Love and Sex and the In Between

First up this evening is a poem by the singer and the poet Ms. Jill Scott.

To My New Lover (Written on March 27, 1993)

For the first time I’ve allowed someone, no you, to strip me of all my
clothing, all my confusion, all my doubt, all my fear of love
and life.
I am Naked. Yes naked. Butt naked and
Impressed with your ability to see me,
To see ME
clearly
through my private, lonely haze.
You touch me.
You feel me and make me tremble with the possibilities of
Tomorrow, the next day, the next day and forever baby.
With you.
I feel my cloud cleared
my rain washing me.
With you
my flower blooms in December cold
With you
I lose mental chaps and gain tranquility.
You have my power and when I grow weary,
you replenish me.
With you
my angry ocean sits placid easy calm
With you
I have become
My entire self.

Thank you.


So this afternoon for lunch I walked to Harborplace at the Inner Harbor with one of my co-workers. We went inside a ghetto lit store, before getting some grub from one of the Asian eateries and a smoothie from Starbucks. Speaking of ghetto lit over the weekend I read my little cousin’s teenage geared ghetto lit book. “Teenage Bluez: A Collection of Urban Stories.” It was shall we say an interesting look at issues which often confront teen girls. In the first story “Life in the Fast Lane” a young girl becomes involved with a star scholar-athlete to whom she gives her virginity on his prom night resulting in pregnancy which she chooses not to abort claiming that an abortion would be something she would not forget or forgive herself for, and oh she also finds God. The next story “Phat As I Wanna Be” shows us a girl who develops bulimia due to her parent’s messy divorce, and her mother’s constant comparisons of her to her overweight dad. The next story “Scared Straight” is the story of a wealthy teenage boy whose life as a black boy in majority white places makes him a nerd and unpopular, so he befriends a local thug and goes joyriding resulting in some time in juvenile hall. The next story “Image Is Everything” takes us inside the life of the daughter of a star football player who looses her relationship with her best friend a groupie who goes down on a drug charge from taking part in the riches of drug dealers. The next to last story “Double Whammy” is about a young girl who becomes involved with an older man, and gives up her virginity only to gain an unwanted pregnancy and HIV from a man who is purposely infecting women. The last story “Unbroken Promises” finds a star gymnast balancing her boyfriend and gymnastics, and overcoming an injury to become a champion.

I won’t go into how well written or plausible some of the stories were, but I will talk about the apparent misconception that all some males want is sex. Time and time again I read how these girls were told by their mothers that that was all that was on boy’s minds. I know for a fact those same words are uttered in real life. Do some boys become sex-crazed because their parents don’t have talks with them about sex, relationships, and the difference between the two?

Which leads me to a convo with one of my male friends:

Him: “My mother thinks I’m out here having sex with everyone I know.”

Me: “Why because you nasty?” (Said sarcastically)

Him: “No, I don’t know.”

Me: “I mean she just wants you to be safe …”

Him: I’m a f*@!kin virgin. I don’t even own condoms.”

See not all boys are after the booty, and the booty by itself. Some of us do want substance. (Note: I am a sucker for boy shorts, I love a girl in boys shorts!)