Impossible is Impossible

This blog is my way of reflecting upon life. Life is about living and learning. As I live and learn I’m going to reflect upon this life I lead. Hopefully I'll offer something insightful with my postings. If you learn nothing else from me, know this that “impossible is impossible”.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

FWB: Friends With Benefits

So little oh my me, was hosting on the radio as usual. It was my second to last show(s). Thus, I say the countdown till I reclaim part of my life, namely my Sunday's is in full effect. I didn't know I had many listeners because I was engulfed in a conversation about what to do about this crush I have, a story for another day. Anyways, a listener sent in a request. She wanted me to talk about the possibility of there ever being "Friends with Benefits."

Hmmm I thought to myself. Let me think about that, let me let it marinate for a minute.

So as a young black male, I know how difficult the dating situation is out there. It's kind of rough guys, take it from me.

FWB's defined as

The most accurate ones in my mind:
"Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment."


"A safe relationship, that mimics a real partnership but is void or greatly laking jealousy and other such emotions that come with a serious relationship."


"A physically involved relationship, where both partners enjoy some comforts of sitting on the fence between serious relationship and simple friendship."


"Any realtionship that can only be catagorized as being between Friends and Partners, also refered to as More then friends"


"Two people break up over complictaions of a serious relationship and decide to continue their relationship a step down, but not far enough as to have physical bounderies."

So here's my take:

The bottom line is we all want "love." We all want to feel as if we're wanted. We all want to feel that connectedness, that intimacy that comes when you're in a relationship with someone who respect, honor, and cherish you. Sometimes the trapping of the "title", the "expectation" that comes with being in a committed relationship complicates things. Sometimes people want to just be able to be free, to come and go as they please. So some people choose to be "FWB's" just to get that companionship, and that fulfillment that they need. Is it enough? Can it lead to more? Hmmm. I guess it depends on where the two people want it to go.

I myself never want to be just a "FWB", I'm more than a piece of meat, and I have sworn off "cuddle buddies" cause that is just a mess waiting to happen as we discussed here before.

Bottomline contentment doesn't come without clarity. It make time to get all those things that you want, and sometimes settling for something is better, than having nothing to hold onto. Well holding on to someone, whose going up and go, isn't my idea of contentment.

Hmm so when it comes "FWB"'s, I say tread carefully!


At 4:02 PM , Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

Very well said, young man! So damn grown you are. ;)

At 10:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wisdom young Padawan, wisdom

At 12:57 PM , Blogger spchrist said...

A commitment is always better in my opinion

At 8:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very well said Cnel :)..."contentment doesn't come without clarity"--that is something that most peopole will not learn until they have experienced the fogginess that comes with being a FWBs or a "sorta kinda" as i like to call them, lol

At 8:00 AM , Blogger Chris said...

"...contentment doesn't come without clarity." That is so true and profound, looks like you might have a calling as an advice columnist also.


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