A Revelation

Yesterday, I had a revelation. My revelation was this: kids are not for me.

For years really it seems I have proclaimed over and over again that I'm not having kids. There was a brief stint when I was with my ex, that I foolishly thought I would settle down and have a bunch of rugrats (2 to be exact, I wanted two girls, she wanted one boy chances are one of us was going to be disappointed), I had names picked out and everything, and yes I do remember them. I know someone out there is thinking I'm too damn young to have even been contemplating sex, marriage, kids, or any of the other issues which still confound some adults who are twice my age. Well, my friends say I'm 19 going on 50 and there are some days, when I feel I'm fast approaching the 50 mark. But really I discovered yesterday I don't think my lifestyle will allow me to have kids.

What prompted this one might ask?

Well, yesterday I took my two little cousins who I affectionately call "my daughters" to the aquarium. I had promised to spend time with "the little ladies" when I still worked at the kid's museum. Well, I picked my little cousins up at around 3:00, headed downtown on the bus I might add with a 3 3/4, and a 6 six year old. One went to sleep on the trip down, and the other tried to cut up, but I wasn't haven't it. I told them before we left their house I had no problems turning around and taking them home, I didn't want to have to strong-arm the little ones, I am a real disciplinarian. I don't take no mess.

After spending about 90 minutes at the aquarium we headed for food since "the little ladies" claimed to be hungry. Our attempts to eat at Harborplace were ruined by crowds of anime convention goers. I have never seen so many grown @ss people dressed in costumes in my life. My little 6 year old cousin looked up and asked, "What is it Halloween?" And I responded "Not quite but apparently it's on its way." We made the trek to McDonald's where my "little ladies" ate 45% of their Happy Meals (they have appetites which are the size of one of my fists). While they ate I sat and marveled at the different characters who came into the restaurant there was the typical old person, the typical homeless person, and a flamboyant gay trio who was about to be popped for trying to come onto me, as I tended to my little cousins.

As I proceeded to take the little ladies home, the older of the two started to show her @ss. I had to play the role of "mean big cousin." As we neared their house I told both the girls not to even think about going to sleep or faking sleep. Once we got to our destination I got up to walk off the bus, and they were still sitting there.

"Come on ya'll I said."
"Hold on they sleep," the gentleman sitting in front of us yelled.
"They aren't sleep." I said looking back.

With those words two pairs of little legs came jumping down the stairs and off the boss. Once again the older of the two attempted to show her @ss. After I threatened to pop her and then call her parents she settled down. As we walked to their house the youngest said this:

"Goody (that's my childhood nickname: don't laugh) you're mean."
"I'm mean."
"Yeah."
"You not my cousin no more."
"I'm not your cousin anymore," I said. "Okay."

Once I got them home they were all smiles after of course having spent their parents money and my money.

My excursion with the little ladies taught me this:

Kids are not for me because
1) They take little time to make, but they take all your time after that
2) They take a lot of money, and boy do they like to spend it.
3) They look to you for guidance, and you better get it right, they're so impressionable.
4) They have little personalities and smart mouths.
5) They are cute but not so cuddly.

I'm
1) A little selfish with my time, it's what I want, when I want it.
2) I do like spending money on people besides myself, but all the time umm no.
3) I don't want to corrupt any young minds.
4) I don't believe in beatings, whippings, or spankings, but the wrong child would probably drive me to child abuse.
5) They're fun to name, but they ill run game on you.

12 hour days....me being me....and me being there for other people....those things together probably wouldn't bode well for a family.

I guess I could always be a godfather, atleast then I could give the kids back :-)!

-CNEL$