least not without mortgaging my future, and acquiring maybe eight times more debt than I have from undergrad. You know for what I was expected to pay for a master’s degree I could buy a house and a new car. If I was a teacher in Baltimore I could buy two houses for that amount. I could say goodbye to the hoopty ya’ll.

I don’t know if my predicament came from a lack of preparation. Partly, because I didn’t know my desire to continue my education would be so strong so soon. Therefore I didn’t really think about the financial considerations, such as applying for grants and scholarships earlier. I mean I always knew that I’d eventually want to get my master’s; the question has always been when.
So after trying to reconcile my work schedule with a class schedule, after boosting up my excitement level. I decided to defer my acceptance. The admissions folks told me I have up to a year to change my mind. A lot can happen in a year.

I guess maybe this was a message from the master planner to be better prepared the next time.

So maybe this words will continue to ring in my head, 'Be prepared or be prepared to fail.' - Isha Sesay