Sexuality and Race and Culture

In my last post I wrote about how Mikey, Carl, Leon, and I went to the movies. The car ride was interesting. Since we were on our way to see a Tyler Perry movie, someone brought up the film "Why Did I Get Married". Once on the subject of marriage, Carl noted he would likely marry a male friend, in his home state of New Jersey cause he says its legal there. He noted the marriage would be purley for tax purposes. I didn't think that I heard him right, and he repeated again primarily for tax purposes.

Then I thought back to a conversation with a straight friend where she said that she too would get married and have just one child, purely for political purposes. She said that it would be to her advantage to show that she could be a working mother. This was without us even broaching the subject of Michelle Obama and before Sarah Palin and the whole working mother discussion became such a political hot button issue.

That's when it dawned on me that my gay and straight friends aren't that different. They are all opportunistic, ready to do whatever gives them the upper hand.

Being with them also made me think about the conversation with my good friend Terrell about sexuality and people of color. Terrell is studying Comparitive Ethnic Studies in college. He hopes to one day get his Ph.D in Ethnic Studies. He wants to focus on the intersection of race, culture, and sexualiy. The other day we talked about how women can more often than not explore the potential that they are bisexual and for the most part it not be a problem. They can also pronounce their "girl crushes" but men can't have a boy or man crush, and can't really explore their sexuality without ultimately being labeled gay. Such a complex issue that needs to be unpacked and explored.

Terrell and I have had this discussion particulary when we first noticed the trend of more and more girls announcing that they were lesbians, especially girls in middle and high school. We both looked and wondered whether it was a phase, whether these girls had fully explored their sexuality and what it meant to define themselves in such a way.

There was also the reality of seeing young boys of color, struggle to identify themselves, have open and honest dialogue with their parents, navigate tricky social circles, and just be whoever it was they were meant to be.

Just as this nation is coming to terms with the need to have open and frank discussions about race, so too do they need to have discussions about sexuality.