So Whose the Daddy?
Currently ListeningGet Lifted
By John Legend
So High
I just found out that my ex-girlfriend is two months pregnant. NO NOT BY ME. We've been broken up for a while now, every since I was still a freshman. I am now halfway done my sophomore year in college. Our relationship didn't last very long, but I pursued her off and on for five years, and finally she said, "Yes." Given the brevity of our relationship I'm not quite sure if she dated me out of pity, if she was just bored, or if she was getting tired of me asking. A lot of people ask me if she was my first love. Even my mother wanted to ask that question, but she didn't dare do it. See the thing is my mother really liked my ex. She often said that she would become her daughter in law. Well sorry to disappoint my mom, but I don't quite think that will be happening. But as I thought about it, and reflected on it, I realized that when my cousin my ex's best friend told me she was pregnant my heart almost stopped. Should I care? Should I have felt a twinge of jealousy ( I know that was dumb)? A twinge of regret? A twinge of frustration? I wonder did I leave a vice untouched? But the fact is now that I think about it. Now that the immediate hurt and pain is gone, I think now she may have been my first love. No I was not in love, I don't believe in that notion. I believe rather that we grow to love people because love can start, it can stop, or it can keep going.
It had to be love that had me saying:
"Just wanted to say even though I give you the blues, your voice is music to my soul, your laugh like a beautiful song written only for me, and your smile like Michaelangelo's paintings a work of art. You have me at your fingertips, I admit it I'm whipped. I love you, goodnight."
Either it was love or I am a big punk.
"You are the first person I think about when I wake up. You are the last person I think about before I go to sleep. 'U inspire me to be better. U challenge me for the better.'-DC3 143, Goodnight"
You know it's love when you quoting DC3.
Oh lord, who thought of allowing you to archive text messages. HaHa who ever knew I'd be so doggone sentimental. HaHa I even saved the texts she sent to dump me. This stuff is classic if I ever write an autobiography, that joint will be hilarious.
I'm so happy it's almost Friday, then I can breathe. It's so sad going from week to week of the new semester makes me feel like I'm holding my breathe.
Enjoy your day or night, and thanks for stopping by.
-CNEL
posted by CNEL @ 12:35 AM
2 Comments:
" I'm spruuunnng! Dog she got meeeee!!" That song was probably made for you. Those lines were kinda deep.
I feel you on being mad when you found out she was pregnant. I was a lil upset when I would hear stuff about Gina. I got pissed when I found out my ex hooked up with this dude a month after we broke up. I felt as if she did not love me because she was able to move on so quickly. I still feel a lil hurt when I hear stuff. You probably feel the same way. All I can say is that there is no problem in feeling a little hurt. I think you cn handle it.
Awww, you should absolutely be feeling some kinda way about your ex-con being knocked up...that's 17% of your paycheck that YOU get to keep. Drop to your knees and thank God it ain't yours. That's real! You're so young, and you've obviously got a lot of great things on your horizon...[congrats on Italia!] So be glad this isn't your mess to clean up. When you broke up, did you kind of feel like the door might still be open, for like, when she grows up and realizes the good thing she had and lost? Well, subconsciously you probably think that door's closed now...but I tell ya what, bet me a Subway footlong that she will be coming to that realization a lot sooner than you expected. I'm making light of the situation, but I think it only makes sense for you to feel the way you do. When I found out an ex was engaged, it felt like I was being left behind. Like my life wasn't progressing fast enough like his obviously was. It's natural.
[whole wheat, chicken breast, tomatoes, provolone, sweet peppers and olives, pls.] :)
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